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<blockquote data-quote="JKF" data-source="post: 629398" data-attributes="member: 12470"><p>Thanks dstc! I agree - the ability our difficult child's have to sponge and mooch off of others amazes me. No wonder he's not motivated to get help and do the right thing. He knows he can sucker people into helping him with little to no effort on his part. He's a very good at playing the victim and manipulating people into feeling sorry for him.</p><p></p><p> Yes! Quite a facade. It's exhausting isn't it? Calm neutral mom on the outside while all the while slowly dying inside.</p><p></p><p></p><p>This particular comment brings me back to what must have been difficult child's 16th birthday. He was living here at the time and was attending a daily out patient program. For his birthday we had planned to go to dinner at his favorite restaurant and we also got him a very nice mountain bike and a cell phone. It wasn't an expensive cell phone by any means but it was still nice and I was very excited to give it to him. I don't remember exactly what happened but something set him off and he went into a complete rage. He trashed his room and also destroyed his brand new cell phone. He literally stomped it to bits. We never did go to dinner that night either. I'll never forget that and in a way it was a turning point for me.</p><p></p><p>As for my dad, he's doing so much better now that difficult child is gone. He's picking up the pieces of destruction that difficult child left in his wake but his stress level has gone way down which is great. He isn't a well man to begin with and difficult child was slowly killing him. I'm so relieved he doesn't have that drama to deal with anymore.</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="JKF, post: 629398, member: 12470"] Thanks dstc! I agree - the ability our difficult child's have to sponge and mooch off of others amazes me. No wonder he's not motivated to get help and do the right thing. He knows he can sucker people into helping him with little to no effort on his part. He's a very good at playing the victim and manipulating people into feeling sorry for him. Yes! Quite a facade. It's exhausting isn't it? Calm neutral mom on the outside while all the while slowly dying inside. This particular comment brings me back to what must have been difficult child's 16th birthday. He was living here at the time and was attending a daily out patient program. For his birthday we had planned to go to dinner at his favorite restaurant and we also got him a very nice mountain bike and a cell phone. It wasn't an expensive cell phone by any means but it was still nice and I was very excited to give it to him. I don't remember exactly what happened but something set him off and he went into a complete rage. He trashed his room and also destroyed his brand new cell phone. He literally stomped it to bits. We never did go to dinner that night either. I'll never forget that and in a way it was a turning point for me. As for my dad, he's doing so much better now that difficult child is gone. He's picking up the pieces of destruction that difficult child left in his wake but his stress level has gone way down which is great. He isn't a well man to begin with and difficult child was slowly killing him. I'm so relieved he doesn't have that drama to deal with anymore. [/QUOTE]
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