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Update on dtr that got sent home from boot camp
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<blockquote data-quote="BusynMember" data-source="post: 725202" data-attributes="member: 1550"><p>I am always amazed at how many of our difficult loved ones think that their lives are perfect as long as they can party as they like. They are not like us. They think in the now only.</p><p>It's like the Scarlett OHara in Gone With the Wind only in a bad way. "I'll think about that tomorrow."</p><p></p><p>The list of not now...tomorrow..</p><p></p><p>Jobs</p><p>Careers</p><p>Adulthood</p><p>Quitting drugs</p><p>Doing chores</p><p>School</p><p>Taking showers</p><p>Etc.</p><p></p><p>These are things that I think WE think about, but they don't and I don't even believe it is out of meanness...i think it is more their me centric lives.</p><p></p><p>I do not think they ponder how WE feel...our fear, our pain, our betrayal. I don't think WE are even thought about unless we won't give money, threaten to make them leave or otherwise block their path to "fun." I disagree that people in the throes of this mindset are upset that we are sad, or even think about it, until we get on their way.</p><p></p><p>When they quit/reform/mature THEN we are finally thought of. Not until...we are until just a pain in their necks. Ruining their fun.</p><p></p><p>I just think life is to them an endless party and if it bothers us, they don't know or care. Unless we try to stop it.</p><p></p><p>Let us not forget "pot is good for you and the answer to all ills. It's not a drug. So I smoke it rather than take my psychiatric medications. Pot is GOOD! It is natural. It helps me, although I have no future right now..."</p><p></p><p>Their mindsets are nothing like ours. Couch surfing, taking gifts from kind folks whom they later kick in the pants is not seen as bad on them...they see the good Samaritans as unfair in the end. "They turned on me! Not fair!" Things like panhandling don't shame them. Looking disreputable is fine, even an asset, if they are even aware. I think of my beautiful daughter dressed all in black with black smudged eye make up and black lipstick and nails. I told her it makes a bad impresion. In her drug fog she said, "If they judge me, I dont want to know them anyway." Grrrrr.</p><p></p><p>Often hygiene means little to them. They can stink! But they don't care. May not believe they smell. As that one commercial says, become nose blind to body odor.</p><p></p><p>We are talking about young to middle age adults here, not children. I admit I was embarassed to be with daughter when she looked like she was trying to mimic a witch (not Wiccan, but the Wicked Witch of the West.)</p><p></p><p>Anyhow how different she thinks and looks today.</p><p></p><p>Just some thoughts on the peculiar thinking patterns and values of our difficult adult kids. It is hard to meet them in the middle when they are on a different planet from us. Sorry to veer off topic.</p><p></p><p>Carry on.</p><p></p><p></p><p> </p><p>.</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="BusynMember, post: 725202, member: 1550"] I am always amazed at how many of our difficult loved ones think that their lives are perfect as long as they can party as they like. They are not like us. They think in the now only. It's like the Scarlett OHara in Gone With the Wind only in a bad way. "I'll think about that tomorrow." The list of not now...tomorrow.. Jobs Careers Adulthood Quitting drugs Doing chores School Taking showers Etc. These are things that I think WE think about, but they don't and I don't even believe it is out of meanness...i think it is more their me centric lives. I do not think they ponder how WE feel...our fear, our pain, our betrayal. I don't think WE are even thought about unless we won't give money, threaten to make them leave or otherwise block their path to "fun." I disagree that people in the throes of this mindset are upset that we are sad, or even think about it, until we get on their way. When they quit/reform/mature THEN we are finally thought of. Not until...we are until just a pain in their necks. Ruining their fun. I just think life is to them an endless party and if it bothers us, they don't know or care. Unless we try to stop it. Let us not forget "pot is good for you and the answer to all ills. It's not a drug. So I smoke it rather than take my psychiatric medications. Pot is GOOD! It is natural. It helps me, although I have no future right now..." Their mindsets are nothing like ours. Couch surfing, taking gifts from kind folks whom they later kick in the pants is not seen as bad on them...they see the good Samaritans as unfair in the end. "They turned on me! Not fair!" Things like panhandling don't shame them. Looking disreputable is fine, even an asset, if they are even aware. I think of my beautiful daughter dressed all in black with black smudged eye make up and black lipstick and nails. I told her it makes a bad impresion. In her drug fog she said, "If they judge me, I dont want to know them anyway." Grrrrr. Often hygiene means little to them. They can stink! But they don't care. May not believe they smell. As that one commercial says, become nose blind to body odor. We are talking about young to middle age adults here, not children. I admit I was embarassed to be with daughter when she looked like she was trying to mimic a witch (not Wiccan, but the Wicked Witch of the West.) Anyhow how different she thinks and looks today. Just some thoughts on the peculiar thinking patterns and values of our difficult adult kids. It is hard to meet them in the middle when they are on a different planet from us. Sorry to veer off topic. Carry on. . [/QUOTE]
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Update on dtr that got sent home from boot camp
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