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<blockquote data-quote="Albatross" data-source="post: 703532" data-attributes="member: 17720"><p>Thank you so much for your thoughts, wise ones.</p><p></p><p></p><p>SS, I only know what he told me, which is that he found a spot in the woods where he camps alone. He can't/won't stay in shelters because he says there is a lot of theft. He also gets kicked out for drinking.</p><p></p><p>SWOT and 1905, I am sure he knows where to get a coat and might even have one, but he didn't have one that night. He has such terrible judgment most of the time, but especially after he has been drinking.</p><p></p><p>Riverfox, this has happened many times before. He has gotten a great deal of support from multiple stays in rehabs, halfway houses, etc., but he treats them as "3 hots and a cot" and walks away as soon as he is back on his feet. He was plugged into tremendous support at one of the shelters where he is now but walked away from it.</p><p></p><p></p><p>Cedar, it is so nice to "see" you. Thank you for your thoughts.</p><p></p><p>In my paragraph above, I started to go on a bit of a tirade about the litany of support he has gotten, then stopped because it was just churning up resentment.</p><p></p><p>I will likely resent whatever help I give him right now, Cedar. I do not see any of the things I would need to see to feel he is making progress.</p><p></p><p>But I am just so worried.</p><p></p><p></p><p></p><p></p><p></p><p></p><p>Yes, this is the crux of it. I always lose sight of that when he needs help. I get caught up in the maelstrom of what is best for him, which of course has no answer because I can't control that outcome.</p><p></p><p>Yes, it would ease my mind to know he is warm.</p><p></p><p></p><p></p><p>Amen, Pasa. But the holidays do at least provide a buffer when we step in. I like the idea of framing this as a gift.</p><p></p><p>I have decided to HELP him get a ticket as his Christmas gift. I told him I will pay half, once he proves he has worked and earned the other half.</p><p></p><p>That way he has a horse in the race too, and the control will be back in his hands instead of mine.</p><p></p><p>He can either get to a warmer climate or get drunk, but he knows that if he makes the first choice I will help him.</p><p></p><p>I am hoping he will make the first choice. I told him I know he can do it.</p><p></p><p>In the meantime I will once again make sure he knows about resources for shelter, food, etc.</p><p></p><p>Thank you again for grounding me and helping me see this more clearly.</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="Albatross, post: 703532, member: 17720"] Thank you so much for your thoughts, wise ones. SS, I only know what he told me, which is that he found a spot in the woods where he camps alone. He can't/won't stay in shelters because he says there is a lot of theft. He also gets kicked out for drinking. SWOT and 1905, I am sure he knows where to get a coat and might even have one, but he didn't have one that night. He has such terrible judgment most of the time, but especially after he has been drinking. Riverfox, this has happened many times before. He has gotten a great deal of support from multiple stays in rehabs, halfway houses, etc., but he treats them as "3 hots and a cot" and walks away as soon as he is back on his feet. He was plugged into tremendous support at one of the shelters where he is now but walked away from it. Cedar, it is so nice to "see" you. Thank you for your thoughts. In my paragraph above, I started to go on a bit of a tirade about the litany of support he has gotten, then stopped because it was just churning up resentment. I will likely resent whatever help I give him right now, Cedar. I do not see any of the things I would need to see to feel he is making progress. But I am just so worried. Yes, this is the crux of it. I always lose sight of that when he needs help. I get caught up in the maelstrom of what is best for him, which of course has no answer because I can't control that outcome. Yes, it would ease my mind to know he is warm. Amen, Pasa. But the holidays do at least provide a buffer when we step in. I like the idea of framing this as a gift. I have decided to HELP him get a ticket as his Christmas gift. I told him I will pay half, once he proves he has worked and earned the other half. That way he has a horse in the race too, and the control will be back in his hands instead of mine. He can either get to a warmer climate or get drunk, but he knows that if he makes the first choice I will help him. I am hoping he will make the first choice. I told him I know he can do it. In the meantime I will once again make sure he knows about resources for shelter, food, etc. Thank you again for grounding me and helping me see this more clearly. [/QUOTE]
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