Up, Down, All over the place!

Discussion in 'General Parenting' started by Wiped Out, Nov 29, 2010.

  1. Wiped Out

    Wiped Out Well-Known Member Staff Member

    difficult child is such an interesting case and so all over the map. Last Wednesday we received a phone call from his alternative school-very bad afternoon (apparently someone who isn't usually in the room-another kid-set difficult child off.). He ended up shoving an aide, pushing his teacher, and kicking the director.

    Then this morning we received a note from his teacher at his regular school and he had a rough morning becoming fixated on things, unable to let go, ended up swearing and spitting.

    Then this afternoon I get this great note from his therapist:

    Just a quick update to let you know a few things:
    (the first two were just reminders about things)

    3.) difficult child has done really well following directions, sharing the agenda with me, being safe, staying in the designated space (waiting room or therapy space), and choosing alternative phrases/questions when it is pointed out that what he is saying is not very appropriate. His last two sessions have been great and he has demonstrated much flexibility and patience during our interactions. I really think the new behavioral system is supportive to these changes!
    4.) I notice that insisting he do something (follow a direction, for example) seems to increase his frustration/resistance, yet stating an expectation, offering choices around him completing it, and allowing time for him to do so, has contributed to him following through.
    I have noticed some really positive changes the past few weeks!

    That's my boy-such a contradiction! I have noticed some interesting improvements recently. He is much nicer with me and tells me he loves me a lot (something I hardly ever get). Yesterday, he actually apologized, on his own, to me for being so rude when I had taken him to the health club-he didn't even argue about the consequence or try to get out of it!! Then, of course, he has some major setbacks. Also his anxiety seems like it is at an all time high. He really wants husband or me with him 24/7 and that means in the same room with him-if not he will call us constantly.

    So hard to tell what is actual progress (but I am enjoying the good moments I get).
  2. gcvmom

    gcvmom Here we go again!

    Well it sounds like he's taking to the new behavioral system and doing very well within the structured and familiar environment. And when someone or something unfamiliar is presented, his anxiety goes up and he lashes out. So the old limbic system is still very much unbuffered (as evidenced by the lashing out and his high anxiety) by the rest of his brain, I'm guessing, and he still needs support for this. At least he CAN do well in the right environment. It's just that he's still very fragile and things are easily disrupted. Keep your psychiatrist informed of your observations -- he may be able to tweak the medications a little more to help.
  3. Wiped Out

    Wiped Out Well-Known Member Staff Member

    Gvcmom-I really like th way you explained it-makes a lot of sense. I will definitely keep the psychiatrist updated.
  4. timer lady

    timer lady Queen of Hearts

    Sharon, I love hearing that difficult child is apologizing & telling you he loves you with no outside cues. That's a tremendous step for him. I remember wm at that age; being all over the place ~ gotta give raging hormones some role in this someplace. wm, at the tender age of 16, is finally beginning to stop & think. Finally beginning to see the reality of his actions & the consequences. Good & bad.

    It's exciting to see the new system working for difficult child. I'm keeping my body in knots that this continues for the long run & maybe just maybe you might see some stability in your son.

  5. Sharon,
    Boy, that 4) has good stuff - so true!

    Tough things to deal with, and yet how encouraging to hear there are improvements! little victories! The hard stuff can cloud out the small, gradual changes, but it's a good reminder to take heart - healing can and is happening! In the midst of our tough stuff - I have noticed improvements. Often I do not acknowledge them because I just think it's the calm before the storm, but I need to focus on the positive.

    Glad to hear he had a good session.