Discussion in 'The Watercooler' started by Hound dog, Jun 26, 2008.

  1. Hound dog

    Hound dog Nana's are Beautiful

    June is a bad month for me.

    Kayla turned 8 on June 5th. Alex turned 7 on June 15th.

    It's been just about 6 yrs since stepgfg took them away.

    Most of the time I'm ok with it now. There are moments when it will hit me and I'll get a sharp pain in my heart. But most of the time life has simply gone on. But the month of June is rough. Not as bad as those first couple of years. (thankfully) But I've as yet to get through the month of June without them on my mind almost constantly.

    Stepgfg has been found. She is alive as she is somewhat active on the internet, which I am able to follow. I don't know if Kayla and Alex are in her custody. (I know they weren't for a while) But I do know she has had another child. She married the boyfriend. Which doesn't give me encouragement the situation has changed much.

    There will be no reaching out to stepgfg. She knows how to get in touch if she wanted. And there is a new level of peace knowing she is alive, which I didn't know for a long time. I love her, and I miss her. But she is an adult making her own choices.

    But even with that I grieve the loss of my two oldest granchildren whom I love dearly. I miss them so much. And I hope they are safe and happy and well loved where they are.

    My heart aches that Darrin and Aubrey don't know who Kayla and Alex are and vice versa. All four grandchildren have similar personailties. I have no doubt they'd have enjoyed each other. Such an awful shame Kayla and Alex were denied the love and security of the only family they have outside of stepgfg and her bio Mom.

    Kayla and Alex aren't spoken about in our home. Their photographs are safely tucked away in my trunk of keepsakes. The memory of their loss is too painful for my kids, even now as adults to deal with.

    But here I can say what I want to say.

    Happy Birthday Kayla and Alex. Nana loves you.
  2. susiestar

    susiestar Roll With It

    Oh, honey, I am so sorry. I hope that your grandbabies are safe, happy and loved wherever they are. I pray that you are able to learn about them and even get to know them again at some point. I wish and pray that they know that they are loved by you, no matter where they are or what has happened in their lives.

    I will keep them in my prayers, and you as well.

    Gentle hugs,

  3. WhymeMom?

    WhymeMom? No real answers to life..

    Wishing your grandchildren happy birthdays and hope they can someday realize how much their Nana loves them......
  4. Wiped Out

    Wiped Out Well-Known Member Staff Member

    I'm sorry for the pain in your heart. I hope and pray they are safe and that someday you will get a chance to see them again.
  5. Abbey

    Abbey Spork Queen

    Awww, Lisa. You made me cry. :( I am sure your heart is breaking.

    I wish I had words of wisdom but I don't.

  6. hearts and roses

    hearts and roses Mind Reader

    {{{Lisa}}} I'm so sorry for the pain in your heart. Sending gentle hugs~
  7. crazymama30

    crazymama30 Active Member

    Oh, this has to be a horrible month for you. It just sounds awful. Hang in there, and love on Darin and Aubrey. Isn't your easy child pregnant again? How is she doing?
  8. Lothlorien

    Lothlorien Active Member Staff Member

    I'm getting all teary eyed myself. If she doesn't have custody, perhaps you can find out who does. If they are in the foster system, they would have likely contacted you, right? If not, then maybe you can get in touch with the foster mom and see them.
  9. KTMom91

    KTMom91 Well-Known Member

    Oh, Lisa...sending hugs and hope that your grandbabies will somehow find their way back to you.
  10. Shari

    Shari IsItFridayYet?

    Sending hugs for your heart and prayers for Kayla and Alex that someday, they may chose their own destiny.
  11. Jungleland

    Jungleland Welcome to my jungle!

    Oh honey {{{{{{BIG HUGS}}}}}}!!!!!!!

    My mommy/grandma heart hurts for you! My 20 yo son is engaged to a gal who has a 4 yo from another relationship. We have come to love R as our Grandson, he calls us Grammy and Grampy. I don't get to see him much but I know I'd be heartbroken not to be able to see him ever again.

    I am so sorry June is such a hard month for you. Prayers being said that someday they will be back in your life.

    Hugs and love,
  12. Hound dog

    Hound dog Nana's are Beautiful

    Thank you everyone.

    I'll be better once July rolls around in a few days. Life will go on as it always does.

    Just hurts not to be able to aknowledge them in their birthday month because it causes too much pain for the kids. It's nice to be able to do it here with my board family and be understood.

  13. Steely

    Steely Active Member

    Sending many, many hugs.:(
  14. mrscatinthehat

    mrscatinthehat Seussical

    Hugs going out your way.

  15. amazeofgrace

    amazeofgrace New Member

    <<<hugs AND PRAYERS>> for your hurting Grandma heart
  16. flutterbee

    flutterbee Guest

    Happy Birthday, Kayla and Alex.

    (((((hugs))))), Lisa.
  17. TerryJ2

    TerryJ2 Well-Known Member

    Lisa, I, too, hope they are safe and well cared for. It must be like a stone in your heart that you carry around.
    I remember you telling us that you found difficult child and she was active on the Internet. So close and yet ...

    Here's hoping that the next few days fly by and July lifts your spirits and enriches your life.