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Update on J
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<blockquote data-quote="Malika" data-source="post: 651558" data-attributes="member: 11227"><p>Hmm, you raise an interesting point, SuZir. I guess to some degree I am still battling my own prejudices and ideas about special school (ie I am rather ambivalent and would rather he were with "normal" kids because that would not be so limited; I know that doesn't sound particularly nice but I am just being very honest here). Yes, you are right, he probably would be or certainly may be happier in a special environment... when things were going wrong with this new school, he kept saying he wanted to be in a school for ADHD kids where they would understand him. Now things seem to have settled down, at least for the time being, and the school is every day telling me "he's been an angel, he's been fantastic, etc, etc" and J himself seems happy, says he is friends with his whole class and likes everybody. This wasn't true at the beginning where he was saying some kids were bullying him and he was hitting them to "defend himself". The school clearly don't understand much about ADHD and there is honestly next to no provision in terms of dyslexia. However, we are applying for a special "plan" they have here for special needs kids and if it is awarded, there is funding that goes along with it; parents can choose where part of that funding goes (eg specialist dyslexia help) and also can name the school that they want the child to go to with the named school being virtually obliged to accept the student. It looks pretty certain that J will be awarded this plan. He himself says (interestingly) that he wants to go to boarding school and actually I think there is a lot of advantages to that. Whether I could convince the local education authority to fund a boarding school place is another matter. I do see that J can learn in terms of social skills, and does learn... does he have more to learn by being in a mainstream school? Is that learning perhaps more important, in the end, than his "happiness"? It is a difficult question and I can well understand your questioning about the choices you made for your son, SuZir. Positive connections are vital for our children, who are so blamed and rejected and misunderstood (also by their parents). A mainstream school could provide such positive connections, I think, if it is the right one?</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="Malika, post: 651558, member: 11227"] Hmm, you raise an interesting point, SuZir. I guess to some degree I am still battling my own prejudices and ideas about special school (ie I am rather ambivalent and would rather he were with "normal" kids because that would not be so limited; I know that doesn't sound particularly nice but I am just being very honest here). Yes, you are right, he probably would be or certainly may be happier in a special environment... when things were going wrong with this new school, he kept saying he wanted to be in a school for ADHD kids where they would understand him. Now things seem to have settled down, at least for the time being, and the school is every day telling me "he's been an angel, he's been fantastic, etc, etc" and J himself seems happy, says he is friends with his whole class and likes everybody. This wasn't true at the beginning where he was saying some kids were bullying him and he was hitting them to "defend himself". The school clearly don't understand much about ADHD and there is honestly next to no provision in terms of dyslexia. However, we are applying for a special "plan" they have here for special needs kids and if it is awarded, there is funding that goes along with it; parents can choose where part of that funding goes (eg specialist dyslexia help) and also can name the school that they want the child to go to with the named school being virtually obliged to accept the student. It looks pretty certain that J will be awarded this plan. He himself says (interestingly) that he wants to go to boarding school and actually I think there is a lot of advantages to that. Whether I could convince the local education authority to fund a boarding school place is another matter. I do see that J can learn in terms of social skills, and does learn... does he have more to learn by being in a mainstream school? Is that learning perhaps more important, in the end, than his "happiness"? It is a difficult question and I can well understand your questioning about the choices you made for your son, SuZir. Positive connections are vital for our children, who are so blamed and rejected and misunderstood (also by their parents). A mainstream school could provide such positive connections, I think, if it is the right one? [/QUOTE]
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