He doesn't think so. Our son's 20th birthday is Sunday. We're taking him out to dinner tomorrow, since the place he wants to go is closed Sunday. I had some clean clothes in the car we found while cleaning out his old room and offered to drop them by...he wasn't there. Well, I texted him and told him that if he wasn't freshly showered and shampooed tomorrow we'd leave him. When he had court last month, he was gross...wrinkled and his hair was so greasy I wouldn't have touched it on a bet. I don't want to see him like that. If nothing else, he has the ability to be clean! Well, that was apparently the wrong thing to say; it led to six texts about how he can't have a good day without someone b*tching at him or being condescending to him and how he hadn't planned on looking like but he was sure I would think he did regardless and how it was y for me to say we'd leave him on his birthday when he has no one to spend it with except for us and only one other person who doesn't think he's a piece of the aforementioned ..... Yeah...fun times. He doesn't get that I'm scared for him. I'm scared all the time. He's got until mid-May to do his community service, but he won't have that done because he has no money to pay for it. He has until June and then he's out of that apartment unless he has a job...because we won't keep paying the rent. He has until June and then the phone is cut off...because we won't pay for that. I'm scared all the time about his life. I've tried to tell him that. Reminding him that he has to take care of stuff...is met with anger. He snapped and got an attitude at court when I told him he HAD to get a job so he could pay his fees because he'd go to jail if he didn't. Time is so close now. But I can't talk to him...he just gets attitude. I want ONE thing in the whole world. I want normal. I want him to have a normal life. I want him to have a normal job and be as clean as a normal person and to have normal conversations and a few normal friends. He doesn't understand that it isn't that I have standards too high. It isn't that I'm embarrassed to be seen with him or that I don't like him or that I think he's not good enough...it's that seeing him all gross and dirty just reminds me of all the problems. It makes me so sad. All I wanted was to prevent a problem before it started...I didn't want to get there tomorrow and have him be all gross and upset me then. I wanted to have a nice meal and for an hour or so maybe be able to pretend our lives weren't so messed up. Now I don't even want to go tomorrow.