update on daughter (who made her choice)

Discussion in 'General Parenting' started by curlycallie, Nov 23, 2009.

  1. curlycallie

    curlycallie New Member

    Hi everyone,

    Wish i had good news to share but not today anyway. difficult child was sent for 5 weeks rehab as her choice. Her other choice was jjs for theft from us. She did really well up until the last week and a half where she could not get along with the other "clients", mainly the other girls. They basically tormented her because she acts aloof which they interpret as your trash and I'm better than you. They don't like that so much! So she came home a week early because she was fighting with everyone and paranoid of everything said. husband and I kept her with us at all times(he brought her to work with me) and VERY stupidly we got talked into letting her go with her 1 "good" friend 2 days after release. Of course she ended up using. I confronted her about it by asking questions about what they did and she couldn't remember the name of the movie and they had a flat tire so someone else brought her home, blah,blah,blah. Didn't believe a word and accused her of being high which she denied of course. The next day was filled with verbal abuse which turned violent when we locked her away from the internet to keep her from contacting her drug friends. She went off the deep end so called 911 and they took her off to the emergency room where they so wisely decided she wasn't a threat to herself of others. Back home she comes with not a word said then or most of the next day. Then husband says around 2:00 difficult child's gone. Reported her as runaway and talked to several people who know her but no luck. She showed up sometime after I went to bed. Told husband she can go where and do what she wants. So I guess we wil try to get her back into another facility where they provide mental health, her recent rehab didn't deal with that at all. I'm not sure how I'll get her there if she doesn't cooperate but I'll be dam#ed if she'll live here and use. I couldn't live with that. husband husband and I went for a walk yesterday to talk privately and we both admitted we weren't really sure whether we cared if she came back or not. It makes me feel sick to say that but she has abused the caring right out of us. Thanks for listening and will post when anything changes.
  2. DDD

    DDD Well-Known Member

    It's great that you and your husband are on the same page. Sorry you are having to go through this but you are not alone. Fingers crossed that help is available in your area so you can get "your child" back before her habits are established for the future. Hugs. DDD
  3. klmno

    klmno Active Member

    The facility might not have gotten to a point of underlying mental health problems because they couldn't get past the first steps getting thru to your daughter about the drug usage and need for help and cooperation. That pretty much has to be dealt with first. There are some good facilities that deal with both- but it sounds like you might have your hands full getting her into one. If you're able to do that, I'd leave her in there as long as possible this time- no matter if she's miserable or liked or not. It won't be fun for her if it's any good at all. Good luck!