June is a bad month for me. Kayla turned 8 on June 5th. Alex turned 7 on June 15th. It's been just about 6 yrs since stepgfg took them away. Most of the time I'm ok with it now. There are moments when it will hit me and I'll get a sharp pain in my heart. But most of the time life has simply gone on. But the month of June is rough. Not as bad as those first couple of years. (thankfully) But I've as yet to get through the month of June without them on my mind almost constantly. Stepgfg has been found. She is alive as she is somewhat active on the internet, which I am able to follow. I don't know if Kayla and Alex are in her custody. (I know they weren't for a while) But I do know she has had another child. She married the boyfriend. Which doesn't give me encouragement the situation has changed much. There will be no reaching out to stepgfg. She knows how to get in touch if she wanted. And there is a new level of peace knowing she is alive, which I didn't know for a long time. I love her, and I miss her. But she is an adult making her own choices. But even with that I grieve the loss of my two oldest granchildren whom I love dearly. I miss them so much. And I hope they are safe and happy and well loved where they are. My heart aches that Darrin and Aubrey don't know who Kayla and Alex are and vice versa. All four grandchildren have similar personailties. I have no doubt they'd have enjoyed each other. Such an awful shame Kayla and Alex were denied the love and security of the only family they have outside of stepgfg and her bio Mom. Kayla and Alex aren't spoken about in our home. Their photographs are safely tucked away in my trunk of keepsakes. The memory of their loss is too painful for my kids, even now as adults to deal with. But here I can say what I want to say. Happy Birthday Kayla and Alex. Nana loves you.