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<blockquote data-quote="Nomad" data-source="post: 761527" data-attributes="member: 4152"><p>Holy moly, Busy. Wow. Powerful. And true. Our son has wounds from all that has gone on. Ironically, I do too. As it was often my husband that looked the other way.( But I did at times too)</p><p></p><p>He chose to not think too much about it or too deeply.</p><p></p><p>But…recently with the latest…he did. It was like anvils falling in his head. And it hurts.</p><p></p><p>Just a boatload of stress, lack of respect, entitlement…craziness, insanity….INSANITY. For decades.</p><p></p><p>I can’t speak for others, but I now know that EACH of us in this family were and are BADLY negatively affected. And our sweet son had this most peculiar year from hell (and from seemingly outer space) in high school that I think was at least partially due to the constant drama trauma , stress and insanity.</p><p></p><p>AND when this most recent thing happened…OMG. I realized ALL the effort this far was for ???? My friend with reference to her adopted child with “issues” called her “the bottomless pit.” But I see clearly now…I can NOT fix this. No matter how much I hurt, no matter how many family members hurt, no matter how many sacrifices, no matter how much money, no matter how many professionals, no matter how much analysis…forgiveness, patience, love, assistance, gifts, extras, damage…and probably prayers.</p><p></p><p>AND our excessive efforts likely made things worse. Worse!!!!!</p><p></p><p>99 percent of everything , according to her, that goes wrong in her life is due to US. Occasionally it’s some oddball other person…a teacher, a friend, a mental health facility, a stranger. It’s NEVER her fault even if it is glaringly obvious. Never. It’s disturbing.</p><p></p><p>All that is left is her personal effort (? Have never seen this?) and a miracle from God. These things are out of my control.</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="Nomad, post: 761527, member: 4152"] Holy moly, Busy. Wow. Powerful. And true. Our son has wounds from all that has gone on. Ironically, I do too. As it was often my husband that looked the other way.( But I did at times too) He chose to not think too much about it or too deeply. But…recently with the latest…he did. It was like anvils falling in his head. And it hurts. Just a boatload of stress, lack of respect, entitlement…craziness, insanity….INSANITY. For decades. I can’t speak for others, but I now know that EACH of us in this family were and are BADLY negatively affected. And our sweet son had this most peculiar year from hell (and from seemingly outer space) in high school that I think was at least partially due to the constant drama trauma , stress and insanity. AND when this most recent thing happened…OMG. I realized ALL the effort this far was for ???? My friend with reference to her adopted child with “issues” called her “the bottomless pit.” But I see clearly now…I can NOT fix this. No matter how much I hurt, no matter how many family members hurt, no matter how many sacrifices, no matter how much money, no matter how many professionals, no matter how much analysis…forgiveness, patience, love, assistance, gifts, extras, damage…and probably prayers. AND our excessive efforts likely made things worse. Worse!!!!! 99 percent of everything , according to her, that goes wrong in her life is due to US. Occasionally it’s some oddball other person…a teacher, a friend, a mental health facility, a stranger. It’s NEVER her fault even if it is glaringly obvious. Never. It’s disturbing. All that is left is her personal effort (? Have never seen this?) and a miracle from God. These things are out of my control. [/QUOTE]
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