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Update on my present adventures....
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<blockquote data-quote="Copabanana" data-source="post: 687798" data-attributes="member: 18958"><p>I purposely did not read the other replies because I did not want to be swayed.</p><p></p><p>If It were me, and I was who I am now, I would let her stay in my house with rules. No visitors would be rule number one rule.</p><p></p><p>Let me explain my reasoning: About 3 months ago we took a big risk with my son who had showed up at my door one night at 10pm when I had told him the day before he could not stay at my house, even one night. (He had been in another city and that had been fine by me.)</p><p></p><p>After 2 days I kicked him out. He found a place in some shack behind this woman's house.</p><p></p><p>My SO, M, and I had been in conversation about the possibility of buying a fixer upper house for my son to live eventually. The view of M was the only way that my son would get better would be close in with us. He did not get the detachment memo. </p><p></p><p>A property came available: A house with a 2 bedroom apartment over the garages. We felt it gave us a lot of flexibility and we would not lose money on the deal.</p><p></p><p>I told my son. I am buying a house for you to live. You will have to help fix it up and you will have to pay rent. OMG. He beamed with happiness. He had been four plus years out of my house and over 2 years homeless in 4 counties.</p><p></p><p>He seemed ready to work with us. So we began. He has been working for 2 months most days. While there is backsliding he is ceding more and more and going by our rules, more and more. To a greater and greater extent we tighten things up. We are at the point where it is no marijuana or caffeine pills or any other drug while you are living with us. Not on the porch. Not on the street. You use drugs, you leave.</p><p></p><p>He is more and more around us and wants to be. It is stressful because he is a poor listener and still wants to dominate but I love him near me. I am hugging him and kissing him. I feel my son is back from the wilderness and I am too.</p><p></p><p>I do not know how much of this can pertain to your daughter's situation and your own with her. But sometimes it is the time to risk for love.</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="Copabanana, post: 687798, member: 18958"] I purposely did not read the other replies because I did not want to be swayed. If It were me, and I was who I am now, I would let her stay in my house with rules. No visitors would be rule number one rule. Let me explain my reasoning: About 3 months ago we took a big risk with my son who had showed up at my door one night at 10pm when I had told him the day before he could not stay at my house, even one night. (He had been in another city and that had been fine by me.) After 2 days I kicked him out. He found a place in some shack behind this woman's house. My SO, M, and I had been in conversation about the possibility of buying a fixer upper house for my son to live eventually. The view of M was the only way that my son would get better would be close in with us. He did not get the detachment memo. A property came available: A house with a 2 bedroom apartment over the garages. We felt it gave us a lot of flexibility and we would not lose money on the deal. I told my son. I am buying a house for you to live. You will have to help fix it up and you will have to pay rent. OMG. He beamed with happiness. He had been four plus years out of my house and over 2 years homeless in 4 counties. He seemed ready to work with us. So we began. He has been working for 2 months most days. While there is backsliding he is ceding more and more and going by our rules, more and more. To a greater and greater extent we tighten things up. We are at the point where it is no marijuana or caffeine pills or any other drug while you are living with us. Not on the porch. Not on the street. You use drugs, you leave. He is more and more around us and wants to be. It is stressful because he is a poor listener and still wants to dominate but I love him near me. I am hugging him and kissing him. I feel my son is back from the wilderness and I am too. I do not know how much of this can pertain to your daughter's situation and your own with her. But sometimes it is the time to risk for love. [/QUOTE]
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