everywoman
Well-Known Member
As many of you know, about 9 months ago, I decided finally, after years of trying to save a man from himself, that I was ready to work on me---so I left a 23 year marriage---went out on my on for the first time in my adult life---and I have survived---not without a few bumps and bruises---
I left on May 26---officially.
husband proceeded to stalk me for the next 2.5 months.
In August, after my nephews wedding, pcdaughter was following me to the reception. I went through a yellow light, she followed, the three cars in front of me stopped suddenly to turn into a bank, and bam---accident. Totaled her car---did over $10,000 in damage to mine---took 2 months to get car back and money for hers, so she and I begged and bummed rides to work for that time.
In September, I fell and broke my arm/wrist---
In Jan. I woke up with both arms and both hands tingling, numb, and weakened to the point that I could not open a diet coke can tab or a door. After an emergency room visit ( I know ya'll have horror stories about er's, but mine is great), I was diagnosis with spinal compression to the point that the wrong movement would severe my spinal cord, and I was transferred 60 miles to the large medical university south of my small town. I was there for 5 days, had surgery the next Sat., and came home the next day.
While there they also discovered a benign tumor in my parotid gland (the large salivary gland). We are watching it and will do another MRI in July to reassess---they like to remove---but it is located near my facial nerve and well....not ready for that yet.
I still have a lot of muscle spasms in my neck and seem to have permanent nerve damage in my arms and hands. Time will tell. I am in pain/uncomfortable, most of the time.
But, despite all of this---I have never been happier with my life.
I put a post on facebook last night and promised Suzie and Witz I'd update here...
In August, the week after the wreck, I ran into an old hs friend. We began seeing each other casually after that. When I broke my arm, he was helpful. When I had surgery in January, he was wonderful. I ended up staying with him after surgery so he could take care of me. And he has, as much as I'd let him. I couldn't drive for six weeks, and his job allowed him to pick me up from work everyday and run me to my homebound students.
He is nothing like husband---and many of our friends (yes, we still run with the same group of friends we ran with 30 years ago) doubted we'd last. He is a truck driver, body builder, beer drinking, sports loving, NASCAR fanatic. Actually, a bit of a redneck...in a nice, country boy kind of way. We get a long fabulously. Neither of us hold a strong opinion of marriage---but we talk about a future together. He has been divorced for 14 years. As soon as ex removes my name from our mortgage, I plan on purchasing a house, and it looks like we will move in together. We've found what we want, a small, cottage with a large shop and a the perfect yard for cookouts and bbq's===which we do almost every weekend.
Is it a forever thing? I'm too much of a cynic to look at forever. But, today, I am happy. I care for him. Love???? I love my children, I love my job, I love my life, but love is not the word for what we have. We are companions. We are compatible. And I find him to be utterly sexy!
He is different enough from me to be interesting. He has his own mind, his own thoughts...dex never did and it made me crazy!!!! husband had no interests outside of me and well, it was often suffocating.
So...if you made it this far, then thanks....
I left on May 26---officially.
husband proceeded to stalk me for the next 2.5 months.
In August, after my nephews wedding, pcdaughter was following me to the reception. I went through a yellow light, she followed, the three cars in front of me stopped suddenly to turn into a bank, and bam---accident. Totaled her car---did over $10,000 in damage to mine---took 2 months to get car back and money for hers, so she and I begged and bummed rides to work for that time.
In September, I fell and broke my arm/wrist---
In Jan. I woke up with both arms and both hands tingling, numb, and weakened to the point that I could not open a diet coke can tab or a door. After an emergency room visit ( I know ya'll have horror stories about er's, but mine is great), I was diagnosis with spinal compression to the point that the wrong movement would severe my spinal cord, and I was transferred 60 miles to the large medical university south of my small town. I was there for 5 days, had surgery the next Sat., and came home the next day.
While there they also discovered a benign tumor in my parotid gland (the large salivary gland). We are watching it and will do another MRI in July to reassess---they like to remove---but it is located near my facial nerve and well....not ready for that yet.
I still have a lot of muscle spasms in my neck and seem to have permanent nerve damage in my arms and hands. Time will tell. I am in pain/uncomfortable, most of the time.
But, despite all of this---I have never been happier with my life.
I put a post on facebook last night and promised Suzie and Witz I'd update here...
In August, the week after the wreck, I ran into an old hs friend. We began seeing each other casually after that. When I broke my arm, he was helpful. When I had surgery in January, he was wonderful. I ended up staying with him after surgery so he could take care of me. And he has, as much as I'd let him. I couldn't drive for six weeks, and his job allowed him to pick me up from work everyday and run me to my homebound students.
He is nothing like husband---and many of our friends (yes, we still run with the same group of friends we ran with 30 years ago) doubted we'd last. He is a truck driver, body builder, beer drinking, sports loving, NASCAR fanatic. Actually, a bit of a redneck...in a nice, country boy kind of way. We get a long fabulously. Neither of us hold a strong opinion of marriage---but we talk about a future together. He has been divorced for 14 years. As soon as ex removes my name from our mortgage, I plan on purchasing a house, and it looks like we will move in together. We've found what we want, a small, cottage with a large shop and a the perfect yard for cookouts and bbq's===which we do almost every weekend.
Is it a forever thing? I'm too much of a cynic to look at forever. But, today, I am happy. I care for him. Love???? I love my children, I love my job, I love my life, but love is not the word for what we have. We are companions. We are compatible. And I find him to be utterly sexy!
He is different enough from me to be interesting. He has his own mind, his own thoughts...dex never did and it made me crazy!!!! husband had no interests outside of me and well, it was often suffocating.
So...if you made it this far, then thanks....
Sounds like love to me!!! 
