Hi all. Just wanted to give a bit of an update on the court goings on. His first appearance is on the 16th. I've spoken again with the investigator and I'm not going to attend that hearing. It's 4 hours away and will only last a few minutes. The court in that town is a provincial court and they will be sending the cases to the jurisdiction of the Superior Court from then on, which is only about 2 hours away from me. easy child isn't visiting her dad that week, so I can't see paying bus tickets for us both and regardless, I would never bring her to something like that. He has another appearance in the original town (the one 4 hours away) for charges regarding my aunt. Since he was under 18 at the time of offending, even at 60 years old, he's being tried for those charges in young offender court. Strange! Makes sense, but gosh it feels so pathetic as a recourse of justice, even though I understand. That appearance is Sept. 8. That case will remain in that town and with that judge. Luckily it will be the same judge who hears all the other charges and sends them to the higher court, so he'll know that my aunts case is not isolated and that this man has a long history. Charges have been laid regarding 2 more victims. I'm not quite sure I understand why there are 8-9 (more maybe?!?) statements of victims and only 4 of us have had charges laid on our behalf. But they were laid and I'm grateful. I'm guessing their solidifying their cases before laying the charges perhaps. I'm told more charges ARE coming. So I'm practicing patience. Of the 2 new sets of charges, I do know that one person is my former step sister. I dread seeing her in a court room because her and her mom, my former step mother, get upset (I am talking hysterical level upset) at his name and if contacted by any of his family. I learned that the hard way a few years ago when I contacted her to see how she was doing, how her kids were etc. I mean, we were a family of sorts and she and I shared a room for a year and had grown close. She came to visit when I gave birth to Matt, and again for his christening. I was hurt by her explosive reaction to me, but yet part of me completely understands. I plan to keep a very polite distance when seeing them at court hearings, but I know in my heart it will hurt to be tainted by the sins of my father so to speak. The other person charges have been laid on behalf of is a unknown person. It is not a family member nor a former step sibling. It seems indeed in the process of investigating, someone must have come forward on their own, someone who is no longer in contact with any of the family and none of us have a clue. I hope they have a source of support for themselves. My baby sisters older sister (she's about 21 now I think) is the one that charged him a few years ago and the crown attorney had to withdraw the charges because she just couldn't cope with the court proceedings. I was informed yesterday that the crown attorney on these cases is looking into have jurisdiction for that case switched legally to them so they can relay the charges. I know that this young woman, knowing she is no longer alone, will be able to testify now. She's no longer a scared teen, she is no longer on her own in this, she has all the rest of us in her corner, and her mother no longer has the power to destroy her spirit (Some of you may remember her mother, my baby sisters odd ball mother, attended court with HIM each time, and claimed her daughter seduced my father while he was drunk, convinced him she was her own mother. That is how this woman validated what she saw when she WALKED RIGHT IN on the scene. After which she promptly threw her daughter out, I mean right in the moment, and hasn't spoken to her since). There is forensics for that case as she attended police right away and then the hospital. There is a problem with laying one further charge on my behalf. Seems that when I filed a complaint against him as a young tween, the police in my current city (where I filed) have nothing at all in their records except for my actual statement. There are no notes of investigation, nothing in the file but that statement. There should have been notes made but it seems that perhaps they never even bothered to look into it. It seems likely they simply took my statement, stuck it in a file, and never looked at it again. Can you imagine? I've been having some strong emotions on that one! The investigator now is great, she's been trying to get more from my police department, to no avail. She wanted those records to pull a file together to lay an additional charge for something that occurred here in this town. Additionally, this local police department was to have their victims services contact me to offer services (counselling, help with victim impact statements, answer questions about the court process, help set up transportation to court hearings and support person to attend with etc). They are dodging this too and nobody has contacted me even with court creeping up quickly. It is showing quite clearly they are sitting on their hands trying to figure out why that file is glaringly empty. Perhaps legally they are concerned about lawsuit or something since nothing they have shows they did anything at all about the allegations made, and that was at a time when they could have easily gotten real evidence from the hotel room where this occurred. I'm not dwelling but at some point I know my anger meter is going to hit. I mean, what if they'd done their job? What if they'd charged him then? Certainly many others might have not been harmed. At least he'd have been a registered sex offender. Again, trying to not think hard on this one as to not overwhelm myself. I'm told no matter what that the charge for that situation will be laid, but they remain hoping that this police department will find something in their files to show what they did or did not learn in their investigation (if there was one!). All of the cities that these offenses occurred in have handed jurisdiction to the one place that is investigating now and where the current charges are being handled. So he has to face them all together and from a strategy standpoint, it is a good thing for the victims. The same judge will be hearing all of the cases and this way he doesn't get to pretend in each court like each victim is a isolated case. I ran into a relative that has been living in retirement in South America. Her kids and grands are all here in town and she's home visiting. She and her eldest daughter were at the mall and I hadn't known she was back in Canada visiting so was delighted to see her (we have been fairly close throughout my life). It was a heart breaking experience. Her sister was attacked by my father violently and only her husband arriving home stopped her rape. She refuses to speak on the topic to police but made sure she told another family member, to tell me, because she somehow felt I should know more about this monster that created me, but ordered me to not reveal her story to police. Seeing as there were witnesses (her husband and a friend of his) this would have been a slam dunk case. Anyhow, I've complied. Then I run into this cousin, that womans sister, and I was treated horribly. Her and her daughter were like deer in headlights. I've never been close to the sister who was one of his victims, but this woman and I have celebrated birthdays, christmas, gone camping together, sleepovers with her children when I was little, she was there for the birth period of Matt. And she treated me like a toxic mold that was coming too close to her. She couldn't get away quick enough from me and didn't even try to hide it. I've had that type of reaction (STAY AWAY!) from my fathers family via 2 of my aunts, but I never knew them and it stung but didn't hurt, if that makes sense. This cousin however really broke something inside of me with her treatment of me. I had seen her just as I entered the mall. I had to turn around and leave the building right away and come straight home because I could not compose myself. I never thought someone close to me would cringe at seeing me simply because I brought my father to police attention to stop his offenses and try to protect others. I have had several instances now of being tainted by the sins of the father so to speak and I'm coping, somehow I'm coping with it, but it hurts in somewhere deep and I think it's killed a tiny part of my spirit. Certainly I have some regrets now competing with my pride in knowing I did the right thing and fought so hard to get this scum off the streets. But regrets are creeping in. This was supposed to bring him to justice, bring myself and others closure and end this chapter. Right now the only results I'm seeing is my becoming a pariah to so many and most don't bother me, but some of them? I doubt I'll ever understand and can't help hurting. My new oldest sister is going to attempt to get some DNA from personal items of my uncle, to send off for testing to see if he or my father is her real father. We know the truth but she feels she needs the proof in order to go forward to speak with her mother and my uncle. We've lined up a lab to do this in Toronto and the results come back within a week. The tricky part will be getting a proper untainted sample without my uncle knowing. The only CURRENT positive in this was my lovely overnight visit this past weekend with my newest sister. Seeing my easy child meet her aunt and the two of them being like instant peas in a pod was wonderful. easy child was thrilled to meet her and there was not a moment of awkwardness. My sister just got out of her car on arrival, swooped up easy child in a bear hug with a huge grin and started talking like we'd always had her around, which set the tone for easy child and I swear my easy child glowed for the 2 day visit. Anyhow, that's my current update. I don't expect anything to crop up now until that court appearance, where probably nothing will happen but changing to the other court jurisdiction. Although there is always a chance in there that he will attend with his lawyer and try to strike a plea deal of sorts, which would probably be welcome by all of us involved. Otherwise, there will be a few more court hearings before a preliminary hearing where we all will have to testify to prove to the judge there is enough evidence to set this all over for a real trial, at which point he can choose trial by judge or jury. If he doesn't take a deal, this process will take anywhere up to 2 years. I'm trying to get my emotions in grip and check because this is far from over, in fact its only just begun. If you all could continue to keep my family in your thoughts I'd really appreciate it. There are many of us who could use all the good vibes we can get. This is so outside my experience and so overwhelming in sheer magnitude and scope, even this past weekend I learned yet MORE about him and to repeat a phrase I've used several times about this all, the new things make the mind boggle. Quite frankly I may be at my limit of what new things about him that I can learn on a emotional level. I think only the past week or so, since that cousin treated me that way, I have realized this person, animal, psychopath, is my FATHER. Half of my blood, my dna, created me, is in me. I know thats common for people to feel, I know its stupid, he is no reflection of me. But on a different level, it has suddenly for the first time really hit home that when these victims all speak in court, or see me at court, they see HIS CHILD. That's a tough one I need to work on handling better.