To catch everyone up: Aug 06, difficult child told lies so that difficult child-mother in law would take him in. difficult child continued to be a difficult child and almost destroyed mother in law/father in law's marriage. They wanted us to take him back in Dec 06 - we refused. Said you wanted him for the school year - you have him. July 07, difficult child moved back in. He didn't like our impossible rules (maintain a C- average to have a life). At the end of Oct 07 difficult child declared that he was old enough to run his own life. He was an adult. We decided to agree with him. Our pocketbook was closed to him. He could run his own life. With in a week he was living with his 15yr old girlfriend. (At least she's 16 now). The beginning of April difficult child go kicked out of school. He couldn't get back in until a parent came to help him get back in. husband decided to be nice. It lasted for 2 days before he was kicked out of school until next year. husband won't rescue him this time. So, here he is, 17, living with his girlfriend. Her parents are difficult children too. They have three different houses in three different counties and never stay at the same place for more than a week. Most of the time difficult child and his girlfriend live alone in this house. Anyways, he has no education, no job, no desire to get a job, he's started smoking.... I have no idea what is going to happen to him. And husband says he is NOT moving back home if girlfriend kicks him out. Most of the time, I do pretty good being detached. I'm enjoying my life with the other two kids. We laugh in our house now. There are times that difficult child is on the back burner of my mind. But, there are days that I just want to cry because my heart is broken over difficult child. Someone here once said "The stakes are so high with our difficult children that whether or not they like or love us is beside the point"... that always kept me trying. But now, I have to change my thought patterns. I can't help difficult child. He refuses help. He refuses to help himself. And still my heart breaks because I love him so.