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<blockquote data-quote="Echolette" data-source="post: 703395" data-attributes="member: 17269"><p>Ah, SS, I am sorry this is all happening to you and your family. I agree with what the others have said...try to go about your holiday in your own way, with love and clarity, as you are doing. I am really glad you reached out to your own family. As for Thanksgiving with just your husband...although for most of my life Thanksgiving has been a 20 plus person event, once I had it with just my sister, in a college apartment where the landlord turned the heat off..we made a chicken. It was lovely. I hope you have the same kind of personal, quiet, lovely connection.</p><p></p><p></p><p></p><p>UK Mummy is wise...we all know this, and I know you know it too. This pain will pass, even if you do nothing. These difficulty emotions wear themselves out. </p><p></p><p></p><p></p><p>This one took me a long time, and I may not have mastered it stll. The promises, the promises...applying jobs, going to check in to rehab tomorrow, on and on. I was always excited, or at a minimum enthusiastically supportive. It seemed the right way to be, learned from experience with my neurotypical easy kids. But it is exhausting. You husband is right..we celebrate accomplishments with our Difficult Child's, not promises. </p><p></p><p></p><p></p><p>This has been a regular feature of my life. I would like to line up all the young women who have contacted me over the years to firmly dress me down for not being there for my good, kind son who needs his mom. They all have a magic insight into his soul that his mom doesn't have. They all see me as cold. They all disappear from his life after a few weeks or months. I want a group picture of them all. <img src="/community/styles/default/xenforo/smilies/2012/censored2.gif" class="smilie" loading="lazy" alt=":censored2:" title="censored2 :censored2:" data-shortname=":censored2:" /> em! It too have wondered if some of the messages were actually from him...and conversely sometimes I wonder if some one else wrote the messages he ostensibly sent me.</p><p></p><p>Good luck to you over these next few days, SS. All of us are together in the holidays (all of us Parents Emeritus folks, I mean). It has been many years now since I saw my boy on a holiday. He used to absolutely love them, too...he was very family oriented. But that was then. Now our table is smaller. I try to honor the heartbreak that goes with that, and also to move forward. </p><p></p><p>Loving wishes to all of you for peace and gratitude on this most lovely of holidays. </p><p></p><p>Echo</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="Echolette, post: 703395, member: 17269"] Ah, SS, I am sorry this is all happening to you and your family. I agree with what the others have said...try to go about your holiday in your own way, with love and clarity, as you are doing. I am really glad you reached out to your own family. As for Thanksgiving with just your husband...although for most of my life Thanksgiving has been a 20 plus person event, once I had it with just my sister, in a college apartment where the landlord turned the heat off..we made a chicken. It was lovely. I hope you have the same kind of personal, quiet, lovely connection. UK Mummy is wise...we all know this, and I know you know it too. This pain will pass, even if you do nothing. These difficulty emotions wear themselves out. This one took me a long time, and I may not have mastered it stll. The promises, the promises...applying jobs, going to check in to rehab tomorrow, on and on. I was always excited, or at a minimum enthusiastically supportive. It seemed the right way to be, learned from experience with my neurotypical easy kids. But it is exhausting. You husband is right..we celebrate accomplishments with our Difficult Child's, not promises. This has been a regular feature of my life. I would like to line up all the young women who have contacted me over the years to firmly dress me down for not being there for my good, kind son who needs his mom. They all have a magic insight into his soul that his mom doesn't have. They all see me as cold. They all disappear from his life after a few weeks or months. I want a group picture of them all. :censored2: em! It too have wondered if some of the messages were actually from him...and conversely sometimes I wonder if some one else wrote the messages he ostensibly sent me. Good luck to you over these next few days, SS. All of us are together in the holidays (all of us Parents Emeritus folks, I mean). It has been many years now since I saw my boy on a holiday. He used to absolutely love them, too...he was very family oriented. But that was then. Now our table is smaller. I try to honor the heartbreak that goes with that, and also to move forward. Loving wishes to all of you for peace and gratitude on this most lovely of holidays. Echo [/QUOTE]
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