Update on GFGmom and her post "retirement" life...geez!

[DDD]

I haven't heard from her since she got access to "some" of her "retirement" funds. What I hear via the grapevine is: (l) all new appliances including a dryer that does dry cleaning (2) a brand new car paid for with cash (3) house painted, tiled etc. and new furniture (4) now commuting to a college 1.5 hours away to complete her required two courses before applying for nursing program (5) new fence around the backyard (6) new clothes for everyone in the house...and...(7) a car for difficult child#2 who, by the way, is driving to the Club a couple times a week and drinking. Sigh!

Oh yeah, I forgot two weekend trips out of town.

I have not spoken to her or difficult child#2 since the holidays. Hmmm...guess there's no need to hit me up for gas money etc. now that she has bucks. I'm detached but OMG I still can't believe I gave birth to such a hot mess. DDD

 

[everywoman]

I have said it before, and I will say it again...I think she and my mom were twins in some other life----they are so much alike. I often marvel that I am as sane as I am.

 

[rejectedmom]

Well it appears she is using her retirement fund to finance another career. would have been nice if she didn't blow thorough it all at once but she is forever the grasshopper and not the ant. I wish she could have said "thank you for taking care of my responsibilites for so long till I was able to do something on my own" but we all know that will never happen. At least you won't be supporting her in her next retirement.

 

[DammitJanet]

RM...I was sorta thinking the same thing. Most likely DDD wont have to watch her go through a whole nother retirement mess and if karma rings true, gfgmom may end up having to take care of the next generation of grandchildren.

 

[DDD]

LOL, guys. I'm 71 and she's 48. Yep I hope to be pushing daisies before she lives with the results of her choices. She is the one who quit her State job. She is the one who has managed to access the retirement funds that I doubt are suppose to be used. She is the one who expects to become a nurse even though she's not yet qualified for the admission process. It's on her.

on the other hand, even though I really have detached, I just can't abide that all our years preparing difficult child#2 for the best future possible have gone down the tube. We tried so hard to save him from her. Sigh! DDD

 

[Hound dog]

DDD, difficult child #2 may yet surprise you.

As for your daughter..........I'm trying to figure out why someone would give up a cushy state job for one of the hardest, dirtiest, most stressful jobs there are. Oh, and I forgot pretty much thankless as docs tend to blame you for everything, patients families tend to blame you for everything......and often patients themselves tend to blame you for everything.

If she makes it that far, she's in for a rude awakening. lol

 

[susiestar]

She will be asking you for money by Christmas. this is not your problem and I hope she learns from the experience. Most who go through any kind of windfall end up bankrupt in just a very few years.

 

[busywend]

I predict the IRS will be after her shortly.

 

[DDD]

HD...the grass is always greener for GFGmom. With no evil intent I truly don't think she's going to make it through the process even if she does give her best shot.

Wend...it won't be the first time the government has caught her. When difficult child#2 was living with us she collected disability for him with-o our knowledge of course. I'm not sure how many years she got away with it but probably five or six years (yes, you're right, she gave us no support for the boys). They caught up with her somehow. She came to my store and cried and confessed and apologized. Sigh. Then they automatically took money from her paycheck to pay them back. Of course the gov't didn't pay us back
which would have made sense.

She's a piece of work and totally lives for instant gratification. DDD

 

[donna723]

I wish I could say Im surprised by her actions but I'm not. I saw too many people just like her when I worked for the State all those years. In our case, a few years ago they offered "buy outs" to veteran employees to cut down the number of employees and reduce the budget. I was just dumbfounded by how many people took them up on it! This wasn't an "early retirement" incentive. These were, for the most part, people who were too young to collect their social security or their State pension, but who were in their late 40's or early 50's and would have a difficult time finding another job in this area with our depressed economy. It was a little "windfall" but not a HUGE windfall. It was "X" number of dollars for every year of employment with the State. In my case (typical), if I had taken it, after taxes I would have ended up with the equivalent of about six months take-home pay ... and no more medical insurance. After that six months I would have had no money, no job, no insurance, and very little hope of finding another job at my age. The people who took the buyout mostly just saw that "windfall" and couldn't resist it but I wonder how some of them are doing now after the money ran out! Plus, by leaving before retirement age, when they WERE old enough to collect their State pension, the amount they receive will be much smaller than it would have been if they had stuck it out. You would think that at that age, they would have had a little more foresight to the future, but apparently not.

DDD, I know I'm "preachin' to the choir" here, but it's a big problem that she's basing all her hopes on becoming a nurse. When my daughter started nursing school there were 4 or 5 applicants for every position in the class. Some people applied every year over and over again before they were finally accepted and many never were. And in my daughter's class, at least a third of the ones who started the classes never graduated, for various reasons. Some couldn't keep up academically and others were dismissed for other reasons including missing too many days of classes. It takes a great deal of hard work and dedication. Gfgmom is probably going to be in for a very rude awakening. And when that happens, if you will be able to resist saying, "I told you so!", then you're a much better person than I am!

 

[DDD]

Lol, Donna. I've been there done that with the "I told you so's". She's been a piece of work for decades but always pleasant speaking with me and seemingly respectful. She "you know whattin" just doesn't "get it". It's all like water off a ducks back and I assume when she is "down and out" she will find "a way" to survive. She is a survivor...even those of us around her are victims of her impulsive choices.

I truly do not wish her lack of success but I will be gob smacked if she is able to complete that course of study and get a job. My most difficult problem is coping with her impact on both boys. difficult child#2 was "Mommy deprived" for years and he's just so blankin' innocent and trusting...like a ship with-o a rudder. I've done my best...and that's the truth. Sigh! DDD