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Update on my present adventures....
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<blockquote data-quote="recoveringenabler" data-source="post: 687693" data-attributes="member: 13542"><p>Thought I would let you know how my trip to see my Mother is going......</p><p></p><p>Yesterday was the best Mothers Day I think I've ever had. My husband, brother and I took Mom out to dinner and it may have been the nicest time I've spent with the two family members I am still in relationship with. As many of you know, I have a family riddled with mental illness, abuse and toxicity. I've worked hard and long to heal myself of that beginning, especially on the relationship with my mother. My mother will be 91 on Tuesday. Our relationship feels healed. I saw it as an acknowledgment of both of our willingness over the years to do the hard work of expressing our truths. I felt enormous love and connection with my mother. It was a joy.</p><p></p><p>On the way to dinner, my granddaughter called and we 'face timed' with her. My mother was thrilled! She had never done that before and she loved being able to 'see' her. After dinner my daughter called and talked to both of us. My daughter went to great lengths while in jail to purchase cards for my mother and make sure they arrived in time for Mothers Day.</p><p></p><p>My granddaughter posted an article on FB about how difficult Mothers Day is for daughters who have a difficult relationship with their mothers. It was a poignant article. She put her feelings out there for all to see, wishing all wonderful mothers a happy day and asking those who knew her to read the article. She then posted a picture of she and I and said, "the real MVP, happy Mothers day to the person who never gave up on me." To say I was touched would be a colossal understatement......... then she texted me a private message she sent to her mother, where she expressed her truths in a compassionate and yet very honest way, telling her mom that she was grateful for the opportunity to be born but that my daughter offered her no real mothering, and went on to share her very own experience of her mother in a heartfelt yet clear way. I have always encouraged this honesty because that level of expression is what has made all the difference between my own mother and me. At the end of her message to her mom she wrote, <em>"all I have to say is thank God for your mother because I wouldn't be the person I am today without her picking up your pieces." </em></p><p></p><p>My granddaughter and I then spoke about the day. I told her how proud I am of her. I told her that I had done a lot to heal the relationships I've had with my mother and my daughter and it has gotten me to a place of forgiveness and love and that she, at her tender age of 20 has already accomplished so much healing with her Mom. I told her that she was the hope now, that the era of abuse and bad mothering is over and she begins a new era, that she is the future where love reigns.</p><p></p><p>Later my husband and I talked about what a remarkable day it's been for the 4 of us, my mother, me, my daughter and my granddaughter. It certainly feels as if an old, deep family wound has seen the light of truth and as a result has healed. I believe I've carried that torch of truth and the shining of it on the dark corners of abuse has burned the hurts away. Now my granddaughter is shining her own light and it is a powerful statement of her strength and her compassionate heart. I could not be more proud of her.</p><p></p><p>My daughter was as optimistic and positive as I've heard her, she appears to be traveling on a different path. It's up to her to heal her relationship with her daughter, I hope she can do that, but that's between them, all I can do is love them both and be present for them.</p><p></p><p>It was a big day for me. It feels as if I have accomplished what I set out to do...... heal my relationship with my own mother, detach from my daughter in a loving way and raise my granddaughter to be a compassionate, strong, honest and loving woman. I can't put into words how much this all means to me. We're all on our separate and yet connected journeys in ways I'd always dreamed of. I am deeply grateful. My greatest Mothers day wish has come to be.</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="recoveringenabler, post: 687693, member: 13542"] Thought I would let you know how my trip to see my Mother is going...... Yesterday was the best Mothers Day I think I've ever had. My husband, brother and I took Mom out to dinner and it may have been the nicest time I've spent with the two family members I am still in relationship with. As many of you know, I have a family riddled with mental illness, abuse and toxicity. I've worked hard and long to heal myself of that beginning, especially on the relationship with my mother. My mother will be 91 on Tuesday. Our relationship feels healed. I saw it as an acknowledgment of both of our willingness over the years to do the hard work of expressing our truths. I felt enormous love and connection with my mother. It was a joy. On the way to dinner, my granddaughter called and we 'face timed' with her. My mother was thrilled! She had never done that before and she loved being able to 'see' her. After dinner my daughter called and talked to both of us. My daughter went to great lengths while in jail to purchase cards for my mother and make sure they arrived in time for Mothers Day. My granddaughter posted an article on FB about how difficult Mothers Day is for daughters who have a difficult relationship with their mothers. It was a poignant article. She put her feelings out there for all to see, wishing all wonderful mothers a happy day and asking those who knew her to read the article. She then posted a picture of she and I and said, "the real MVP, happy Mothers day to the person who never gave up on me." To say I was touched would be a colossal understatement......... then she texted me a private message she sent to her mother, where she expressed her truths in a compassionate and yet very honest way, telling her mom that she was grateful for the opportunity to be born but that my daughter offered her no real mothering, and went on to share her very own experience of her mother in a heartfelt yet clear way. I have always encouraged this honesty because that level of expression is what has made all the difference between my own mother and me. At the end of her message to her mom she wrote, [I]"all I have to say is thank God for your mother because I wouldn't be the person I am today without her picking up your pieces." [/I] My granddaughter and I then spoke about the day. I told her how proud I am of her. I told her that I had done a lot to heal the relationships I've had with my mother and my daughter and it has gotten me to a place of forgiveness and love and that she, at her tender age of 20 has already accomplished so much healing with her Mom. I told her that she was the hope now, that the era of abuse and bad mothering is over and she begins a new era, that she is the future where love reigns. Later my husband and I talked about what a remarkable day it's been for the 4 of us, my mother, me, my daughter and my granddaughter. It certainly feels as if an old, deep family wound has seen the light of truth and as a result has healed. I believe I've carried that torch of truth and the shining of it on the dark corners of abuse has burned the hurts away. Now my granddaughter is shining her own light and it is a powerful statement of her strength and her compassionate heart. I could not be more proud of her. My daughter was as optimistic and positive as I've heard her, she appears to be traveling on a different path. It's up to her to heal her relationship with her daughter, I hope she can do that, but that's between them, all I can do is love them both and be present for them. It was a big day for me. It feels as if I have accomplished what I set out to do...... heal my relationship with my own mother, detach from my daughter in a loving way and raise my granddaughter to be a compassionate, strong, honest and loving woman. I can't put into words how much this all means to me. We're all on our separate and yet connected journeys in ways I'd always dreamed of. I am deeply grateful. My greatest Mothers day wish has come to be. [/QUOTE]
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