Star*
call 911........call 911
HI family,
Gosh what an education I got yesterday and what an education I gave.
We had to see Dudes Propation officer or....PO. (some new terms here)
He was in Violation of his Probation or....VOP
His PO wasn't in and usually you can't talk to the PO about VOP unless you are the client. (no fancy word for that - mmm maybe idiot?)
In order to get to the SCP office we all had to get our cheery selves up at 5:00. I got up, everyone else - was not. At 5:30 - I gave the wake up calls - and poor Dude had just fallen asleep at 3:30-4:00 worried that he was going to jail for 6 years over not having paid his fines/restitution/court costs for his PD (public Defender) and probationary fees. WHAT??
Okay when you go to court - there are fees for a PD EVEN IF you are indigent (very poor). The PD alone is $500.00 (a new law - gosh thanks)
Then there is restitution or (payment to the victim of the crimes)
There are fines - (what the state charges you because you are an idiot)
There are fees for probation (what the state charges you to show up in the PO's office and "monitor" you)
And here's the kick - As a parent YOU are not supposed to discuss ANY and I mean ANY aspect of this situation with a PO. So I called and asked if you have a child that is disabled - what do you do? She allowed me back to get the necessary information to handle this mess. I had NO idea what his fines were - he couldn't tell me and wasn't sure where any of his paperwork was. She asked him why he thought he no longer had fees to pay - and he (kind of cocky like --Oh Mom knows everything) said "My last PO said she would waive my fines until I got a job - and I don't have a job." And the PO looked at me and then back at him and said "So you believe you don't have any more fines to pay?" and he said "Why Do I?" and so she talked to me after that.
We dug into our savings and caught him up 6 months worth of probation fees and restitution to keep him from going to jail. I had NO idea there was court costs even if you are indigent - but now $1000.00 is added to the mix.
I told the PO that the group home was supposed to create a budget and help him get these fines paid down. Well-we all know that didn't happen and I told her the names of people I spoke with to have it shut down or inspected. She was not surprised. I told her that this money being paid today was MINE and DF's. She scowled at difficult child. And told him he needed to get a job and she made a notation that he owed me. (insert chuckle)
We left there - after I tied a string around difficult child's foot. We've allowed him to think that up until meeting with the PO - that his not paying attention to everything that people say was sending him back to jail - that and not paying the fines.
The former PO - "Okay I'll let you slide on the fines - until you get a job."
difficult child and any other difficult child heard ' "Okay I'll let you slide on the fines." (as in they are gone) Until (whenever) you get a job (I had a job - I lost it that must count)
From there we left and Dude called the owner of the property to go get the rest of his clothes etc. We got there and his best friend was in tears. He was very hungry - said there has been no food in the house for a week - and that the owner told them they all have to get out - that he has tried to help these boys and they don't appreciate him.
We finally met the house elf - and were not impressed. He charged out of the side door as if we were trespassing (he came with a stick???) his demeanor was threatening, his language was not appreciated, and he sure wasn't presenting himself like a college-educated therapist for young men like we were told - I sincerely doubt the validity of that statement.
The only funny thing about any of it was that the house elf's stick - was actually the end of a broom he had been (according to the boys) sweeping like mad to clean the place up for us. WE never went in. Dude told me that he made a pan of grits over a month ago - and they were the only thing in the fridge - he was nauseated they were still there. The animals were still being abused and Df insisted the owner take the goat off the chain - he ran and bucked and kicked like a little kid. We gave the cows water, and there was no food or hay or straw or feed for any other animal.
The animal abuse board will be getting a call.
The owner is lying to the boys and i'Tourette's Syndrome become apparent to us what is going on. The boy are all frightened - two of them asked if they could come live with us. The other is 20 tomorrow and will go live with his girlfriend and her mother. The owner said he's going to be shut down. This is the story he's telling the boys. The truth is - 2 of the older kids turned 18 and signed themselves out and no longer will he get $$$ for them. The other 2 there are turning 18 in days - and had decided to not sign out - but now with only 3 boys and no BIG money - they are being put out on the street. He did say of course as a kind thing - he's giving them a month to get out.
So it will close - but not because of the abuse - but because of a greedy owner who got involved with a woman who is on crack and spends his money for her - and not back into the program. If animal control has a thing to do with it - the animals will all get new homes too. And sadly we'd talked about taking the boys - but we can't. Dude is freaking out - and they all (three boys) told him - MAN you LUCKY Dog - got parents that care, feed you, give you a nice place to stay - what were you EVER doing here man? (THAT was nice to hear in spades) VERY nice indeed.
So we left there....drove the 2 hours home, more gas - but with a child who in a day grew up a lot. Without the prompts and for the first AND I MEAN FIRST time ever - came into the den and looked at his parents and said "Thank you guys for today - for everything." and then said "Is there anything I can do for you?" and then did what we asked gladly.
Today he called and said "I wanted to let you know I'm going out in the yard to finish raking leaves and how many vitamins do I take - have a nice day at work Mom." (cripes - I just wanted to cry) Have a NICE day Mom?
Df even said - the change in Dude is so refreshing.(KNOCK ON WOOD KNOCK ON WOOD KNOCK ON WOOD) ` that makes the board curse go away. It makes looking for the group home - almost okay that it's taking them longer than expected.
Thanks for all the prayers, beads, well wishes, chicken liver dances - I mean I never take a day for granted or at least try not to - but yesterday despite it being a long and expensive one - a good one.
Thanks for listening.
Star
Gosh what an education I got yesterday and what an education I gave.
We had to see Dudes Propation officer or....PO. (some new terms here)
He was in Violation of his Probation or....VOP
His PO wasn't in and usually you can't talk to the PO about VOP unless you are the client. (no fancy word for that - mmm maybe idiot?)
In order to get to the SCP office we all had to get our cheery selves up at 5:00. I got up, everyone else - was not. At 5:30 - I gave the wake up calls - and poor Dude had just fallen asleep at 3:30-4:00 worried that he was going to jail for 6 years over not having paid his fines/restitution/court costs for his PD (public Defender) and probationary fees. WHAT??
Okay when you go to court - there are fees for a PD EVEN IF you are indigent (very poor). The PD alone is $500.00 (a new law - gosh thanks)
Then there is restitution or (payment to the victim of the crimes)
There are fines - (what the state charges you because you are an idiot)
There are fees for probation (what the state charges you to show up in the PO's office and "monitor" you)
And here's the kick - As a parent YOU are not supposed to discuss ANY and I mean ANY aspect of this situation with a PO. So I called and asked if you have a child that is disabled - what do you do? She allowed me back to get the necessary information to handle this mess. I had NO idea what his fines were - he couldn't tell me and wasn't sure where any of his paperwork was. She asked him why he thought he no longer had fees to pay - and he (kind of cocky like --Oh Mom knows everything) said "My last PO said she would waive my fines until I got a job - and I don't have a job." And the PO looked at me and then back at him and said "So you believe you don't have any more fines to pay?" and he said "Why Do I?" and so she talked to me after that.
We dug into our savings and caught him up 6 months worth of probation fees and restitution to keep him from going to jail. I had NO idea there was court costs even if you are indigent - but now $1000.00 is added to the mix.
I told the PO that the group home was supposed to create a budget and help him get these fines paid down. Well-we all know that didn't happen and I told her the names of people I spoke with to have it shut down or inspected. She was not surprised. I told her that this money being paid today was MINE and DF's. She scowled at difficult child. And told him he needed to get a job and she made a notation that he owed me. (insert chuckle)
We left there - after I tied a string around difficult child's foot. We've allowed him to think that up until meeting with the PO - that his not paying attention to everything that people say was sending him back to jail - that and not paying the fines.
The former PO - "Okay I'll let you slide on the fines - until you get a job."
difficult child and any other difficult child heard ' "Okay I'll let you slide on the fines." (as in they are gone) Until (whenever) you get a job (I had a job - I lost it that must count)
From there we left and Dude called the owner of the property to go get the rest of his clothes etc. We got there and his best friend was in tears. He was very hungry - said there has been no food in the house for a week - and that the owner told them they all have to get out - that he has tried to help these boys and they don't appreciate him.
We finally met the house elf - and were not impressed. He charged out of the side door as if we were trespassing (he came with a stick???) his demeanor was threatening, his language was not appreciated, and he sure wasn't presenting himself like a college-educated therapist for young men like we were told - I sincerely doubt the validity of that statement.
The only funny thing about any of it was that the house elf's stick - was actually the end of a broom he had been (according to the boys) sweeping like mad to clean the place up for us. WE never went in. Dude told me that he made a pan of grits over a month ago - and they were the only thing in the fridge - he was nauseated they were still there. The animals were still being abused and Df insisted the owner take the goat off the chain - he ran and bucked and kicked like a little kid. We gave the cows water, and there was no food or hay or straw or feed for any other animal.
The animal abuse board will be getting a call.
The owner is lying to the boys and i'Tourette's Syndrome become apparent to us what is going on. The boy are all frightened - two of them asked if they could come live with us. The other is 20 tomorrow and will go live with his girlfriend and her mother. The owner said he's going to be shut down. This is the story he's telling the boys. The truth is - 2 of the older kids turned 18 and signed themselves out and no longer will he get $$$ for them. The other 2 there are turning 18 in days - and had decided to not sign out - but now with only 3 boys and no BIG money - they are being put out on the street. He did say of course as a kind thing - he's giving them a month to get out.
So it will close - but not because of the abuse - but because of a greedy owner who got involved with a woman who is on crack and spends his money for her - and not back into the program. If animal control has a thing to do with it - the animals will all get new homes too. And sadly we'd talked about taking the boys - but we can't. Dude is freaking out - and they all (three boys) told him - MAN you LUCKY Dog - got parents that care, feed you, give you a nice place to stay - what were you EVER doing here man? (THAT was nice to hear in spades) VERY nice indeed.
So we left there....drove the 2 hours home, more gas - but with a child who in a day grew up a lot. Without the prompts and for the first AND I MEAN FIRST time ever - came into the den and looked at his parents and said "Thank you guys for today - for everything." and then said "Is there anything I can do for you?" and then did what we asked gladly.
Today he called and said "I wanted to let you know I'm going out in the yard to finish raking leaves and how many vitamins do I take - have a nice day at work Mom." (cripes - I just wanted to cry) Have a NICE day Mom?
Df even said - the change in Dude is so refreshing.(KNOCK ON WOOD KNOCK ON WOOD KNOCK ON WOOD) ` that makes the board curse go away. It makes looking for the group home - almost okay that it's taking them longer than expected.
Thanks for all the prayers, beads, well wishes, chicken liver dances - I mean I never take a day for granted or at least try not to - but yesterday despite it being a long and expensive one - a good one.
Thanks for listening.
Star
think depression - kept telling Dude - IS THIS A DREAM? I smell....I smell food. 
