Update of Sorts

Discussion in 'Parent Emeritus' started by Hound dog, Nov 11, 2011.

  1. Hound dog

    Hound dog Nana's are Beautiful

    Not really much of an update.

    Haven't heard a peep out of katie in 3 wks. I was wondering, sort of expecting, to hear from her yesterday as today was Evan's IEP meeting and I was her planned transport. Nothing though, which is odd and out of character. I figured if we were going to hear from her, that would be it.

    easy child did a drive by one day I think last week or maybe it was 2 wks ago. Oh, probably 2 wks now because it was the day I went to the lawyer the first time, we needed her address and apt number. The blinds were up in the livingroom. Red Flag. Katie never ever keeps the blinds up unless she's expecting a ride, sometimes not then. She'll do it when expecting a ride so she can scoot out the door before you have a chance to get outside. I pointed the red flag out to easy child. She shrugged and said you could see the couch. Well, yeah. But like I told her, it's not like katie has the means to move anything large out of the apartment. And that was at the end of the month, rent wasn't due yet. So manager would not even know.

    The apartment gave off an "empty" vibe. Don't ask me to explain, it just did. I shrugged it off thinking well you can't tell a whole lot looking through windows in a parking lot.

    I pass the complex taking Travis back and forth to school. Due to the season, I can see her apartment if I try from the main road. Those blinds haven't moved.

    Last week, easy child and I were doing our shopping and she decided to drop off the goodwill books she'd gotten for kayla. She'd planned to give them to her at the party. So we park in front of the apartment. Now this is a weekend, last weekend. Blinds are still up. It's a beautiful day. Kids are not outside playing. Darrin goes knocks on the door (we figure the kids would spot him and she'd have to open it). He knocks and knocks. No kid reaction. No one came to the door.

    Katie never walks anywhere unless she absolutely has no choice...........which means she never walks anywhere.

    Those blinds to me are like a sign. Ok, it may sound stupid to some, but I know this kid. She will not leave her blinds open, let alone pulled halfway up the window like that. They hide away when indoors, the last thing they want is for someone to see IN. Know what I mean??

    There are two choices if she is not still there. She's been arrested, although I highly doubt it, I just don't have that much faith in the system. Or she's run.

    I've not even attempted to contact her except the time easy child wanted to drop off the books. I don't plan to call the schools or anything else. If she's run, she's run. If not, I'm still not getting pulled into her crud anymore.

    In a way, it would be nice to know. Holidays are coming up and I'd like to know if I should buy for kayla alex and evan. If they're not here there is little point in putting out the cash.

    Oh, wait. I do have a way of knowing. Turns out Alex is in easy child's husband's little sister's class at school. She can tell us if Alex moved away. easy child plans to ask her sunday. Sorry I just remembered that. I guess there are some advantages to being in a small town.

    I've not heard anything from the police. No clue what that means.

    So that's the update, such as it is. bleh
  2. donna723

    donna723 Well-Known Member

    Well, Lisa, that just stinks! Is there a chance that they got kicked out of the apartment?
  3. PatriotsGirl

    PatriotsGirl Guest

    Sounds like she ran. Those poor, poor kids. My heart breaks for the little ones. :(
  4. Steely

    Steely Active Member

    :( :( sad.......
  5. HaoZi

    HaoZi Guest

    Wow. I know Kayla memorized your phone number, but might not have access. With people going to cells over landlines, I wonder if she would even know how (or if she could) place a collect call if she needed you.
    I'd go with not buying unless Katie gets in touch with you.
  6. donna723

    donna723 Well-Known Member

    That's what I'm hoping, that Kayla remembers your phone number and will contact you on her own. Those poor kids!
  7. Hound dog

    Hound dog Nana's are Beautiful

    As far as I know, kayla doesn't know my phone number, unless she memorized it when katie had her call. And soon, due to expenses, I probably won't have a land line phone anymore. Kayla has never called my cell. Of course she's smart enough to get the number off her mom's if katie ever bothered to put my new cell number into her phone.

    But she does know my name and there is only 1 me in this town, I wouldn't be very hard to find. And if sister in law's little sister is in the same class as Alex, he would know the last name of easy child......even if he didn't know how to spell it. Their family is the only one's in town with that last name too. Again, not too hard, and easy child is listed in the book.

    I refuse to message her or call her because, well it's based on principal. The family was right in speaking up to protect those kids. If she can't handle that well then we're going to have major issues getting along, so it's better if she's not around I guess. Not for the kids, but for the drama crud.

    And well, I've always smoothed it over. Not this time. This time she can worry and stew and try to guess if and what we're up too. And if it makes her a tad more nuts.....well then maybe that will push things along with cps, who knows.

    I will never understand why children have to suffer like that, though. Never.
  8. DaisyFace

    DaisyFace Love me...Love me not

    Well, that just stinks...

    I hope those kids are okay.
  9. DammitJanet

    DammitJanet Well-Known Member Staff Member

    Lisa, when you cut off your phone, make sure you do leave your phone as a number is forwarded to your cell. Or to easy child's number. Not just cut off with no forwarding number. It wont last forever but at least it will for a time.

    even though you dont want to do it...I would call the schools to see if the kids are there. If they are still there, Maybe you could ask the guidance counselor to bring Kayla in privately and talk to her and tell her that she is giving her your private cell to keep in a safe place not to be given to her mother or father just in case she ever needs it in an emergency. Like on a small business card to keep in a book or something. Maybe Kayla would be smart enough to write it down inside a shoe or the binding of a book she always takes with her...something. The school can also keep it to send with the school records and send a message along with the kids school records to remind Kayla privately. The guidance counselor can also tell her how to make a call to you with a dollar because you cant accept a collect call on a cell but most pay phones will let you make any long distance calls for about 30 minutes for a dollar now.
  10. lovemysons

    lovemysons Well-Known Member

    Thinking of you and hoping that "no news is good news".
    Also hoping you find a way to see if the kids are alright.

  11. cubsgirl

    cubsgirl Well-Known Member

    I hope the kids are ok. I think finding out if Alex is still in the school is a good idea - just so you have some idea. Sometimes the not knowing if the worst.
  12. Hound dog

    Hound dog Nana's are Beautiful

    easy child wanted to try to drop off kayla's books again today. Same routine as before, Darrin took them to the door.

    Now it's lovely outside. It's a saturday. Blinds are in the exact same position. The apartment still has that empty feel to it. (we parked right in front of it.)

    IF someone was there, there is no way kayla Alex or Evan wouldn't have rushed the windows once they spotted Darrin. easy child was watching the downstairs windows for movement, I was watching the upstairs. Nothing.

    Darrin is going to ask Emma if Alex has been to school. Teachers usually inform the class when kids have moved. If on the slim chance they're still here, easy child has written her address and phone number inside the books. She'll ask Emma to give them to Alex to give to his sister.

    And I was wrong, Nichole wasn't the one to break the silence.............seems no answer at the door ticked easy child off and she fired off another message to her. Not that it really matters.

    If she's run, then I know she's involved in whatever M is doing, and I know it involves the kids and it goes far beyond using them to mooch off the state. Makes me sick, but it's not like I haven't strongly suspected it for some time regardless of how much effort I put into trying hard not to believe it.

    I have no clue where she'd run to next. She has an open case with cps in both springfield and st. Louis, so I doubt she'll head back there.

    I guess you're really jaded when all you want for xmas is for your daughter to lose custody of her kids.
  13. InsaneCdn

    InsaneCdn Well-Known Member

    Lisa. That's not jaded. Just reword it... Really, all you want for xmas is for the grands to be safe. And I don't blame you. There may not be any way to turn your daughter around, but there IS time for the grands.

  14. HaoZi

    HaoZi Guest

    Isn't the disability payment federal? So if they don't let know a change of address, they don't have that money. I wonder if the federal disability office would be willing to tip off CPS if they get a new address provided they know there's a problem (or start an investigation of their own).
  15. DammitJanet

    DammitJanet Well-Known Member Staff Member

    Disability is federal but she is getting that money undoubtedly on a debit card. She can use it anywhere. No one will notice a problem until her address is changed with them or mail that they send her is returned to sender or something that is supposed to be filled out isnt.
  16. Hound dog

    Hound dog Nana's are Beautiful

    Well, easy child called and spoke to sister in law's little sis. Alex was at school friday. She'll take the books to Alex monday.

    I have to say that bit of news caused something deep down inside to snap. Well, it was sort of like getting slapped across the face.

    Suddenly I was like WTH am I doing??? I'm letting her push me out of the grands lives again! That's when the deep inside snap happened. Cuz oh like hades no I'm not! Katie doesn't know who she's messin' with.

    No, I don't have to help katie or enable her or whatever to be those kids Nana. But I will be their Nana, whether she likes it or not. Yup. Even if I have to go around her to do it. Those kids will know their family loves them and want to be in their lives.

    I'm going to the school and volunteering to read to Evan's class. While I'm at it.......I'm going to see if they have grandparents do something similar for Kayla and Alex's classes. I only work a couple days a week for easy child.....and when I do get a job I plan it to be on the weekends. By reading to the class........I can make sure they're still enrolled. I can also develop relationships with the teachers and school staff. And if katie is uncooperative.........by darn I'll march their xmas presents into their classrooms and give them to them myself.

    And volunteering would be good for me too, to be honest. So it's a win/win.

  17. InsaneCdn

    InsaneCdn Well-Known Member

    Sure helps to know a little bit of what's going on... at least you can come up with a plan.

    100% agree... the kids need YOU. Find a way to keep the connection!
  18. InsaneCdn

    InsaneCdn Well-Known Member

    p.s. they might have switched apartments without skipping town? makes it harder for you to "find" them... but you still know where the kids are!
  19. KTMom91

    KTMom91 Well-Known Member

    Good for you, Lisa!

    The school should be thrilled to have you help. When Miss KT was in elementary school, her grandma went in and helped the kids with reading, and they all called her "Grandma" instead of Mrs. E. Definitely a win-win situation, especially for those kids who didn't have grandparents nearby.
  20. donna723

    donna723 Well-Known Member

    Lisa, I think it's a WONDERFUL idea for you to volunteer at the school! Like it or not, she can't stop you from doing it! If everything was on the up and up with Katie, she would have let you know if they were moving! And if they had just moved to a different apartment in the same complex, it doesn't seem like they would have just left their furniture! I hope you get to talk to the kids and that you can figure out what's going on.