update on son and his weed

Discussion in 'Substance Abuse' started by UpandDown, May 18, 2016.

  1. UpandDown

    UpandDown Active Member

    I thought I would update as to some good news! Over the past several months, my husband and I have changed our approach as to our son's marijuana use. We tried hard to let him know we strongly disapproved but that we couldn't control what he chooses to do outside of our home. We stopped fighting him. He was smoking ALL the time. As a result, we told him as soon as school gets out he is required to pay for the insurance on his car and get a job. That is in addition to paying for his own gas which he already does. Things were very tense for a few days and he was extremely angry and stressed. Now for the good news. Late one night, he went to my husband and asked if he gave up smoking, would my husband teach him how to fix cars. He wants to do this to develop a career path for himself. He hasn't smoked in a few days at all. That right there is progress. Now I also am smart enough to realize he may very well start up again but just seeing the signs that he cares and wants more for himself is fantastic. With the weed out of the picture, he is realizing that physically he is hurting from his anxiety. He even told me today that he has realized that although weed numbs his mind out, it makes him feel physically worse. I know we have a long way to go but I am starting to see some of the very first signs of wanting to change. He has underlying mental health issues, so I am just happy that for now we can work on those without the mind numbing marijuana.
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  2. pigless in VA

    pigless in VA Well-Known Member

    That's great U&D! What is the status of him taking prescription medications? Does he have any interest in exploring anti-depressants again? Personally, I think if he stays away from weed that he will begin to feel somewhat better without other drugs.
  3. UpandDown

    UpandDown Active Member

    pigless:He took the antidepressants that were prescribed after his last "meltdown" for only about 10 days. That is his pattern. I do think he would benefit from something but due to the fact that he NEVER sticks with the medications and usually stops cold turkey, its a show stopper for now. I am trying to gently encourage him to try exercise again. His therapist recommended yoga which amazingly he has asked me if he could try. He is in a lot of pain and does want relief. He said something very interesting today which I only caught part of. He said, "thats why I like growing up and getting closer to 18 because I can make my own decisions, like deciding myself that I don't want to keep smoking weed. " I almost fell over. He never ceases to amaze me.
  4. Roxona

    Roxona Active Member

    I wish J would quit smoking weed, but I don't know if it will ever happen. He suffers from anxiety like your son does, and doesn't want to take anything in pill form to help it. He is worried that he will abuse the pills.
  5. ForeverSpring

    ForeverSpring Well-Known Member

    Nobody abuses antidepressants. No high to it and they do help anxiety. On the other hand, pot IS abused by many. Constant pot does affect motivation, at the very least.
  6. Roxona

    Roxona Active Member

    SWOT, he reacts that way to all medications, including Tylenol. He's always been weird about medications, even as a small child. I personally will never take another second generation SSRI again in my life. The side effects from being late or missing a dose is like going through DTs. No thank you!!! Go to counseling instead...especially EMDR. Get to the root of the problem is what I say.
  7. UpandDown

    UpandDown Active Member

    I don't understand my son's strong resistance to medication. Even though he has tried medications many times, he never takes them long enough to take effect.
  8. ForeverSpring

    ForeverSpring Well-Known Member

    I'm sensitive to medications. I get it.

    Tylenol puts me to sleep...lol. Honest.

    EMDR is for certain types of PTSD. It doesn't always work either and there can be side effects, just like with medications.

    Nothing works for all mental health patients.

    Some patients sadly can find no relief.

    Psychiatry is still basically in its infancy.
  9. Roxona

    Roxona Active Member

    EMDR isn't just for PTSD. It's also used on high intelligent people who will not or cannot open up. I didn't have PTSD and it worked wonders for me. I suffered from heavy depression for many, many years. Tried medications. Tried talk therapy. Nothing worked, but that did. I haven't had depression since. As for the anxiety, well I still have that.

    What side effects have you experienced with EMDR?
  10. ForeverSpring

    ForeverSpring Well-Known Member

    None, but I read about them. They wanted me to try it, but after studying it and reading personal stories, figured I was doing good without doing something like that.

    Like I said, different things work for different people and if something works for you or me, we are probably thankful and grateful to that particular method. But the honest truth is, every mental health patient is unique and psychiatry is not yet at a point where anyone knows for sure what will work for a particular problem. I'm glad EMDR worked for you. Didn't know it was used for depression. Happy it did do well for you and that you are doing so much better.

    I have an acquaintance who was greatly helped by ECT, but I would never do it. I know it's modified from older days, but it's still not for me.
  11. ForeverSpring

    ForeverSpring Well-Known Member

    Thought: It is much harder to stop anxiety than depression, it seems. Therapy works best for my anxiety, but it's a struggle. The medications literally stopped my horrific depressions though. Anxiety is debilitating too for some (sigh). Interesting that EMDR stopped your depression, but not anxiety.
    Wonder why anxiety is so hard to help.
  12. InsaneCdn

    InsaneCdn Well-Known Member

    One theory I've heard about is that while depression may be caused by or made worse by our thinking, it can have its roots in a genuine chemical imbalance in the brain. And a chemical imbalance is something that can be solved, at least for some people. But anxiety is pretty much a thinking problem - not a chemistry problem. So medication can't solve it, only therapy can. Some medications can mute our response to the anxiety somewhat, or reduce the hormones and chemicals produced by anxiety to reduce some of the side-effects of it but... we're just treating symptoms, not cause.
  13. Roxona

    Roxona Active Member

    Thanks. I'm glad it worked too. The reason she tried it on me was because I control my responses too much. I will think everything over before responding, and that is what had been stunting my recovery from depression all along. No one could ever get far enough "in" to find out what the root of the problem really was. My anxiety actually did stop for a couple of years after my EMDR treatment. However, when I remarried and was faced with SS10 being a Difficult Child, then J getting so heavily involved with drugs and the police calling me in the middle of the night....well that's when the panic attacks in my sleep started again. I wake up thinking I'm choking on crushed glass and it seems so real. I've gotten used to it now and generally just roll over and fall back asleep. The counselor who did the EMDR no longer sees patients, and I haven't found anyone I connect with like I did her. Otherwise, I'd be going back for more treatment.

    As for side effects, I don't think I had anything measureable, and the research I've done suggests there aren't many. The biggest "effect" I think people experience is from the intense processing of getting to the root of the issue. Suppressed memories will emerge and need to be processed. It can be extremely emotional and confusing I would think. However, I think this is essential to fix the actual problem. You have to bring the dirt up in order to get rid of it in my humble opinion.
  14. ForeverSpring

    ForeverSpring Well-Known Member

    Insane, certainly our thinking is a big part of our anxiety. At the same time, some of us that battle anxiety were born, for lack of better words, high strung. Part of my problem with my mother, I'm sure, is because I wouldn't cuddle into her and screamed non-stop and startled easily. So she propped bottle and did not hold me. In my baby book she wrote down that I cry a lot and was easily startled. My anxiety was inborn, but I was able to learn some skills in therapy to worry less.

    And, yes, it is all about changing thought processing. You are correct. No magic pill.

    Rox, thanks for explaining. Very interesting. Hopefully that and other non medication solutions become more and more common. This is very good for our kids who suffer from depression. Maybe more will be open to these types of treatments rather than medication.
  15. worried sick mother

    worried sick mother Active Member

    That's good news about your son , hopefully he can stick with it and how wonderful that he is showing interest in learning to work on cars. Doesn't sound like he has ever taken any medications long enough to see the results. That can take up to 6 weeks.
    When I found out about my son being in heroin is when I found out how anxiety feels. I thought I was going to die, almost went to the ER once, thought I was having a heart attack. I've been against taking medications for myself too but I had no choice. I've been on Zoloft for 7 weeks now and I finally have some relief. Hopefully I won't have to take it forever but for now I need it.
    Maybe you could get your son to just take something for 6-8 weeks and tell him if he isn't seeing results then he could stop taking it. Make a little deal with him.
  16. Nancy

    Nancy Well-Known Member Staff Member

    SWOT I often blame myself for causing my daughter's anxiety due to her living in a chaotic house with her sister. I'm not sure I could have done anything differently but I do feel partly responsible.
  17. ForeverSpring

    ForeverSpring Well-Known Member

    Nancy, I hear you. I feel partly responsible too for deciding to move to a new state and school with a shy, sensitive middle schooler. She tells me it isn't my fault but deep inside I feel and will always feel that this situation was partly responsible.
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  18. Copabanana

    Copabanana Well-Known Member

    My ears are perked up here.
    We have the same problem.
    Wow. This is great. I am trying to think what the motivator could be for my son. His only motivation seems to be for marijuana.
    So fantastic.
    This is phenomenal. I do not think one can overemphasize how great this is.
    My son, too. Anxiety and mood disorder. And ADHD.
    Nor does my own son.
    I think anxiety is so hard to treat because it is primarily an adaptive and functional emotion.

    Anxiety stems from the "flight or fight" response. Without anxiety we would not protect ourselves from danger, and we could not become socialized human beings, because we would not inhibit ourselves from doing anything, or not do anything.

    So anxiety in itself is not bad. It is when it is out of control, happening in generalized situations, and interferes with functioning rather than aiding it.
  19. InsaneCdn

    InsaneCdn Well-Known Member

    It's like stress. There is good stress and bad stress - but "no stress" isn't really an option if you are alive.
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