Well friends I felt I had to open a new thread. I had known all along that the guy and his dad my difficult child was living with was bad news. I have known it for years. I told my difficult child yesterday that if I was him I would be looking for another place to live - he said he had no other choice - I told him yes he did - detox - mission - somewhere to get help - he said no - that we were the cause of him being homeless and basically it was our fault - I told him no it was his fault for disobeying the rules - again - anyway, that was when I made my $10.00 mistake and beat myself up the rest of the night - went to alanon and vented - where they love me unconditionally - and came home. I got a phone call - forgot to turn off cell phone - at 4:15 in the morning - from difficult child - he and his "friend" had gotten into a fight - he was at Waffle House in hhis boxers - coat - shoes - could we come and get him - obviously drunk or whatever - I started having a panic attack as usual and my husband said ***** no - and I started to cry - of course difficult child starts begging please I will go to detox tomorrow, etc., anyway - we did not go get him - hard - he walked into the city of a small town where he is - I called the police and they couldnt find him - so in a little while - trying to sleep - he calls and said did you call the police and I said yes - he said why I said beacause you need help - he says dont do that - I am ok - I said where are you (mistake) he said I am not going to tell you - ilove you - bye - I asked him if he was going to detox and he said yes - who knows - I dont know where he is - this is so hard - it is hard to know if you are detaching too much or what - i dont want to enable him - i think I am a trigger for him too - what is he supposed to do know? If he goes to detox what next? Where do they go to wait? I am so sad and scared.