Update On THE meeting! Crisis Mode Is Over...thanks!

Discussion in 'Parent Emeritus' started by DDD, May 25, 2011.

  1. DDD

    DDD Well-Known Member

    The meeting was this morning. Can you believe this??? The Hearing Officer said "there are only two chairs in the office so three can't attend". Lo and behold, lol, she said to GFGmom "I'll call you if you are needed." :likeit: Never in a million years did I think difficult child and I could have the meeting with-o GFGmom present.

    I had spent twelve hours researching, pulling out old resports starting when difficult child was four years old, listing psychiatrists, Tdocs, addresses, phone numbers, summaries of the treatment period and each neuro/psychiatric and evaluation ever done. Plus I used the SS website to make a list of all the issues that might factor in on the decision. Typed "their wording" and then typed in how difficult child fit the category. Whew!

    We were in the hearing office for 90 minutes. It was really interesting but I won't share all the details. Unless you have a young adult trying to get disability back it probably wouldn't be that interesting. In a nutshell difficult child shared dialog with the lady for about forty minutes. Then I was given a turn. It did not sound promising at all as the SS bottom line is "if he can work at a repetitive task (like grocery carts) he is not disabled enough to receive support". Yikes.

    I did my presentation using "their terms" and then at the end addressed the lady by saying that difficult child and his family believed he would be able to work IF he had a chance to get stablized and that I had found placement thru Volunteers of America where he would have a "supported living" apartment with his "job coach" on site. I shared that the VofA people would transport him to medical appts., help him seek the right job etc. etc. etc. (As you know I'm long winded, lol.) The lady looked surprised and said "does his supported living apartment depend on being approved for disability"?
    I told her that he is already approved because they don't question his disabilities but that he has to pay rent and utilities. She looked at difficult child and said "you are a very lucky young man to have such a strong advocate". Then she repeated that his application had to be reviewed and processed BUT she would mark it "Expedite".

    I'm cautionsly optimistic. My address and phone number are the contacts. difficult child told her that I would take care of helping him learn how to budget his money and not be "impulsive". lol The meeting was over and GFGmom said "is it my turn?" I told her that I had shared her information and the meeting was over! Evil me...I got a kick out of that. GFGmom only asked two questions on the way home. "how long before we know?" and "why do you want to take over his money?" :sigh:

    Thank you all for the support. I gave my best shot. Divine intervention kept me in the drivers seat and GFGmom in the lobby. I'll update you when the envelope comes. DDD
  2. Marcie Mac

    Marcie Mac Just Plain Ole Tired

    That is wonderful news and for the life of me I don't know HOW in the world you didn't, after getting your first shot in to difficult child mom, give her a more direct physical one. You are a better woman than I LOL

  3. Star*

    Star* call 911........call 911

    Ohhhhhhhhhhh Marcie!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! (snort) ---(but yessssssssssssssssssssssssss) lol

    Well we have been keeping the GOOD THOUGHTS rolling here and APPARENTLY BOARD POWER ((((((((((((((((((((((((((( D3 had the POWERRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRR)))))))))))

    Rules once again!

    rha rha rhee kick her in the other knee........... OM G Marcie I'm still laughing at you.
  4. susiestar

    susiestar Roll With It

    I'm with Marcie and Star! Rha Rha rheet! Kick her in the seat!

    This is AWESOME news. What did you say when gfgmom asked you why you wanted to control his money?Did her jaw fall open if you said you wanted to teach him how to spend it all wisely and to not ever give it all to her for her bogus "debts" and fraudulent safekeeping that means she spends it on herself?? HOW did you resist the temptation to say that and MORE????

    You are a wonderful woman and even gfgmom is lucky to have you. I would have told her in NO uncertain terms that if she didn't back away from all things financial with him that I was reporting her fraud to the IRS and Social security and then I would have done it.

    I am THRILLED at the way this worked - and that you did such an amazing job advocating for him. they do NOT often expedite these things!!
  5. klmno

    klmno Active Member

    You go, Girl!! I know I always dread having to write up a bunch of stuff to get a point across to the system but it usually makes me feel better, if nothing else. In the cases where it actually wins the case, it's awesome!! Good job!
  6. Hound dog

    Hound dog Nana's are Beautiful

    That's our fantastic stupendous fabulous warrior Mom!!!!! Way To Go!!

    That whole if he can push shopping carts part bothered me.............................. Ours has said no such thing about Travis, who could do that if someone would hire him to do that, but they won't. Granted, it's not SAFE for him to do that due to vision.........but he's done it in the past. They just reviewed his paperwork from when he was denied, corrected the name scr*w up from the last CW.....inserted husband's new income and said re-file and it's his.

    Still praying hard and being a pretzel, just in case.

  7. keista

    keista New Member


    Keeping fingers crossed the "expedite" goes well
  8. KTMom91

    KTMom91 Well-Known Member

    Great news!
  9. DDD

    DDD Well-Known Member

    :bigsmile: I have to admit that I have been smiling as I read each of you post...you guys absolutely "know" GFGmom. Susiestar you got half of my response absolutely right. I did say "I want to teach him how to independently handle his financial obligations and to understand that only with a budget that he sets can he act like a true adult."

    No, lol, I didn't add the rest because...you guys know why...it would not make any impact on GFGmom at all. No reason to beat a morally dead horse. Right? Right.

    IF he gets approved, however, I want to actually "see" in SS records how to heck she has been able to receive years and years of disability for him when he lived with us. I also really, really, want to know how the debt has been transferred to become his debt. She told me, you all may recall, years ago that SS had discovered that she had illegally accepted years of payment and they were going to take the money back via wage garnishment. I still can't imagine how she got off the hook and he was hung out to dry. Geez.

    on the other hand, the most important goal IS to teach him how to live independently before I start pushing up roses or daisies or whatever. LOL DDD
  10. witzend

    witzend Well-Known Member

    I would only add for future reference for anyone going through this that being able to do a repetitive job does not necessarily mean our kids can KEEP the job. They can be unreliable, and they can be moody and difficult to deal with and bosses don't want to deal with that. I would really like to see M get disability and a program like your son has an opportunity to do. His attitude is just so awful that I can't be of help to him with that. I only pray that he doesn't end up dead or in jail before he gets his life together. I know in my heart that he never has a chance to be something great in the world. I would just like him to get by. Sigh....
  11. rejectedmom

    rejectedmom New Member

    PHEW!!! There are tears in my eyes. -RM
  12. Shari

    Shari IsItFridayYet?

    I am so glad it went well.

    I may have missed it, but is he still being held liable for the "overpayments"?
  13. Suz

    Suz (the future) MRS. GERE


  14. DDD

    DDD Well-Known Member

    No discussion on debts to SS....yet. I'm just hoping he gets reinstated and that I can keep GFGmom at arms length.

    :bow: Suz!