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<blockquote data-quote="Albatross" data-source="post: 714234" data-attributes="member: 17720"><p>Thank you so much for your replies. It is such a blessing to know that I am not alone, that there are other moms who understand the difficult choices these difficult children place on us. Thank you, too, for reminding me that each go-round is an opportunity to try again, to do the best we can at the time.</p><p></p><p>Exactly, Ready. That voice is always there. Having you validate it, helping me see that it always will be there, helps me gain some perspective.</p><p></p><p>Thank you for sharing your story, Tanya. That too helps me gain some perspective. It's so easy for me to magnify my role. My involvement or lack of involvement is not the problem, it's the bad choices.</p><p></p><p></p><p>Yes, this is where I am too, Tanya. His emails have been frantic and blatantly manipulative efforts to get us to do what he wants (in this case, to get him a bike and to somehow (?!?!?) get him out of urine drug tests). Both big N-O's, obviously, but it's just SO exhausting...Some honest conversation between two adults would sure be a nice change...</p><p></p><p>Thank you, RN. That is great comfort, and I hope you are right. I hope, too, that as his head clears he will (re)learn better and more honest ways of interacting with people than the guilt trips, pity plays, and attempts to horrify that he seems to rely on.</p><p>This was the reading in Al-Anon yesterday:</p><p>"[My adult child] cannot be the source of my happiness or sorrow. The gift of life is personally mine--as his life belongs to him--to enjoy or destroy, as each of us wishes...I am not his guide, master or keeper. We are individuals and must each find our lonely way. My sources of comfort and strength he refuses to share; I have learned through bitter experience that it is reckless to offer them."</p><p>Thanks again, ladies. You guys are great <img src="/community/styles/default/xenforo/smilies/tickled_pink.png" class="smilie" loading="lazy" alt=":tickled_pink:" title="tickled_pink :tickled_pink:" data-shortname=":tickled_pink:" /><img src="/community/styles/default/xenforo/smilies/love_heart.png" class="smilie" loading="lazy" alt=":love_heart:" title="love_heart :love_heart:" data-shortname=":love_heart:" /></p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="Albatross, post: 714234, member: 17720"] Thank you so much for your replies. It is such a blessing to know that I am not alone, that there are other moms who understand the difficult choices these difficult children place on us. Thank you, too, for reminding me that each go-round is an opportunity to try again, to do the best we can at the time. Exactly, Ready. That voice is always there. Having you validate it, helping me see that it always will be there, helps me gain some perspective. Thank you for sharing your story, Tanya. That too helps me gain some perspective. It's so easy for me to magnify my role. My involvement or lack of involvement is not the problem, it's the bad choices. Yes, this is where I am too, Tanya. His emails have been frantic and blatantly manipulative efforts to get us to do what he wants (in this case, to get him a bike and to somehow (?!?!?) get him out of urine drug tests). Both big N-O's, obviously, but it's just SO exhausting...Some honest conversation between two adults would sure be a nice change... Thank you, RN. That is great comfort, and I hope you are right. I hope, too, that as his head clears he will (re)learn better and more honest ways of interacting with people than the guilt trips, pity plays, and attempts to horrify that he seems to rely on. This was the reading in Al-Anon yesterday: "[My adult child] cannot be the source of my happiness or sorrow. The gift of life is personally mine--as his life belongs to him--to enjoy or destroy, as each of us wishes...I am not his guide, master or keeper. We are individuals and must each find our lonely way. My sources of comfort and strength he refuses to share; I have learned through bitter experience that it is reckless to offer them." Thanks again, ladies. You guys are great :tickled_pink::love_heart: [/QUOTE]
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