So we are living our lives and nothing is going wrong (except difficult child throws sister's DS in the pool, carves on the $1000 dining room table, and is missing school uniforms--nothing unusual for him, isn't it sad how you get acclimated and yell at him a bit and forget about it and move on like it's nothing?) And one evening last week the police come to the door. They got a call from the school that our youngest, a happy, well adjusted 8 year old was possibly a subject of child abuse. Now difficult child has for four years told everyone he comes in contact with that he's beaten and starved and poisoned and 'somebody' steals his homework and clothes, and plants the weapons on him that he takes to school, and etc... We've had several CPS investigations, the most serious being when difficult child said I threw him on the ground and jumped on his back three times (this said at the time he was standing in the principal's office about to be arrested the 4th time in 2 years and the second time in 2 months for taking a razor blade to school). difficult child was taken to a forensic child abuse special doctor employed by CPS who took one look at him, saw no bruises, broken bones, internal bleeding, soreness or anything that would be indicative that a 170 lb woman jumped on a 70 lb kid's back three times. Within minutes of seeing difficult child they were quizzing my husband about difficult child's psychiatric history, because CLEARLY this kid was lying. CPS has told us how sorry they are, and have told us to put cameras in the house to protect us, and the last time they came to the house (in Dec 08, because difficult child still tells everyone he comes in contact with he's being abused and they have to follow up every call) the CPS worker yelled at difficult child and told him that your parents don't have to do anything for you except give you one set of clothing and described how terrible the dentention center would be for him if he didn't shape up. So we are used to CPS showing up for difficult child. So it was shocking that the police were coming to our house for our daughter. She's a golden child. We have no problems with her. THe officer spoke to her privately then told me he didn't understand what was going on, he'd left two messages at the school and no one called back and it was all vague and didn't make sense. He considered it a closed case. So my husband calls the school and somehow finds out who made the call, it was a school counselor. And at first she doesn't want to talk to him (after all he's the scummy child abusing father), but he says he's happy to talk about it to the principal instead of her and she let's it rip. Apparently she's seeing 'red flags' about daughter. What red flags? Oh she's terrified of being punished and writes long apology letters to her teacher and is so anxious to help other people she's falling behind in her class. Huh? Last report card she had 3 A's, a B, and a C, and her papers come home with good grades. Daughter is a talkative, friendly, extrovert who loves interacting with people. It's her personality. Give her a choice of doing math sums or 'helping' the little girl in the next seat with her math sums, and guess what daughter's going to choose? And what's wrong with three A's, a B and a C? Umm...the counselor apparently wasn't aware that her grades were that good. Well, she writes these long apology letters to the teacher, because she's so afraid of punishment that she's trying to appease her. Dad must be a too harsh disciplinarian and she's terrified of getting into trouble. Ummm...well, two weeks into this school year the teacher complained to Dad that daughter was talking too much and being silly and dad had her write an apology to her teach, maybe fifty words. Other than that we had no idea she was writing apology letters, and if she's crying at school because she's afraid she's going to get in trouble with the teacher, how does it follow that Dad's the one she's afraid of, doesn't it sound like she's more afraid of her teacher? Umm....she keeps losing her books. Yes, her brother twice threw her bookbag in the pool. We notified the school, paid for the books, and the second set of books returned all swollen and falling apart to the teacher (did she not believe us). Apparently this proves that daughter is not being helped organize and is being left to flounder at home and needs more parental involvement in her schoolwork. Well, what about that science project she turned in last month and got an A on, a lot of parental involvement went into that. And she can't be the only one who loses books, although she's probably the only one who has an older brother who throws them in pools. Well, the school was seeing red flags and were afraid that we were going to send her to military school like we did her brother. difficult child was no trouble to the school, he was so bright and polite, and yet he got yanked out of school and stuck into military school. My husband was struck dumb. He said, well the school had him arrested 3 times for felony possession on school property of a weapon. That wasn't a problem for the school? Oh...umm...she'd heard something about that...she didn't really know...umm.... And it's a military school where difficult child comes home everyday, and where he doesn't seem to have to wear a uniform because he's thrown them all away, and where they gave up on him having a signed agenda everyday, gave up on him doing homework and carrying a bookbag because he simply won't no matter what. (it's kind of a disorganized school and they too sort of believe difficult child's stories of having mean parents, but the best option we have right now). I don't think daughter is even aware that he's going to a military school--all her siblings go to different schools: middle school, high school, college. Why not difficult child as well? But apparently difficult child's old school didn't think we should have put difficult child into a military school, and are worried we are going to put daughter into a military school too (which by the way is OUR choice not theirs, even if she doesn't behave, there are lots of families that send all their kids to military schools as a tradition. We can send her to military school, private school, religious school, or even homeschool her). Since when did it become a crime to send a problem child to military school. How did helping others become a 'red flag for child abuse'? Why is it that if your troubled brother throws your bookbag in the pool it's a sign that you are neglected and come from an unloving home? The counselor lectured my husband about how daughter is just an 8 year old girl and little girls needs love and attention. Too bad the counselor doesn't know he asst coached her soccer team, drives her to school most days, tucks her into bed at night, takes him with her when he goes shopping (he does all the family grocery and other shopping), signs her agenda most days (when daughter remembers to give it to him). Sounds like neglect huh. The counselor backed off a little at the end and acknowledged daughter seems happy and had recently showed her a pair of earrings that her her stepbrother (whom she called just brother) had given her. For this we get a call to the police? WTH is the matter with people?