Discussion in 'The Watercooler' started by babyblue31, Feb 28, 2009.

  1. babyblue31

    babyblue31 New Member

    I haven't went to the specialist yet, but that appointment. is on the fifth of march and frankly I'm scared to death!!

    I have been really under the weather lately.. I wake up almost every morning with a really bad migrain. I also find myself tired and weak. I hate feeling like this.. My house is a mess and I have no energy to clean it.. Altrhough I am going to today. Just tired of looking at it, plus difficult child will help, if I can pull him away from the cartoons.. (hahaha)

    I am tring to be strong and keep my head up, but I find myself really depressed all the time. There is so much that could go wrong and it really hard not to think about that. I cry at night so no one can see, I don't want difficult child to see me that way.. He's everything to me and he's been through so much already in his short life. He don't need to worry about mommy too..

    Does anyone have any advice to help me coupe with this. I aslo want to say GOD BLESS ALL OF YOU for your support and compassion. I think I would be a mess with it.. So in closing thank all of you from the bottom of my heart!!!! :sick: :(
  2. Lori4ever

    Lori4ever New Member

    Try to rest as much as you can, and take care of you. I know it's hard, but try to avoid the focus on "what if ". It will stress you more and could make the migraines worse. Those aren't fun, and I'm sure it's really hard to handle all of it right now. Try to have your thyroid checked, as well. Take care of you.okay?
  3. Hound dog

    Hound dog Nana's are Beautiful


    I understand all too well the fears you're having right now.

    More than 20 yrs ago I was diagnosed with kidney disease, and of course not just any kidney disease but one that is typically only seen in the elderly. doctor told me I'm the first young person he'd ever heard of with it. I was sick, terribly sick, with 2 babies. I couldn't stay out of the hospital for more than a couple of weeks at a time. I'd had so many surgeries that it became life or death each time I went into the operating room, the danger being the amount of anethesia I'd had in such a short amount of time, not just the kidneys that could fail at any time.

    I was so scared and felt so alone. I was scared for my babies. Although I had family, I'd grown up with those people and knew I didn't want them raising my kids. husband was off in some pretend world and so much in denial he was of no help at all.

    When the doctor gave me the terminal diagnosis I remember just staring at him. I was 22 yrs old with a infant and a 3 yr old. Prognosis depended on how fast the disease progressed, I could have as long as ten years or as little as a week.

    I told him I felt like I'd just been svcked into a bad movie scene. And it truly felt like that.

    I knocked on death's door plenty of times during the early years of my illness. And finally, with a crash cart sitting next to my bed and a nurse afraid to leave my bedside........I had to hand it over to God. We had a "talk" so to speak. And I told him he gave me easy child and Travis to raise (Nichole wasn't born yet) and all I asked of him was to give me that chance to do the job he'd given me. After that.......I'd be more than willing to go.

    I made arrangements for husband's brother and wife to take the kids if something happened to me and husband couldn't care for them. Then I let it go because I had no choice. I could either spend whatever time I had worrying and such, or I could make the most of every moment.

    Sounds noble. But it's not really. It's just all you can do in this sort of situation. And it comes in time.

    I'm not scared anymore and haven't been since God and I had our little chat. I still go thru the emotions....anger, frustration, feeling sorry for myself (I really try hard not to), denial.......... That's just being human.

    I know you're scared to death. Anyone would be. But try not to work yourself up into panic mode at this point. You don't even know if there is reason for you to be so upset. I'm a planner. I make plans to deal with situations and then I can go on about life without feeling overwhelmed.

    by the way, I'm 45. It's been a long haul, but I'm still here and doing pretty good considering. My kids are raised and I guess what I'm getting now is bonus. My diagnosis is still terminal. My disease just didn't progress as rapidly as predicted.

    I think if you can get some arrangements (even just verbal) as to difficult child's care if the worst should happen......it would help some to relieve your mind. Just take it one step at a time. Try not to look too far ahead. In all these years, I've never planned for the future. I take it one day at a time.

    You can get thru this. And we're here to help as much as we can.