Forums
New posts
Search forums
What's new
New posts
New profile posts
Latest activity
Internet Search
Members
Current visitors
New profile posts
Search profile posts
Log in
Register
What's new
Search
Search
Search titles only
By:
New posts
Search forums
Menu
Log in
Register
Install the app
Install
Forums
Parent Support Forums
Parent Emeritus
Update on my present adventures....
JavaScript is disabled. For a better experience, please enable JavaScript in your browser before proceeding.
You are using an out of date browser. It may not display this or other websites correctly.
You should upgrade or use an
alternative browser
.
Reply to thread
Message
<blockquote data-quote="recoveringenabler" data-source="post: 687392" data-attributes="member: 13542"><p>Thank you! Your support means a lot and is always helpful.</p><p></p><p>After a lot of thinking and communicating, I decided to stick with my original boundary. At the time, it felt difficult, in fact it felt like one of the hardest choices I've faced with my daughter. Only this time, I was armed with a background of the two year codependency course I took a few years ago and all the tools I've learned over the years. I got a lot of support.</p><p></p><p>At one point when I was talking to my husband and pondering how I would feel if something dreadful happened to my daughter after I dropped her off and while we were gone. He said, <em>"don't let the what if's control your life." </em> I've heard that before, but in that moment I really got it on a deeper level. I realized the remarkable level of powerlessness I have in my daughter's life. Her destiny is completely out of my control.</p><p></p><p>I have a history of running in to the future to figure out how I can avert disaster. I can't do that anymore....I just don't have that kind of control. And......it is such an enormous relief.</p><p></p><p>She was in some back pain Wednesday morning so I took her to my chiropractor who had agreed to see her awhile back for a nominal fee. Then we both went to my acupuncturist. We left there feeling so much better. My acupuncturist (and friend) gave my daughter her home phone number and said to call her if she ran into any problems. That was such a sweet and supportive gesture, it brought me to tears. It seems to me that when we let go of control, others step in to help. We stopped and picked up sandwiches and candy bars for all the roommates. I did what felt right to get her in the best shape I could to send her on her journey. I dropped her off to deal with her broken and scattered things and where she would go..... and asked her to text me later in the evening to let me know she was safe.</p><p></p><p>I went to bed not having heard from her and I opted to not text her. I let it go.</p><p></p><p>She fell asleep and texted me at 5:15 the next morning that she was "okay and everything was fine."</p><p>She knows I am leaving today and sincerely wished me a good trip and told me not to worry.</p><p></p><p>I didn't ask any questions, I'm not sure what her plans are.</p><p></p><p>I feel relief and a sense of an "opening,"........ my daughter, my granddaughter and I are on our separate paths now.....connected by love.....whatever happens is what happens, it feels better then it ever has to say that recognizing that there isn't anything I have to do.......</p><p></p><p>We leave today for San Francisco and fly out tomorrow. My acupuncturist told me on the way out the door, "leave all of this behind you and go have FUN, that is your job now." That's exactly what I am going to do now. It feels good.</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="recoveringenabler, post: 687392, member: 13542"] Thank you! Your support means a lot and is always helpful. After a lot of thinking and communicating, I decided to stick with my original boundary. At the time, it felt difficult, in fact it felt like one of the hardest choices I've faced with my daughter. Only this time, I was armed with a background of the two year codependency course I took a few years ago and all the tools I've learned over the years. I got a lot of support. At one point when I was talking to my husband and pondering how I would feel if something dreadful happened to my daughter after I dropped her off and while we were gone. He said, [I]"don't let the what if's control your life." [/I] I've heard that before, but in that moment I really got it on a deeper level. I realized the remarkable level of powerlessness I have in my daughter's life. Her destiny is completely out of my control. I have a history of running in to the future to figure out how I can avert disaster. I can't do that anymore....I just don't have that kind of control. And......it is such an enormous relief. She was in some back pain Wednesday morning so I took her to my chiropractor who had agreed to see her awhile back for a nominal fee. Then we both went to my acupuncturist. We left there feeling so much better. My acupuncturist (and friend) gave my daughter her home phone number and said to call her if she ran into any problems. That was such a sweet and supportive gesture, it brought me to tears. It seems to me that when we let go of control, others step in to help. We stopped and picked up sandwiches and candy bars for all the roommates. I did what felt right to get her in the best shape I could to send her on her journey. I dropped her off to deal with her broken and scattered things and where she would go..... and asked her to text me later in the evening to let me know she was safe. I went to bed not having heard from her and I opted to not text her. I let it go. She fell asleep and texted me at 5:15 the next morning that she was "okay and everything was fine." She knows I am leaving today and sincerely wished me a good trip and told me not to worry. I didn't ask any questions, I'm not sure what her plans are. I feel relief and a sense of an "opening,"........ my daughter, my granddaughter and I are on our separate paths now.....connected by love.....whatever happens is what happens, it feels better then it ever has to say that recognizing that there isn't anything I have to do....... We leave today for San Francisco and fly out tomorrow. My acupuncturist told me on the way out the door, "leave all of this behind you and go have FUN, that is your job now." That's exactly what I am going to do now. It feels good. [/QUOTE]
Insert quotes…
Verification
Post reply
Forums
Parent Support Forums
Parent Emeritus
Update on my present adventures....
Top