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Unfeeling - normal or bad person?
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<blockquote data-quote="New Leaf" data-source="post: 676069" data-attributes="member: 19522"><p>Hi Hopeful, on my way out but I wanted to write and let you know, yes, this has happened to me, many times. I do think it is a self protect mode, especially during emotional times like holidays. There is a sense of devastation with this journey we are on. Also, if our d cs have been unkind, hurtful, manipulative, and we are just opening our eyes to the reality of what we have been through, I think it is perfectly normal to feel this. It is akin to a state of shock. When we detach, it is a flood of emotions, it doesn't feel right after all the years of nurturing, then we just kind of slide into enabling without even <em>realizing it.</em></p><p> I think this is a numbing time too, when the chaos and frenzy of dealing with our d cs, and our intense love for them. </p><p>Our <em>heads</em> are numb, and our <em>hearts</em> are hurt, But the <em>heart is ruling over the head</em>.... we are<em> enmeshed</em> in trying anything and everything to help our d cs from the downhill slide they are on. We are sliding right with them, all tangled up with our hurting hearts, not thinking with our heads.....</p><p></p><p>Then BOOM, our heads wake up, and <em>it just doesn't feel right anymore</em>.</p><p>So we figure out, that what we have been doing <em>is not working</em>.</p><p></p><p>Then we battle, head and heart.</p><p></p><p>Head has to win the battle. It is the right thing to do, to let our D cs test their wings. </p><p>To stop the insanity in our homes, our sanctuary, to stop the disrespect.</p><p><em></em></p><p><em>Heart goes numb.</em></p><p><em></em></p><p><em>Protect mode.</em></p><p></p><p>Especially for you, dear. Son has tried everything to try to get you back into enabling him.</p><p>He has been very disrespectful and hurtful, blaming, swearing, tearing at your heartstrings, left and right.</p><p>It is a no wonder you are feeling numb.</p><p>It is another part of the stages of grief I have gone through.</p><p>It will be okay. The feelings will change over time.</p><p>Time heals all wounds.</p><p>It is important to know that what you are feeling is okay.</p><p>It is a process of healing.</p><p></p><p>You will be okay, Hopeful.</p><p>You are not an<em> unfeeling person</em>, you just need a reprieve, a break. </p><p>A time to rebuild and strengthen, to breathe.</p><p></p><p>I am right there with you, holding your hand across cyber space.</p><p>You will be alright. We both will.</p><p></p><p><img src="/community/styles/default/xenforo/smilies/emoticons/hugs.gif" class="smilie" loading="lazy" alt=":hugs:" title="hugs :hugs:" data-shortname=":hugs:" /></p><p></p><p>(((HUGS)))</p><p>leafy</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="New Leaf, post: 676069, member: 19522"] Hi Hopeful, on my way out but I wanted to write and let you know, yes, this has happened to me, many times. I do think it is a self protect mode, especially during emotional times like holidays. There is a sense of devastation with this journey we are on. Also, if our d cs have been unkind, hurtful, manipulative, and we are just opening our eyes to the reality of what we have been through, I think it is perfectly normal to feel this. It is akin to a state of shock. When we detach, it is a flood of emotions, it doesn't feel right after all the years of nurturing, then we just kind of slide into enabling without even [I]realizing it.[/I] I think this is a numbing time too, when the chaos and frenzy of dealing with our d cs, and our intense love for them. Our [I]heads[/I] are numb, and our [I]hearts[/I] are hurt, But the [I]heart is ruling over the head[/I].... we are[I] enmeshed[/I] in trying anything and everything to help our d cs from the downhill slide they are on. We are sliding right with them, all tangled up with our hurting hearts, not thinking with our heads..... Then BOOM, our heads wake up, and [I]it just doesn't feel right anymore[/I]. So we figure out, that what we have been doing [I]is not working[/I]. Then we battle, head and heart. Head has to win the battle. It is the right thing to do, to let our D cs test their wings. To stop the insanity in our homes, our sanctuary, to stop the disrespect. [I] Heart goes numb. Protect mode.[/I] Especially for you, dear. Son has tried everything to try to get you back into enabling him. He has been very disrespectful and hurtful, blaming, swearing, tearing at your heartstrings, left and right. It is a no wonder you are feeling numb. It is another part of the stages of grief I have gone through. It will be okay. The feelings will change over time. Time heals all wounds. It is important to know that what you are feeling is okay. It is a process of healing. You will be okay, Hopeful. You are not an[I] unfeeling person[/I], you just need a reprieve, a break. A time to rebuild and strengthen, to breathe. I am right there with you, holding your hand across cyber space. You will be alright. We both will. :hugs: (((HUGS))) leafy [/QUOTE]
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