Where to begin? Baby diva is well and such a bright spot in my day. Something about the crisis made me really just stop and absorb every moment with her I could. I took nothing for granted and just relished in her company. It's so easy to miss some things when preoccupied with stress. husband is well too. He had a long day but he made it. I did my best to pamper him because honestly I was more worried about his aches and state of mind than mine. I told him today was his "princess day" and he better take me up on it because it was a once in a lifetime oppportunity. He "ate" a giant chocolate malt shake because his head and teeth hurt. I got him a starbucks coffee because he is addicted to caffiene. His mood and pain lifted quickly. Then I took him to a local grand opening of a tractor supply store, a candy shop for the boy in him. By the time he was done playing in aisles of tools and picking a couple tiny goodies he had the sweetest smile and glow in his eyes that I rarely get to witness anymore. I am well but flip flop from feelings of peace to sorrow for difficult child's suffering. I guess it is to be expected. After a good nights sleep I am sure all will be clearer. Got other various bits of good to great non difficult child news today so it wasn't a complete loss. Ah, and for difficult child... He is just going to be on zyprexa and is not taking either of his old medications, risperdal and lexapro. According to the nurse I spoke with zyprexa is the same class as risperdal (antipsychotic), is newer, better, used for BiPolar (BP), mood swings and aggression. Okay, I trust the process and am rather pleased the transition is NOT at home because these things can go south very quickly. Not all parents are warrior parents so I am not feeling too terribly displeased about the lack of explanation from psychiatrist, at least for now. Though, there does seem to be a lengthy process and series of people hoops to see prior to being granted a moment of psychiatrists time. Each facility has it's own program so whatever. I asked if difficult child's one daily call was ingoing or outgoing. It can be either. I think the limited communication is ideal and gives him time to do his own thing without concerns about home. difficult child did voluntarily schedule a call for later tonight. I asked nurse if he was agitated still because a call may not be a good idea. Nurse said difficult child was well and in a good mood. Of course, why wouldn't he be? nurse and I dicussed length of stay. He was very frank and said that ultimately it is an insurance decision though they hate that it is that way. Ideally difficult child will stabilize on new medication before coming home. I mentioned something about his mood and positive behavior and the nurse picked up on it like a cobra lunging. It was as if this man was an angel from heaven and he got into all of our minds in here because he expressed such a skilled knowledge of difficult child, odd, beast at home, perfect in public manipulation that I knew instantly that my difficult child is in the hands of real experts. This guy said that although a rare few have fooled him he can smell from a mile away a kid who is behaving just to get out but really working them over. Do actual professionals who not only believe you but totally understand you really exist? Someone pinch me!! The rest was standard stuff about visits, follow up care ect. After knowing my difficult child was in the presence of psychiatric nurse greatness there wasn't much else I wanted or needed to know. Any last concern melted away when this very upbeat and hip psychiatric nurse told me he had 24 years experience. I could hear in his voice that he still loves his job. *gasp* The DCFS thing seems okay. We may or may not face a founded case status but it isn't the dark sinister evil I feared. Worst case they get in our business and help us get things in order. goodness forbid I should have some intensive help and people to call, lol. As far as any removals, they only yank kids if there is an immediate danger. Now that we are all safe we pretty much get by with a maximum of a hassle and extra services. I can also get services if the case is unfounded. So, I can rest easily knowing no state boogie man is going to steal my babies. The idea of a founded case bugs me in principle but as long as we don't make it a habit or hobby it should go away eventually. I already know most of the workers here locally have no time or energy for us and have bigger fish to fry. Were not an abusive, neglectful family. Sure, last night may have been handled differently but we have done a lot of work and kept lots of records on how we manage a violent 6'2" young man. It's not like we put smokes out on him in a drunken rage, you know? He has a history of issues and we have a history of asking for and getting him the best help we can. Nobodies perfect. My only slight hurdle is that his psychiatric hospital stay may not be long. I hate to initiate some Residential Treatment Center (RTC) situation and disrupt his school only due to the fact that my mom is moving here and may not be able to get settled in to take him for 4 to 6 weeks. In the meantime I know dcfs wants him home but we can't take him so a short term lapse in plan is potentially upcoming. inensive services still do not make me feel safe. Not a crisis I just want to make sure it doesn't disrupt difficult child too much because I know no matter what he can't stay here anymore. So sleepy, but today went as good as it possibly could considering the circumstances. Maybe I should wait to call the ins. company. lol Oh yeah, almost forgot the bonus round...Special Education teacher is a saint. She briefly talked with 2 admin, the same two who fought us tooth and nail over the iep. Suddenly, in a small way they finally saw the light and felt dissapointed for difficult child because he was doing so well. (so well he proved their point that he need no iep) I am no longer the crazy mom who makes things up!!!!!!!! psychiatric nurse was totally clued into the concept that we "hope" difficult child melts down in the hospital so we can get the right help. The man is a genius, I swear.