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Substance Abuse
unchecked anxiety & relapse
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<blockquote data-quote="RN0441" data-source="post: 695318" data-attributes="member: 15032"><p>Rebelson:</p><p></p><p>I think a point to mull over here - and I hate to say this, but usually addicts don't get it the first time they are in rehab. I remember when I heard this when my son was in rehab (he was only 15) I was very upset (what do you mean?? now what??) but I figured he'd be different. I also learned for the first time that he had "low self esteem". I was mortified, how could he? He had a great life and a wonderful family. I remember you said you were upset by that also. I think addicts do not have high self esteem. How could they with all they've done to themselves and those that love them.</p><p></p><p>I think my son WANTS to be sober. Wants to do good. Wants to be successful. Wants us to be proud. He has said all these things to me. But does he really want to do the work? I don't think so.</p><p></p><p>It's good that your son is back in PHP. I hope you can try to detach more so YOU can be okay. I see my therapist tonight and I so look forward to the appointments. I cry every time I go even though I feel like I won't when I first get there. I guess I need to do that.</p><p></p><p>Where I am right now with him is that I will not accept that he accepts the person he is right now. He knows I will not accept that he is not working very hard to be the man that we know he can be. I do not call him now. I do not carry my phone around just "in case he calls or texts". We are really letting him do this on his own. This is the first time we have done it this way. Maybe in reality we are just trying another approach? I don't know but I feel a lot better than I have in a long time. I'm not taking responsibility anymore for this. I think I am slowly learning to let go. He knows we love him.</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="RN0441, post: 695318, member: 15032"] Rebelson: I think a point to mull over here - and I hate to say this, but usually addicts don't get it the first time they are in rehab. I remember when I heard this when my son was in rehab (he was only 15) I was very upset (what do you mean?? now what??) but I figured he'd be different. I also learned for the first time that he had "low self esteem". I was mortified, how could he? He had a great life and a wonderful family. I remember you said you were upset by that also. I think addicts do not have high self esteem. How could they with all they've done to themselves and those that love them. I think my son WANTS to be sober. Wants to do good. Wants to be successful. Wants us to be proud. He has said all these things to me. But does he really want to do the work? I don't think so. It's good that your son is back in PHP. I hope you can try to detach more so YOU can be okay. I see my therapist tonight and I so look forward to the appointments. I cry every time I go even though I feel like I won't when I first get there. I guess I need to do that. Where I am right now with him is that I will not accept that he accepts the person he is right now. He knows I will not accept that he is not working very hard to be the man that we know he can be. I do not call him now. I do not carry my phone around just "in case he calls or texts". We are really letting him do this on his own. This is the first time we have done it this way. Maybe in reality we are just trying another approach? I don't know but I feel a lot better than I have in a long time. I'm not taking responsibility anymore for this. I think I am slowly learning to let go. He knows we love him. [/QUOTE]
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