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uncertain future on the spectrum
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<blockquote data-quote="1 Day At a Time" data-source="post: 60138" data-attributes="member: 3704"><p>I am so happy to see this thread. Frankly, it's really my main thought and concern these days - besides trying to help my difficult child make it through high school successfully. husband, who has more than a touch of GFGness himself (but really don't we all?) keeps saying that he thinks it's all going to come together. He really identifies with our difficult child and his issues - for example he didn't care about high school either - he also saw the teachers as his peers - and wasn't motivated to please them. He points out that he (husband) went through rough patches but that he made it and is doing quite well now, thank you very much...</p><p>I am not so optimistic. While I can understand that husband identifies with difficult child - I know that they are different people with different issues. We've pretty much given up on ever coming to the "top" of the waiting list at the local University Autism Center for an evaluation for difficult child - so we've finally located a private psychologist who only works with folks with Autism and we're going for our evalution in a couple of weeks.</p><p>I know that an official diagnosis can open some doors for adult services that I believe difficult child is going to need. I had a long, frank conversation with my easy child a few weeks ago about this. He has been really, really resistent to the idea that difficult child could be on the spectrum - but he came around after reading a recent bestseller by a fellow with high functioning autism. He could not believe how much the fellow was like difficult child. We had the conversation that we really needed to have - simply that husband and I don't expect him to take care of difficult child, not ever. If he wants to help out in some way - that's wonderful, but we are going to plan for difficult child's care. I guess some of it is a little bit of a waiting game. We love, support, teach, and model - and pray for some delayed maturation to kick in. It's hard to know the correct balance between loving care and an appropriate push towards independence - and it's made much harder by our difficult child's physical disability. We're taking it step by step and learning as we go, but we're definitely expecting to be in it for the long run.This is a very difficult concept for husband, he didn't want to be caring for children in his twilight years (nor did I), but I think he's coming around.</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="1 Day At a Time, post: 60138, member: 3704"] I am so happy to see this thread. Frankly, it's really my main thought and concern these days - besides trying to help my difficult child make it through high school successfully. husband, who has more than a touch of GFGness himself (but really don't we all?) keeps saying that he thinks it's all going to come together. He really identifies with our difficult child and his issues - for example he didn't care about high school either - he also saw the teachers as his peers - and wasn't motivated to please them. He points out that he (husband) went through rough patches but that he made it and is doing quite well now, thank you very much... I am not so optimistic. While I can understand that husband identifies with difficult child - I know that they are different people with different issues. We've pretty much given up on ever coming to the "top" of the waiting list at the local University Autism Center for an evaluation for difficult child - so we've finally located a private psychologist who only works with folks with Autism and we're going for our evalution in a couple of weeks. I know that an official diagnosis can open some doors for adult services that I believe difficult child is going to need. I had a long, frank conversation with my easy child a few weeks ago about this. He has been really, really resistent to the idea that difficult child could be on the spectrum - but he came around after reading a recent bestseller by a fellow with high functioning autism. He could not believe how much the fellow was like difficult child. We had the conversation that we really needed to have - simply that husband and I don't expect him to take care of difficult child, not ever. If he wants to help out in some way - that's wonderful, but we are going to plan for difficult child's care. I guess some of it is a little bit of a waiting game. We love, support, teach, and model - and pray for some delayed maturation to kick in. It's hard to know the correct balance between loving care and an appropriate push towards independence - and it's made much harder by our difficult child's physical disability. We're taking it step by step and learning as we go, but we're definitely expecting to be in it for the long run.This is a very difficult concept for husband, he didn't want to be caring for children in his twilight years (nor did I), but I think he's coming around. [/QUOTE]
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