OMG, What is my deal? Suddenly, out of the blue, I miss difficult child like I have left him at pre-school on his first day of school. I don't know if it is hormones, or the fact I will be seeing him in 2 weeks and I am nervous, or the possibility of my new job in a new town without him - but it is insane. I feel like I did when he was little, just needing to see him when he was 2 and I worked a 10 hour day. That kinda maternal, guttural, feeling. I hate it. He has been gone 6 months, and I have only seen him once, but I have not felt like this until about 4 days ago. Of course I have really missed him, but it has not been this type of intense feeling, or this nauseating, for lack of a better word. To make it even more complicated, I start perseverating on missing difficult child - and then I start missing H. - and then I just start to cry and have a huge anxiety attack all at the same time. I do have to say in the course of 18 months, every 6 months I have had traumatic life events. My dad, H., difficult child leaving - and if I get this job - that will be the fourth major life event in 2 years. Maybe I am just in over my head with this job thing. Maybe it is too much. I don't know. Any ideas, besides something biological? Any ideas on making it freaking go away? I know it is on the un-healthy side of me to be like this - especially if I am still feeling this when I go see difficult child. That would be really, really bad.