So, difficult child lets me know that she needs a ride to take the bartending exam on Friday. Okay, no problem. She sends me a different address to pick her up at and tells me the area, but not the city. So, I enter the address into my GPS and it tells me that the address doesn't exist. I told her I would get in the area and call her back to find her. So, I get in the area, and I call. And call. And call. No answer. It occurs to me that I may have put the wrong city in for the address and maybe that is why it couldn't find it. So I figured it out and the location pops up and I go there to get difficult child. I pull up and it is a house that is clearly being worked on (this is what she asys her job is - fixing houses). I see one pick up truck in the driveway. I continue to call difficult child and no answer. I sit there wondering what in the world I do. Do I risk going up to the door? I already left work early to come and do this. I wasn't leaving without difficult child. So I go up to the door and a middle aged man answers. I ask if difficult child is there and he claims he doesn't know anyone by that name. I look confused and turn around to leave and he asks me again who I was looking for. This time I said her first and middle name because I know she likes to go by her middle name and a lightbulb goes off and he is like - "oh, yeah, I know her! She is downstairs asleep but you are more than welcome to try to get her up". Then he wants to know what her story is. What my story is. I have no idea the lies she may have told to have a place to stay so I just say I am a friend there to pick her up. Ugh. So I go downstairs and shake her awake. She jumps up and we get in the car. She, of course, is a huge "B". Always is when she first wakes up or when she has had no sleep. I wanted to immediately throw her out of the car, but I bite my tongue and figure I will just get her through this test and then I am done. I continually tell her that she cannot treat people like garbage and then expect them to stay in her life. She can't seem to grasp this concept. I hear her on the phone with her "friends" and I cringe and all I can think to myself is I would never put up with that from someone I was not related to! I would call her a really bad name and hang up. It is so obvious why she keeps running out of places to stay. She still has that entitlement attitude as well. I told her I was blocking the internet on her phone (she has been accessing it and building charges so the phone company added a plan that she claimed she would pay for but she is already almost maxed on the amount of internet time that comes with the plan! I told her I will not add the 30 dollar plan in hopes that she would pay it - not taking the chance as I know I will never see the money.). She start throwing a little tantrum saying she has a "smart phone" for nothing. I told her to go get her own plan!!! As soon as this contract expires next October, I am not renewing it. So, we get to the school and by then she has calmed down and apologized. I told her that her apologies mean nothing when she treats me the same way after apologizing! She goes in to take her test and I am sitting there shaking my head. I knew it was going to be a waste of time. I knew she was up all night and was in no condition to take the test. Which is upsetting because she knew she had the test to take that day. She came out an hour later with a smirk on her face so I thought she passed!! No, they gave her the test to take home and use as a study guide because she was having difficulty on one portion!!!!! (I looked in her book and there were notes in every chapter except the last two. Tells me someone was wrong when they said she was there every day. I guarantee she missed that last class.). I mean, this is ridiculous. I don't know what I was thinking. She made reference that she was doing the school I wanted her to do. She has no ownership in this. So we leave and I ask her if she was going back to the house that I picked her up at and she tried calling other people and no one was answering (can you blame them??). I see the depression and yet there is nothing I can do. She claims she is depressed because of her dog. I told her it is not just her dog - it is her whole life right now! How could a person not be depressed living that way?? I told her there is help out there - that she could get her head right and they would help her get on her feet, help her get a job, etc. She said you are talking about rehab - I said yes!!!! She just said I love you mom, grabbed her stuff and went back in to the house. Bawled my eyes out all the way home. I have never felt so helpless in all my life. I came home and just curled up with my husband crying. I told him that I have no idea who that man was - sure, he looked normal, but what does that mean?? He could rape her and kill her and I had to drop her off and drive away. That was the hardest thing I have ever had to do. How can any parent do this??? I want her to get help SO bad and nothing I say seems to make any difference with her whatsoever. She is my first born. My only daughter. I love her so so very much and yet, I feel that seeing her and knowing more about her life as it is right now makes me so depressed that I don't think it is healthy for me at all. I am watching the train coming and there is nothing I can do about it.