Update of sorts

Discussion in 'Substance Abuse' started by cmfout, Jan 19, 2011.

  1. cmfout

    cmfout Guest

    The last time I posted was when difficult child had a major meltdown and everything was in chaos.
    Since then he's willingly submitted to weekly drug tests. My brother is kind enough to come "supervise" the collection of a sample to be tested. So far, he's cleaned up his act drug wise. The only thing, thankfully, that he's tested positive for is pot. He admits to smoking cigarettes. We're working on quitting together.
    His attitudes are better for the most part but he's still argumentative, negative, and sometimes explosive but he's no longer being physically abusive.
    The biggest problem we're having now is that he's being extremely demanding. He wants/needs something, it better be NOW or he'll become the most negative, complaining, whining kid that I've ever known! Today is a good example.
    A friend told difficult child that he could have their old motor scooter to mess around with since his behavior has improved so much. difficult child's impatient, expecting me to get ahold of this friend and get it here NOW. He seems to have no concept that this person is doing him a favor and that being impatient and demanding won't get him the scooter any faster. He keeps saying he's getting "screwed over" by having to wait.
    How do all of you handle this? I'm thinking of just not letting him have the scooter but I'm not sure since it was meant as a reward for staying out of trouble.
  2. susiestar

    susiestar Roll With It

    Go ahead and read the book "Parenting Your Teen with Love and Logic". It is amazing and has LOTS of ways to handle stuff liek this and they WORK. You can get the book at bookstores, online or at the L&L website - www.loveandlogic.com .
  3. exhausted

    exhausted Active Member

    Cathy, My daughter has the same tendency to be demanding and wanting things now. One thing that works (sometimes-not always) is to put it in her court. I say things like, " It sounds like you really want that __________. How are you going to get it?" " I cant help you until ____________. How will you help yourself wait until then?" I think you can empathize with him by saying," I know your excited about the scooter and its hard to wait." I wouldn't give in though. They can be so demanding and in your face it is easy to give in-when we do ,we teach them that being demanding is ok.
  4. cmfout

    cmfout Guest

    Thank you both for the replies. I'll definitely check out that book!
    difficult child finally figured out that I can tune him out and ignore the demands. He got hold of the guy that had it and worked out a trade - work for the scooter to be delivered. He's been down there the last 2 hours shoveling horse stalls to earn the gas and time to get it brought here. I'm pretty proud of him for finally taking the initiative and working out a way to get what he wanted on his own. Maybe, just maybe, he's growing up a little.
  5. DDD

    DDD Well-Known Member

    Sounds like progress to me. We all have to take joy is "baby steps" taken by our difficult child's. I'm rootin' for him..and for you. DDD