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Parent Emeritus
Update on special needs grandson custody
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<blockquote data-quote="recoveringenabler" data-source="post: 663158" data-attributes="member: 13542"><p>Tish, I am sorry you are going through these feelings. I get it too. In spades. I know the place you are in intimately. You know the choice I made. And, it cost me. It turned out okay and now that I am at the end of that journey, I am glad I did it. </p><p></p><p>BUT, the big BUT is that there were many times I reached the end of my rope, had more stress and worry and fear and anger and resentment than I thought was possible to hold in my body. I sought so much help because I knew I could never do it alone, not only to help with my granddaughter, but to help ME.</p><p></p><p>Tish, I am on the outside and my heart is not wrapped up in your grandson.......but, dear Tish, this sounds to me as if it is beyond what you are capable of doing on your own. You will bear the brunt of this responsibility for many years to come.......You said it TIsh, "I don't have it in me to do this again." There is your truth. </p><p></p><p>How you do this, how we all do this is we do it one moment, one choice at a time. Your truth is you can't do this. From there you will find the next step, then the next after that. We don't know the future, we don't know how it will unfold, who will show up...how it will work out..we can only make this one choice in front of us and from that, we move ahead. I believe when we are clear about what it is we are willing to do, or NOT willing to do, when we make that commitment to ourselves, then "providence moves" and events evolve as a result of that choice in a certain direction. </p><p></p><p>You're being brave to state what you are not willing to do. That decision brings up the fears of who, what, how will my grandson be cared for.........and that has yet to unfold, you don't need to make it yours now. Stick to your guns Tish, follow what you know to be right for you........it's a terrible place to be, but in the midst of all of the darkness you find yourself in right now, you are still clear about what you can do and what you can't do......even though it doesn't feel good, it's a healthy choice......I believe out of that choice will come options you simply cannot see right now. </p><p></p><p>Stay true to yourself. Stay close to the board. Trust the process. We're here for you......</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="recoveringenabler, post: 663158, member: 13542"] Tish, I am sorry you are going through these feelings. I get it too. In spades. I know the place you are in intimately. You know the choice I made. And, it cost me. It turned out okay and now that I am at the end of that journey, I am glad I did it. BUT, the big BUT is that there were many times I reached the end of my rope, had more stress and worry and fear and anger and resentment than I thought was possible to hold in my body. I sought so much help because I knew I could never do it alone, not only to help with my granddaughter, but to help ME. Tish, I am on the outside and my heart is not wrapped up in your grandson.......but, dear Tish, this sounds to me as if it is beyond what you are capable of doing on your own. You will bear the brunt of this responsibility for many years to come.......You said it TIsh, "I don't have it in me to do this again." There is your truth. How you do this, how we all do this is we do it one moment, one choice at a time. Your truth is you can't do this. From there you will find the next step, then the next after that. We don't know the future, we don't know how it will unfold, who will show up...how it will work out..we can only make this one choice in front of us and from that, we move ahead. I believe when we are clear about what it is we are willing to do, or NOT willing to do, when we make that commitment to ourselves, then "providence moves" and events evolve as a result of that choice in a certain direction. You're being brave to state what you are not willing to do. That decision brings up the fears of who, what, how will my grandson be cared for.........and that has yet to unfold, you don't need to make it yours now. Stick to your guns Tish, follow what you know to be right for you........it's a terrible place to be, but in the midst of all of the darkness you find yourself in right now, you are still clear about what you can do and what you can't do......even though it doesn't feel good, it's a healthy choice......I believe out of that choice will come options you simply cannot see right now. Stay true to yourself. Stay close to the board. Trust the process. We're here for you...... [/QUOTE]
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