update on my difficult child - suspension extended???

Discussion in 'General Parenting' started by Nancy423, Nov 17, 2008.

  1. Nancy423

    Nancy423 do I have to be the mom?

    She started throwing up this afternoon and husband was sure it was from stress from last week's episode. He thinks she's so upset from the attack and arrest. Luckily the dr I work for fit her in. He also looked at her head (she lost all her hair this fall from a fungal infection) and there's no new growth, plus 1/2 her eyelashes ahve fallen out. So now he wanted to do some blood work for thyroid and liver function. husband wanted all this on record as evidence that the actions the school took last thurs has had a huge impact on her (stress).

    my poor difficult child. she really wants to go back to school.

    Oh that reminds me, I hired an advocate. He can't make it to ameeting until next week, so I postponedthe IEP until Wed before T-giving. The principal will not accept her back into school until the meeting! He's got a copy of the Risk Assessment but still won't let her back. The assessment says she's not a risk so husband doesn't understand why or how the school can keep her out another 2-3 days. They are damaging her acedemic success and I can't do anything about it.

    and to top it off, I have a test on wed and i canNOT concentrate.....:(
  2. Shari

    Shari IsItFridayYet?

    I don't blame you for waiting til the advocate can go with you, but anyway he/she can give you some input on what the school is doing (keeping her out) and giving you some pointers on applying some heat?

    This is crazy.
  3. smallworld

    smallworld Moderator

    Is the meeting next Wednesday a Manifestation Hearing?
  4. susiestar

    susiestar Roll With It

    Hop over to the Special Education forum and post about the extended suspension. I am pretty sure this is not OK, but over there someone will know specifically what it violates.

    I am sorry. I know it is hard when they want to go and can't. My Jess wants to go to school so bad, but she just physically and emotionally isn't up to it.

    Give your girl some hugs, and maybe some fun activities like making salt dough ornaments or cookies or somesuch for hte holidays. Maybe even tracing cookie cutters onto felt and them cutting them out and painting them for Christmas ornaments. Family fun has a lot of good ideas on their website (www.familyfun.com)
  5. slsh

    slsh member since 1999

    I agree with- Susie - check in with- sped 101. The fact that the BIP was *not* followed and yet she was suspended is plain wrong. Since the incident occurred on the 13th and IEP mtg is next Wednesday (and suspension until then), the SD is within the law but... well, I think they stepped in it big time by not following the BIP. Substitute or not - it's there for a reason, you know?

    You need to remember that they can only suspend her for 10 school days per school year - as of next Wed, they've burned up 9. I hope your advocate is helpful for you - sounds like you need some help getting the principal onboard.

    I'm sorry your baby girl is so stressed. It really burns my toast when our kids suffer because the professionals in their lives aren't doing what they're supposed to be doing.
  6. Nancy423

    Nancy423 do I have to be the mom?

    Can they/we consider these extra days as part of the suspension? There's nothing in writing, only what the principal said to me yesterday. Ya know, I just realized that I don't even have a letter of suspension....previously the other principals gave me one immediately when i had to get her from school. (and those were only 1 day suspensions)

    and No, it's not a manifestation (to my knowledge) but an IEP/BIP and placement review.

    is the school supposed to do any kind of incident report in her school file? wondering if I can get a copy for the advocate.
  7. susiestar

    susiestar Roll With It

    They are supposed to give you a letter of suspension, and WILL have to note it in her school file. They have just dropped the ball all around on this one, in my humble opinion.

    Def go up to the school and get a copy of her school file - you have a right to a copy of any and EVERY thing in it - and it may be helpful. I always go and get a copy of the IEP a couple of weeks AFTER I sign it (because we had one sped teach who added entire pages and sections and forged my sig).

    However many school days she is out go to their total of 10 days per year. And if they are not having a manifestation hearing, they should be. I am willing to bet it will turn into that - but that they won't tell you ahead of time because they don't want you to prepare for it - a typical trick schools can pull.

    Hugs, I know this is hard for you AND fo rher. Have they sent any work so she doesn't fall behind?
  8. Nancy423

    Nancy423 do I have to be the mom?

    so in other words, warn the advocate that it may turn into a manifestation hearing. I did get the advice from the advocate to write a letter telling them I'll be in to look at her file and to be ready to copy (with me paying of course). I was hoping to do that on Friday so I'd have copies for the advocate. Guess I should get that letter drawn up huh? Wonder if there's a nice template floating around. Would emailing it to the principal be ok? (time crunch) or should I just drop it off at the school tomorrow?

    yes, her teachers have been wonderful and actually miss her. We've got 1/2 the assignments, and the other 1/2 should be emailed in the day day or two. Her afternoon teacher wanted to go light on her and I told her not to. She's already 2-3 grade levels behind!
  9. smallworld

    smallworld Moderator

    The advocate should be telling you what to expect at the meeting. That's what you're paying her for. She should be finding out exactly what type of meeting this is before you both walk through the door of the school next Wednesday.

    FWIW, the meeting sounds like a manifestation determination. The IEP team will review all information about your child and determine if the negative behavior was caused by the child's disability, had a direct and substantial relationship to the disability, or was the result of the school's failure to implement the IEP.

    The IEP team must answer several questions: Is the child's IEP appropriate? Is the child's placement appropriate? Did the school provide appropriate behavior intervention strategies? Did the child's disability impair the child's ability to understand the impact and concequences of the behavior?

    If the child's behavior was a manifestation of the disability, the IEP team will conduct an FBA and implement a BIP. If a BIP was developed previously, it should be modified to address behavior as necessary. If the child's behavior did not involve weapons, drugs or serious bodily injury, the child should return to the previous placement.

    It will be interesting to see if your SD interprets biting the substitute teacher as serious bodily injury. by the way, if the child's behavior involves serious bodily injury, the child may be suspended for 45 days even if the behavior was a manifestation of the disability. The child is still entitled to FAPE (source: Wrightslaw).
    Last edited: Nov 18, 2008
  10. Jena

    Jena New Member

    I'm soo late to this. I am sorry. I just wanted to wish you luck, hope she feels better, that is so rough.

    Also advocates are great, and waiting for advocate to be with you will hopefully make it that much more beneficial. Great move on your part.

    ((( hugs)))
  11. slsh

    slsh member since 1999

    Since you don't have anything in writing re: this suspension, I'd send a letter of understanding to principal to document conversation yesterday, certified, with cc: sped director.

    Something along the lines of Dear Principal, I want to document my understanding of our phone conversation yesterday, 11/17/2008. You have stated that Jane (difficult child) is not welcome back in school until after the IEP meeting that will be held on 11/whatever it is. This will result in the total suspension time for the incident on 11/13/2008 being 9 days.

    Please place this letter in Jane's permanent school record. Please contact me if there are any questions. Blah blah blah.
  12. totoro

    totoro Mom? What's a GFG?

    Just wanted to offer my support and huge hugs to you and your family during this time. What a stress. I have yet to and hopefully never will go through anything like this.
    I hope your poor difficult child can get through this with not much more stress put upon her. The SD needs to think about the well fair of these kids.
    I hope her tests results show nothing bad.
  13. Nancy423

    Nancy423 do I have to be the mom?

    This is all so over my head. I've been alone in doing these IEP's for the last 8 years and it's showing. We've just never been able to afford anyone, still can't really.
    From your description of a manifestation hearing, then yes, that's what it will be. They jsut didn't say that in so many words. I am doing some research that probably should have been done a few years back. I guess I really never thought it would get this rough.:naive:
    I just faxed over a request for school records (to the Special Education facilitator and cc the principal) but I put them on such a short time frame - telling them I'd like it all by friday. Yeah, I'll be hearing from the saying that there's no way to do that. Then I have nothing to go into this manifestation meeting with. If I had only known last year to do this I'd be set!!! I'm so mad at myself.
    meanwhile, my son says he's not feeling well, difficult child got mad that she had to stay home (thought she was coming to work with me for some reason) and husband is peeved that he's home with- them. Stress is really making my life h***.
  14. smallworld

    smallworld Moderator

    Offer to go in and xerox the records yourself. That will take the burden off of the school.

    The website www.wrightslaw.com has a lot of great Special Education info.
  15. Ropefree

    Ropefree Banned

    Nancy 432: How awful I am so sorry you are going through this. Hope that you do find the advocate has energy and ambition helping your daughter. WAiting is better for you because the questions for her safty are is the school protecting her properly I mean, is this due to the uninformed and inappropriate sub assigned? Or is the neglect actually indifference on the part of the principle?
    It is AMAZING that your daughter is so intent on going back to school! WOW!
    If she is in public school and they are unwilling to accomidate her appropriately is there a alternative that you have reason to believe would do the job correctly for her needs? Is this a situation where you can have the DOE fund her educational needs being neglected in a private institution with more talored accomidations for the learner?
  16. DDD

    DDD Well-Known Member

    Nancy, as I posted before I suspect this is a Manifestation Hearing. They
    do not tell you that in advance. Your advocate should be on top of the entire situation and be advising you....no matter how smart you are, you can not afford to guess or try to float through this procedure. The deck IS stacked AGAINST you.

    How many minutes does it take you to walk from your bedroom to your kitchen?

    For the school to walk a file from the file room to the front desk should take less time than that.

    Do not think that you are inconveniencing them. They are trying to interrupt your daughters progress toward adulthood.

    Keep it simple. Keep emotion out of it. Don't take any shortcuts. If you have to miss a class or work...do it. It is not fun but it is necessary. DDD
  17. Nancy423

    Nancy423 do I have to be the mom?

    You guys have been a fountain of info and I'm so thankful! And no, I do not intend to "float" thru the IEPs any longer!!! I feel invincible! lol just kidding. I do feel a little better than I felt this morning.

    I cheated and look at the faxes this morning - found difficult child's lab results. I can't say what the dr will do with them when he sees them. She's a bit low in the thyroid stimulating hormone, suggestive of hyperthyroidism, however exhibits hypo symptoms. Go figure. She also has a slightly elevated bilirubin. could be consistant with- dehydration or stress. I've also been researching alopecia areata and we might end up going to get a biopsy of her scalp. Poor girl.

    Oh and it shouldn't take them long to copy her file since her file is most likely out on the Special Education facilitator's desk!

    My daughter has always been happy to go to school even if there's a test or something she doesnt' want to take part it (ie. work that's frustrating to her)
    Last edited: Nov 18, 2008