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<blockquote data-quote="Childofmine" data-source="post: 632787" data-attributes="member: 17542"><p>Esri, I remember your first post and how upset you are and have been that she has left like she did. </p><p></p><p>I know it is very hurtful. </p><p></p><p>Right now, she is truly not somebody you want living in your house. I am thankful that the behavior you describe seeing today is not full time in your face.</p><p></p><p></p><p></p><p>If this is true, she may be on a slippery slope. </p><p></p><p></p><p></p><p>That will happen if she continues to use and is high at work. </p><p></p><p></p><p></p><p>That isn't a good sign. yes, "finding herself." Interesting. </p><p></p><p></p><p></p><p>It could, Esri, and it may not. She is 18---that is very young and very immature for most. Right now, it sounds like she is not going down a good path. She can straighten up---things haven't gone too far yet---or she can continue.</p><p></p><p>I would imagine she will not be welcome where she is staying if things continue on this path. That would be a sign as well, but it sounds like she is still welcome there right now. </p><p></p><p></p><p></p><p>Because we have to LEARN how to do it. It does not come naturally. Please read CoDependent No More, as a first step. It is a great book.</p><p></p><p>Esri, your daughter may be heading to a place where many of our difficult children have been, and she may not be. One thing is true: Nothing you do, say or don't do or say is going to stop it, hasten it, shorten it, or save her.</p><p></p><p>She is an adult (at least chronologically, in terms of her age, if not her maturity) and it would be very good for you if you can find a way to stand back and stand down. Let some time go by.</p><p></p><p>Set a goal of contacting her once a week via text or phone call or meet for lunch. Be nice, sweet, pleasant and talk about whatever---the weather, the news, how you and your family are doing. Keep it short. Keep it simple. </p><p></p><p>Just let things roll, and see what happens. if she is on a bad path, you'll know soon enough (believe me). If not, you'll know soon enough.</p><p></p><p>I know it hurts badly. I hope right now you are more mad than sad. Mad is a more empowering emotion. If it gives way to sad, just know that your sadness will pass. Keep doing the next right thing in front of you, and this too shall pass.</p><p></p><p>Warm hugs. We are here for you.</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="Childofmine, post: 632787, member: 17542"] Esri, I remember your first post and how upset you are and have been that she has left like she did. I know it is very hurtful. Right now, she is truly not somebody you want living in your house. I am thankful that the behavior you describe seeing today is not full time in your face. If this is true, she may be on a slippery slope. That will happen if she continues to use and is high at work. That isn't a good sign. yes, "finding herself." Interesting. It could, Esri, and it may not. She is 18---that is very young and very immature for most. Right now, it sounds like she is not going down a good path. She can straighten up---things haven't gone too far yet---or she can continue. I would imagine she will not be welcome where she is staying if things continue on this path. That would be a sign as well, but it sounds like she is still welcome there right now. Because we have to LEARN how to do it. It does not come naturally. Please read CoDependent No More, as a first step. It is a great book. Esri, your daughter may be heading to a place where many of our difficult children have been, and she may not be. One thing is true: Nothing you do, say or don't do or say is going to stop it, hasten it, shorten it, or save her. She is an adult (at least chronologically, in terms of her age, if not her maturity) and it would be very good for you if you can find a way to stand back and stand down. Let some time go by. Set a goal of contacting her once a week via text or phone call or meet for lunch. Be nice, sweet, pleasant and talk about whatever---the weather, the news, how you and your family are doing. Keep it short. Keep it simple. Just let things roll, and see what happens. if she is on a bad path, you'll know soon enough (believe me). If not, you'll know soon enough. I know it hurts badly. I hope right now you are more mad than sad. Mad is a more empowering emotion. If it gives way to sad, just know that your sadness will pass. Keep doing the next right thing in front of you, and this too shall pass. Warm hugs. We are here for you. [/QUOTE]
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