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General Parenting
UPDATE- difficult child is leaving today~
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<blockquote data-quote="hearts and roses" data-source="post: 75537" data-attributes="member: 2211"><p>Thank you thank you thank you all so very much. I thought I would be a mess at the ferry with all of difficult child's stuff and her and her dad and H...ugh, I wasn't looking forward to being a mess, crying all over the place.</p><p></p><p>But, as we were making the 1.5 hour drive down to the ferry, following our counseling appointment, I was thinking about me at 17. Well, ahem. When I was 17, I was mixed up with a bad crowd and failing all my classes - I was a Junior in HS. One evening, my mom said she was withdrawing me from all my classes and signing me out of school! She made good and came to school with me the next day, walked me from class to class and had all my teachers sign the withdrawal card, right in front of all my classmates! The very next day she packed up all my stuff and drove me 6 hours to my sister's house (my sister was 32 then with two small boys) in PA, where I lived for 4 months. </p><p></p><p>When I returned an old friend talked me into going back to school. I had no other prospects and I was mortified to face all those kids, but I did it. I doubled up 11th and 12th grade and wound up graduating with my class.</p><p></p><p>I also considered the fact that if difficult child had been more on the ball, she would have went away to college and would have left 2 weeks ago! So, although the direct circumstances of her leaving are not fantastic, they aren't God awful and in fact, I feel much MUCH better about it. I am still worried about her allergies and taking her medications, but I am at peace with this decision. </p><p></p><p>Before we left, this afternoon while we were rushing to get ready in time, difficult child was crying and told me she didn't think she wanted to go. She told me she was scared to go. It was so hard for me, but I told her she needed to go, that this was a turning point for her, that she's always wanted to see what living with her dad would be like and now she needs to check it out, that this will be an opportunity for her to do a little soul searching and perhaps figure out what her next steps will be, wether at dad's or here with H and me. I told we are following through with this because ALL of her parents have her best interests at heart and we all love her with all of our hearts and want her to be happy with whatever choices she makes. She cried, I told her I didn't want her to leave me, but that I think she should; that she needs a break and that I do too. She shook her head and went inside. I did NOT fall apart. I cried intermittently on the drive and especially when I said goodbye to her and hugged her so tight I thought I'd pop a lung, but it was a good thing. And exh was so good, I hugged him too and he said he was more worried about me than difficult child...lol. I told him to be tough, but tender as well. And to look for signs of her feeling isolated - it's important that she doesn't feel isolated as she tends to hurt herself at times like that. </p><p></p><p>So now we will see. Thanks again.</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="hearts and roses, post: 75537, member: 2211"] Thank you thank you thank you all so very much. I thought I would be a mess at the ferry with all of difficult child's stuff and her and her dad and H...ugh, I wasn't looking forward to being a mess, crying all over the place. But, as we were making the 1.5 hour drive down to the ferry, following our counseling appointment, I was thinking about me at 17. Well, ahem. When I was 17, I was mixed up with a bad crowd and failing all my classes - I was a Junior in HS. One evening, my mom said she was withdrawing me from all my classes and signing me out of school! She made good and came to school with me the next day, walked me from class to class and had all my teachers sign the withdrawal card, right in front of all my classmates! The very next day she packed up all my stuff and drove me 6 hours to my sister's house (my sister was 32 then with two small boys) in PA, where I lived for 4 months. When I returned an old friend talked me into going back to school. I had no other prospects and I was mortified to face all those kids, but I did it. I doubled up 11th and 12th grade and wound up graduating with my class. I also considered the fact that if difficult child had been more on the ball, she would have went away to college and would have left 2 weeks ago! So, although the direct circumstances of her leaving are not fantastic, they aren't God awful and in fact, I feel much MUCH better about it. I am still worried about her allergies and taking her medications, but I am at peace with this decision. Before we left, this afternoon while we were rushing to get ready in time, difficult child was crying and told me she didn't think she wanted to go. She told me she was scared to go. It was so hard for me, but I told her she needed to go, that this was a turning point for her, that she's always wanted to see what living with her dad would be like and now she needs to check it out, that this will be an opportunity for her to do a little soul searching and perhaps figure out what her next steps will be, wether at dad's or here with H and me. I told we are following through with this because ALL of her parents have her best interests at heart and we all love her with all of our hearts and want her to be happy with whatever choices she makes. She cried, I told her I didn't want her to leave me, but that I think she should; that she needs a break and that I do too. She shook her head and went inside. I did NOT fall apart. I cried intermittently on the drive and especially when I said goodbye to her and hugged her so tight I thought I'd pop a lung, but it was a good thing. And exh was so good, I hugged him too and he said he was more worried about me than difficult child...lol. I told him to be tough, but tender as well. And to look for signs of her feeling isolated - it's important that she doesn't feel isolated as she tends to hurt herself at times like that. So now we will see. Thanks again. [/QUOTE]
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UPDATE- difficult child is leaving today~
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