Update to difficult child and drug/alcohol charges

Discussion in 'General Parenting' started by Nancy, Oct 12, 2009.

  1. Nancy

    Nancy Well-Known Member Staff Member

    difficult child texted me Saturday afternoon while we were on our way to a family wedding asking if she could come home for the day because boyfriend had to work (have no idea where she spent Friday night as I wouldn't let her come home). I texted back that she could not come home, door was locked and we would be gone all day. I have no idea what she did or where she went but boyfriend had to work all day.

    We got home at 11:30 p.m. and the phone rang at 11:35 with her asking if she could come home to sleep and that she was in the development. Evidently she and boyfriend must have been waiting for us to get home. So I said she could come in and sleep. Sunday while I was at the grocery store she told husband about the charges. He told her she better call her attorney. She spent the day in her room, ate dinner, and boyfriend drove her back last night.

    Her hearing is at 8:15 tomorrow. She didn't call the legal services until after husband called her at noon today and told her she better do it now. The attorney can't meet with her until next Tuesday and didn't tell her what to do at the arraignment. So she asked husband what she should do and he told her to either plead guilty and go to jail or not guilty and ask for more time to meet with her attorney. The courthouse is about two miles away and she has to walk LOL.

    In the meantime she got an email from the college judicial committee informing her that there will be an intake hearing and that she would have to produce witnesses and character references and after the hearing they would decide who was responsible (she was of course) and decide if she would be kicked out of college. Her financial aid will be discontinued also.

    Of course she didn't read this email yet and hardly every checks her email, I have her password so I saw it. So evidently she still doesn't understand the seriousness of her actions.

    Through all of this my mommy heart is breaking but there is nothing I can do anymore.

  2. tiredmommy

    tiredmommy Site Moderator

    I can't help but feel broken-hearted for you & even difficult child too even though the hand writing has been on the wall for awhile. {{{Hugs}}} :(
  3. busywend

    busywend Well-Known Member Staff Member

    Nancy, the only way she learns is from her own mistakes. Nothing you can do or say will help her. So, you are doing the right thing to let her mess up and learn from it. It is the only way.

  4. KTMom91

    KTMom91 Well-Known Member

    Sending hugs. Hopefully she'll learn from this.
  5. everywoman

    everywoman Active Member

    Just a hug Nancy---from someone who is living your life on the east coast.
  6. Shari

    Shari IsItFridayYet?

  7. Fran

    Fran Former desparate mom

    I'm sorry for your family.
    I'm sorry for your mommy heart. I truly, can't think of anything you can do that you haven't already done.
  8. susiestar

    susiestar Roll With It

    I am so sorry. Will you let her come home to you if she is kicked out of college? For how long? Under what conditions?

    NOT that you need to tell us, but you and husband need to talk about this.

  9. I have a problem with the financial aid. Kids make mistakes, we know that. But when FAFSA discontinues aid, it is setting these kids down a road of limited possibilities. One mistake and no college for you. It's sad really. It's a consequence that doesn't met the crime.
  10. gcvmom

    gcvmom Here we go again!

    Nancy, I'm very sorry she's just not getting it. It's got to be so hard to sit back and watch the train wreck. You've done all you can at this point.