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Unconditional love?
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<blockquote data-quote="BusynMember" data-source="post: 653312" data-attributes="member: 1550"><p>Lil, you are not him, he is not you. You were a dutiful daughter who did what your parents expected of you. He is rebellious and unconventional who does not share your values. You SHOULD have dinner without judging his appearance. Who cares what strangers in the next booth think?</p><p></p><p>Lil, if he does not get a job he will pay the consequences, but you didn't raise him not to work and it has nothing to do with you. It is not within your control. Any consequences you dole out or don't chose are within your control. Nothing else.</p><p></p><p>Lil, often even with my girls, who are very talkative, sometimes they are quiet at dinner. So what? We know we are together and they know I love them. It matters if you decide that it matters to you. You can not control how he feels about the dinner. And try just to enjoy the food, talk when you can, and not judge. Even with practice, not judging others is hard. That's often our biggest mistake. We judge. I do it too. I am not reaming you a new one. It is hard not to judge. But when I don't, I am a much happier camper.</p><p></p><p>Radical acceptance. Keep repeating it. Repeat it's meaning. It will make sense to you one day. It is impossible to do it all the time but the more you do it, the better and more peaceful you will fee. Try it!!!! <img src="data:image/gif;base64,R0lGODlhAQABAIAAAAAAAP///yH5BAEAAAAALAAAAAABAAEAAAIBRAA7" class="smilie smilie--sprite smilie--sprite1" alt=":)" title="Smile :)" loading="lazy" data-shortname=":)" /></p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="BusynMember, post: 653312, member: 1550"] Lil, you are not him, he is not you. You were a dutiful daughter who did what your parents expected of you. He is rebellious and unconventional who does not share your values. You SHOULD have dinner without judging his appearance. Who cares what strangers in the next booth think? Lil, if he does not get a job he will pay the consequences, but you didn't raise him not to work and it has nothing to do with you. It is not within your control. Any consequences you dole out or don't chose are within your control. Nothing else. Lil, often even with my girls, who are very talkative, sometimes they are quiet at dinner. So what? We know we are together and they know I love them. It matters if you decide that it matters to you. You can not control how he feels about the dinner. And try just to enjoy the food, talk when you can, and not judge. Even with practice, not judging others is hard. That's often our biggest mistake. We judge. I do it too. I am not reaming you a new one. It is hard not to judge. But when I don't, I am a much happier camper. Radical acceptance. Keep repeating it. Repeat it's meaning. It will make sense to you one day. It is impossible to do it all the time but the more you do it, the better and more peaceful you will fee. Try it!!!! :) [/QUOTE]
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