Estherfromjerusalem
Well-Known Member
Hello my friends!
I am feeling really happy tonight. My difficult child has moved out, and moved in with his girlfriend, into a really tiny weeny apartment but they are happy. They are both working and will share the rent.
As you must have noticed, I haven't written really about Oriel for a long time. I have been biding my time and holding my breath as things seemed to be straightening themselves out, and I was scared that if I talked about it I would somehow jinx it all.
difficult child finished his three years (compulsory here in Israel) in the military. That is considered very honorable, to have done the full three years. For "normal" kids it is no big deal, although it isn't easy for anyone. But for difficult children it is extremely challenging, because of the authority factor. Oriel was lucky, he had a superior officer who understood kids like Oriel and treated him just right, and helped him through to finish. That means he will have it on his CV when he ever wants to apply for a job.
I have always prayed and hoped that if we get through the teen years, that Oriel will somehow "grow up" and "grow out of it," and I give thanks to the Almighty that he is not on drugs and hasn't been in trouble with the police. I don't quite understand how that happened, but it did. It means that he can make a life for himself.
He has always been in love with cars and motorbikes. He had a motorbike of his own (bought it with the money he inherited from my late father). A few months ago he applied for a job as a salesman with a reputable motorbike agency, and went through all sort of stages, including a graphologist, was shortlisted, had several interviews, and got the job. Unbelievable. A job with tenure, with pension rights, etc. etc. He has been there for four months. He has to be there at 8 o'clock six mornings a week, works 10 hours a day, and on Fridays 6 hours. Waking him up in the mornings has been a nightmare. We have been cursed and screamed at, but we got him up every morning.
He has had a girlfriend for a year now. A lovely girl. I can't understand what she sees in him, but there is no doubt about the fact that she is good for him. He is still volatile and still flies off the handle very quickly, but not to the same extent as he used to. He and my husband often argue. And my husband, being very religious, is very uncomfortable about them moving in together into their little apartment, and he won't go there. He doesn't want to be seen approving it. I understand him, but I have gently encouraged Oriel, bought them some stuff as our Hanukka present to them. Her parents have also given them equipment.
Today, he left. I phoned him late this evening just to see how they were, and he sounds tired and happy. He thanked me for helping them with the apartment, and for everything.
I have done everything I could to pour oil on troubled waters for several years. I just felt in my gut that that was the right thing to do with this child.
Now we must wait and see. I hope it lasts. I personally would be happy if this girl would be "the" one.
Our apartment is really calm tonight.
I just wanted to share all of that with you.
I just want to say one more thing. Although I said it, and I mean it, that I am so happy that he has left, I love that child to distraction although he sometimes makes it so hard to love him. When he does something, he does it with all his heart. He does have a conscience. He has attended all the recent family gatherings and behaved well. I think that maybe he is on the right road and that there is room for cautious optimism, at long long last.
Love, Esther
I am feeling really happy tonight. My difficult child has moved out, and moved in with his girlfriend, into a really tiny weeny apartment but they are happy. They are both working and will share the rent.
As you must have noticed, I haven't written really about Oriel for a long time. I have been biding my time and holding my breath as things seemed to be straightening themselves out, and I was scared that if I talked about it I would somehow jinx it all.
difficult child finished his three years (compulsory here in Israel) in the military. That is considered very honorable, to have done the full three years. For "normal" kids it is no big deal, although it isn't easy for anyone. But for difficult children it is extremely challenging, because of the authority factor. Oriel was lucky, he had a superior officer who understood kids like Oriel and treated him just right, and helped him through to finish. That means he will have it on his CV when he ever wants to apply for a job.
I have always prayed and hoped that if we get through the teen years, that Oriel will somehow "grow up" and "grow out of it," and I give thanks to the Almighty that he is not on drugs and hasn't been in trouble with the police. I don't quite understand how that happened, but it did. It means that he can make a life for himself.
He has always been in love with cars and motorbikes. He had a motorbike of his own (bought it with the money he inherited from my late father). A few months ago he applied for a job as a salesman with a reputable motorbike agency, and went through all sort of stages, including a graphologist, was shortlisted, had several interviews, and got the job. Unbelievable. A job with tenure, with pension rights, etc. etc. He has been there for four months. He has to be there at 8 o'clock six mornings a week, works 10 hours a day, and on Fridays 6 hours. Waking him up in the mornings has been a nightmare. We have been cursed and screamed at, but we got him up every morning.
He has had a girlfriend for a year now. A lovely girl. I can't understand what she sees in him, but there is no doubt about the fact that she is good for him. He is still volatile and still flies off the handle very quickly, but not to the same extent as he used to. He and my husband often argue. And my husband, being very religious, is very uncomfortable about them moving in together into their little apartment, and he won't go there. He doesn't want to be seen approving it. I understand him, but I have gently encouraged Oriel, bought them some stuff as our Hanukka present to them. Her parents have also given them equipment.
Today, he left. I phoned him late this evening just to see how they were, and he sounds tired and happy. He thanked me for helping them with the apartment, and for everything.
I have done everything I could to pour oil on troubled waters for several years. I just felt in my gut that that was the right thing to do with this child.
Now we must wait and see. I hope it lasts. I personally would be happy if this girl would be "the" one.
Our apartment is really calm tonight.
I just wanted to share all of that with you.
I just want to say one more thing. Although I said it, and I mean it, that I am so happy that he has left, I love that child to distraction although he sometimes makes it so hard to love him. When he does something, he does it with all his heart. He does have a conscience. He has attended all the recent family gatherings and behaved well. I think that maybe he is on the right road and that there is room for cautious optimism, at long long last.
Love, Esther
HAPPY NEW YEAR! DDD
