Discussion in 'General Parenting' started by busybee, Sep 13, 2008.

  1. busybee

    busybee New Member

    I thought I would give everyone an update on what happened last night. We ended up having to call 911 to get my difficult child to the hospital. He went in an ambulance. When difficult child gets angry with us he says that we abuse him. The police have seen this before. When the police officer came he talked to him for a little while and then went outside with my husband when emt arrived. He told him that he didn't see any signs of abuse and asked him how he was doing on his medications.
    So we went to the hospital at about 6:45. We did all the check in stuff got taken up to the psychiatric assessment and talked to a nurse and then waited for the dr. We did not see the dr. until 12:00. By this time difficult child had calmed down considerably. He had apoligized for his behavior and was saying he just wanted to go home.
    So the dr. talked to difficult child for about 20 min. Then he talked to us and said he didn't want to admit him. He didn't get to see my difficult child when he was the angriest. He got to see him when he was calm and had been sitting for 5 hours waiting. He told us just to call his dr. on Monday and referred us to a therapist.
    Anyway, I hope it was the right decision to send him home. I wish other people could see him when he is fighting and raging. I wish they knew what we go through. All the dr. ever get to see is my son when he is calm and agreeable. I feel like no one is really helping us and I just want my child to feel better.
  2. Andy

    Andy Active Member

    How close is the psychiatric hospital? I would take him directly there next time. The staff there will not ignore the behavior waiting for him to calm down before evaluating.

    I hate that ER's often have you sitting so long that the problem has subsided so they send you home. My brother in law used to go to the ER alot with some unknown extreme pain. They would give him medications to help until the dr could see him - then by the time the dr did see him he felt better so got the, "Why did you come? Nothing is wrong with you!" ARGGG

    difficult child proclaiming abuse is showing his desperation. He is grasping at straws. Maybe it is also his way of asking for help. He is trying also to get the professionals to hear that he needs help and no one seems to be listening.

    Can you have a camcorder ready and video his next episode? Then show it to his psychiatrist.
  3. susiestar

    susiestar Roll With It

    I am sorry you had to go through all of that and feel you received no real help. I know exactly how you feel.

    I strongly encourage you to get a video camera and have it charged and handy. Most docs work best when they SEE the difficult children in full rage. So often we have to "earn" the psychiatrist's trust, or belief, that the difficult children are really as bad as we say they are. Having video, even if it is just on your phone's camera (if that is all you have, or all you ahve handy) goes SO FAR toward having someone really treat the problems.

    Even being admitted inpatient is no guarantee that anyone will see the raging difficult child that mom and dad see. My son went into a psychiatric hospital when he was 12. He was there for 6 WEEKS before he let the staff see any of the difficult child behaviors - he honeymooned in every new situation, but that was the worst in my humble opinion. It was the longest he had ever held it together, and they were about to release him. He only went into a rage, in our case, because I intentionally pushed his "buttons" and triggered a rage. I let the therapist know before I did it, and it was a horrific experience. BUT it let them justify keeping him inpatient and we all got much needed help during the stay.

    Is there ANYWHERE you can put a hidden camera watching over the living room, or a play area, or somewhere? Oor a place you could stash a fully charged camera with fresh film, or tape, or whatever, so that you could pull it out at a second's notice? That truly will be the fastest way to get the docs to help you.

    Sorry last night was so rough.
  4. klmno

    klmno Active Member

    I'm sorry you had to go through all that, just to get sent home. My son has been in psychiatric hospital before and I had a feeling that your son might not be admitted, given that he had cooled down from physical outbursts. And, I don't think it's uncommon for teenage boys and their dads/step-dads to get in physical confrontations. But, using anything as a weapon is something that can't be ignored - that's different. Does this happen often or is this the first time?
  5. smallworld

    smallworld Moderator

    What medications/doses is your difficult child taking (it's helpful if you put them in your profile)? Is he better, worse or about the same since starting these medications?
  6. mom_in_training

    mom_in_training New Member

    It always seems to work out that way that is until you get them on recording or video. Maybe consider a nanny cam so that you can get difficult child in action without his knowledge. I can assure you that the doctors would have a whole different view on difficult child and hopefully take the appropriate action in treatment. Yikes!!!! I'm so sorry.
  7. Wiped Out

    Wiped Out Well-Known Member Staff Member

    I'm so sorry, how frustrating! I like the idea of video taping. None of the professionals have ever seen my difficult child in a full rage or even close. Thankfully, with the exception of the last psychiatric hospital stay, they all believe us just from what they see when they see him.