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<blockquote data-quote="BusynMember" data-source="post: 632798" data-attributes="member: 1550"><p>I think that's positive (the note). She is telling you she does love you, she just needs space. Is it possible that you two were so intertwined that she just felt she HAD to leave or be smothered? That isn't uncommon and it doesn't mean she hates you. I admit her behavior then the letter seem to contradict one another, but she IS only eighteen and she may have felt guilty. That she feels guilty is a GREAT sign. Many difficult children have no remorse no matter who they hurt or how much and THAT is big trouble for their long term lives. It appears that your daughter has a conscience.</p><p></p><p>Let her go through this. She needs to. Enjoy her letter. Don't stew over it. And enjoy your own life now. There are times, often when our kids turn eighteen and move out for any number of reasons, when we need to take a new turn in our lives. This has happened to me whenever a grown child moves out. My very youngest moved out last week and it was not as hard as I expected. I had been planning this for a year so I knew it was coming and had some activities in place and some life changes. You can do that too. Your daughter is not going to be around as much as she was, even when she is ready to have a relationship with you again. When they turn eighteen and leave, our relationship with them changes.</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="BusynMember, post: 632798, member: 1550"] I think that's positive (the note). She is telling you she does love you, she just needs space. Is it possible that you two were so intertwined that she just felt she HAD to leave or be smothered? That isn't uncommon and it doesn't mean she hates you. I admit her behavior then the letter seem to contradict one another, but she IS only eighteen and she may have felt guilty. That she feels guilty is a GREAT sign. Many difficult children have no remorse no matter who they hurt or how much and THAT is big trouble for their long term lives. It appears that your daughter has a conscience. Let her go through this. She needs to. Enjoy her letter. Don't stew over it. And enjoy your own life now. There are times, often when our kids turn eighteen and move out for any number of reasons, when we need to take a new turn in our lives. This has happened to me whenever a grown child moves out. My very youngest moved out last week and it was not as hard as I expected. I had been planning this for a year so I knew it was coming and had some activities in place and some life changes. You can do that too. Your daughter is not going to be around as much as she was, even when she is ready to have a relationship with you again. When they turn eighteen and leave, our relationship with them changes. [/QUOTE]
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