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Update on Difficult Child
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<blockquote data-quote="Copabanana" data-source="post: 662003" data-attributes="member: 18958"><p>How romantic.</p><p></p><p>We can hope that she is locked up long enough for your son to move on. COM, It sounds like your son opens up to your husband and feels safe talking to him man to man. It sure does do credit to both of them, your husband for his neutrality, control and presence of mind, your son for his self-confidence, confidence in others, and ability to trust.</p><p></p><p>It could be that your son to some extent identified with this young girl, and both believed and benefited from trying to guide his as if younger self out of the forest. This helped him consolidate his emerging adult self, and at the same time distance himself from the lost child he was. All with love and understanding for her and for himself, as he was. What could be better?</p><p></p><p>At now it looks like he might be using your husband as an alter-ego to begin to separate from the actual girl. How great is that?</p><p></p><p>I for one think he is in the process of moving on. He sounds to be such a good and responsible person that he does not take this lightly or easily. How many men leave us responsibility and integrity? Not many. What a great guy!</p><p></p><p>But realize that it might be hard for him in the short run, if he still identifies with her, as lost and in need of guidance as he once was. He may try and try, for awhile or he may not. Time will tell.</p><p></p><p>I would be proud and hopeful, despite myself. And of course because I am me, I would crash and burn when disappointed. </p><p></p><p>You are doing everything and more you can to be both in the present and detached and a good Mother. What a role model for us, COM. </p><p></p><p>Nothing in life prepared me to be the contortionist required in the situations we find ourselves.</p><p></p><p>Thank you.</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="Copabanana, post: 662003, member: 18958"] How romantic. We can hope that she is locked up long enough for your son to move on. COM, It sounds like your son opens up to your husband and feels safe talking to him man to man. It sure does do credit to both of them, your husband for his neutrality, control and presence of mind, your son for his self-confidence, confidence in others, and ability to trust. It could be that your son to some extent identified with this young girl, and both believed and benefited from trying to guide his as if younger self out of the forest. This helped him consolidate his emerging adult self, and at the same time distance himself from the lost child he was. All with love and understanding for her and for himself, as he was. What could be better? At now it looks like he might be using your husband as an alter-ego to begin to separate from the actual girl. How great is that? I for one think he is in the process of moving on. He sounds to be such a good and responsible person that he does not take this lightly or easily. How many men leave us responsibility and integrity? Not many. What a great guy! But realize that it might be hard for him in the short run, if he still identifies with her, as lost and in need of guidance as he once was. He may try and try, for awhile or he may not. Time will tell. I would be proud and hopeful, despite myself. And of course because I am me, I would crash and burn when disappointed. You are doing everything and more you can to be both in the present and detached and a good Mother. What a role model for us, COM. Nothing in life prepared me to be the contortionist required in the situations we find ourselves. Thank you. [/QUOTE]
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