All in all the tweedles had a good first meeting....they both were very excited to see one another. There was a great deal of prep work on both ends; both by the in home tdocs & husband, myself, foster mum & dad. Boundaries being the biggest issues; competition the next. I'm not sure about wm, but kt wanted to bring & "show" wm every single computer game she owns, has owned & plans to own in the future. Knowing wm, he had the same ideas about gameboy games or some such thing. There has always been a high level of "I'm better than you are" between the two of them. Doesn't matter what we're talking about. Even though gifts were "nixed" wm snuck one in for kt. Of course, kt was guilt ridden. Having said that, there were some very dark & disturbing issues brought up by wm that have been totally blocked from kt's memory. As kt's agitation level went through the roof she was removed from the office to another office with the 2 female tdocs. wm was confused & just a tad angry; he didn't understand what the problem was.....he & the male therapist spent time processing that. wm accepted what he was told with no argument. Hence my reluctance to share much here - to preserve some privacy for my children. There is another meeting between kt & wm on Monday morning; we are having a few extra meetings this month between the 2 of them because of the planned holiday dinner (you know - that family event with 3 therapists in attendance). Suffice it to say, even with that level of visits this month, we are proceeding with extreme caution & forethought. If the adoption/attachment/trauma specialist feels this is too much for wm or for kt we will back down quickly. And....my heart breaks just a bit more, while at the same time becomes more determined for my children. The anger I felt toward the bio parents has melted because it's too much effort; takes away from kt & wm's needs.