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Parent Emeritus
Update on Difficult Child in Denver-no surprises here.
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<blockquote data-quote="Copabanana" data-source="post: 666502" data-attributes="member: 18958"><p>BG, none of us can.</p><p></p><p>Of course you feel the hope has been taken away. I have felt this way so many times. Like I could not any more bear the pain of it. Of having hope...and then despair.</p><p></p><p>That is why I have tried to let go and to concentrate on that which I can better control: my own life and home. I still love my son as much as before and certainly care as much, but I realize I cannot tie my own well being to his--over which I have accepted I have no control what so ever.</p><p></p><p>It is paradoxical that now that I have disengaged, my son seems to be making better choices...and is treating me better.</p><p></p><p>Nevertheless, I am reserved when he calls, saying little more than hi and goodbye. For me, it is better that way, for both of us.</p><p></p><p>BG, when your son is ready...he will do what he needs to do...and not one second sooner.</p><p></p><p>It may have been theater on his part, a way to destabilize you and get a reaction. So he can make you responsible and not himself.</p><p></p><p>That is the benefit to them (and us) of pulling back. The responsibility will rest firmly in your son. Where it belongs.</p><p></p><p>Try to do something nice for yourself right now. There is hope. But the power to get there does not rest in us. It rests in our sons.</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="Copabanana, post: 666502, member: 18958"] BG, none of us can. Of course you feel the hope has been taken away. I have felt this way so many times. Like I could not any more bear the pain of it. Of having hope...and then despair. That is why I have tried to let go and to concentrate on that which I can better control: my own life and home. I still love my son as much as before and certainly care as much, but I realize I cannot tie my own well being to his--over which I have accepted I have no control what so ever. It is paradoxical that now that I have disengaged, my son seems to be making better choices...and is treating me better. Nevertheless, I am reserved when he calls, saying little more than hi and goodbye. For me, it is better that way, for both of us. BG, when your son is ready...he will do what he needs to do...and not one second sooner. It may have been theater on his part, a way to destabilize you and get a reaction. So he can make you responsible and not himself. That is the benefit to them (and us) of pulling back. The responsibility will rest firmly in your son. Where it belongs. Try to do something nice for yourself right now. There is hope. But the power to get there does not rest in us. It rests in our sons. [/QUOTE]
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Update on Difficult Child in Denver-no surprises here.
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