Discussion in 'General Parenting' started by klmno, Mar 5, 2012.

  1. klmno

    klmno Active Member

    OK, DDD, sit down so you don't fall when you read this.

    PO wasn't there, I liked both the coordinator and the counselor who's being assigned and so did difficult child. I found the coordinator very down to earth. The counselor is under her trraining but is male, which will be good for difficult child. I talked tto them about the conflict between me and PO and said it was over him telling us one thing then coming to find out somethhing was different, me not trusting him, etc. The lady said THEY had to know the criteria for day passes, releases, etc in order to incorporate it in their plan. I liked them so much I ask if I moved to that jurisdiction meaning PO was different and this had already started, could they continue if that PO agreed and they said yes. So I signed papers and then we went thruu the intake process of them getting tons of info from me and difficult child. Here's hoping I didn't buy into something horrible. LOL! But comfort level and feeling like we were saying the same thing regarding the issues that should be addressed is so important.

    The IEP coordinator from the detention center had called about me signing difficult child's IEP for them since he got transferred so I met up with her while there, too. She found a way to keep it possible, although it will be difficult, for difficult child to still be able to get the advanced diploma, as long as he doesn't fail any classes. He's ttaking chemistry now and I'm not so sure I trust a detention center teaching chemistry well enough for a kid to pass any standardized test but we'll see.

    The counselors seemed to understand when I said I didn't want to be spending my time worrying whether or not PO was going to back up stuff and having to go thru koi just to get criteria for stuff, I want to be spending it working on resolving issues with difficult child's and my releationship and getting the comfort level back, etc, and so I still plan to move. I found myself at the end of the mtg getting distracted by thoughts of "what if we do this and PO throws another wrench in a release or releases difficult child the week of final exams at sd" and then remembered- oh- I can get rid of that problem and felt much better again. So I still plan to move. They are going to start individual counseling late this week with difficult child at the detention center but will be coming for a couple of individual sessions with me at the hhome on Fri and Mon evening, then they will continue individually with difficult child for 2-3 weeks then we are to have a very long family session that reveals their assessment or something like that. She siad she can tell PO at some point, difficult child has to be returned to live in the home or they can't go any further. I don't know who came up with this idea but somehow I find it difficult to belleve it was PO because he had been set on reentry lady, and so was his super, then all of a sudden he popped up with this and it sounds like it's the perfect answer- too good of an idea for him to think of on his own, in my humble opinion. LOL! If it turns out to start looking disastrous, then one aa new PO is on board, I'll ask about having it changed but as long as it goes the way they made it sound, I think I can muddle thru and it might actually be just what we both needed.

    For whomever sent prayers, support, and board juju....Thank you with all my heart!
    Last edited: Mar 5, 2012
  2. JJJ

    JJJ Active Member

    It sounds like they get it! What a relief!
  3. AnnieO

    AnnieO Shooting from the Hip


    I know we don't always agree, but it's extremely crystal clear to me that you are tying yourself into KNOTS to make sure difficult child is treated, if not fairly, at least reasonably close to fairly.
  4. HaoZi

    HaoZi Guest

    I'm so happy you landed someone who sounds like they know their job and is willing to help you and difficult child!
  5. klmno

    klmno Active Member

    When I tell people the story, they are astounded that difficult child was committed to Department of Juvenile Justice that first time instead of being sent to that Residential Treatment Center (RTC). I had to go over that today, too. And while I was there, I got to show difficult child, in front of these counsellors, a certificate of outstanding school work from the Department of Juvenile Justice facility's school that I'd just rec'd in the mail. And the counselors knew I was mtg with IEP person to sign IEP. So maybe PO is going to have a little harder time backing up that I'm the uncooperative one than he thought. But thank you all again.

    Step, I didn't know we disagreed very often...maybe you just don't tell me. LOL!
  6. DDD

    DDD Well-Known Member

    :bravo: I am so truly happy for you and difficult child. Simply awesome update. Thank heavens I was sitting because it exceeded my expectations. Wahooooo! When I get home I'm going to a Cutty just in your honor. Hugs DDD
  7. buddy

    buddy New Member

    THRILLED for you. Your son needed to hear some good news too and the fact that both of you were on the same page, well that has to be a really good step toward the overall rejoining of your family. You are a team. Team KLMNO! GOOOOOOOO TEAM!
  8. klmno

    klmno Active Member


    Should I respond by saying I'm so glad I gave you a reason to have a drink or that I'm sorry I have driven you to drink?

    difficult child is getting his reassurance quickly that I'm not the one that held up his release to begin with and there's so much evidence piling up it's pathetic.

    I had gotten a VM from the PO's csu director (that's the director of this local csu) saying that he would be happy to meet with me to discuss the parole plan if I'd like and giving me his phone number if I wanted to schedule a mtg with him, PO, and PO's super. I haven't returned that call yet- I really see no point in it. If he doesn't see the importance of complying with the law and stating the measurable criteria, no mtg is going to help. I guess the central office must have let him know I forward all that email string and parole plan to them, asking them to tell me who was supposed to give difficult child and me the measurable criteria that the law says we are to get.
  9. DDD

    DDD Well-Known Member

    Looking at the sentence structure you'd think I was already tossing it down. Nope I'm still at work drinking water. LOL

    Is there any chance that the phone call is the direct result of the meeting? Any chance at all that it could lead to the blankin' document actually getting in writing pronto since the new people can't proceed with-o it? Something to think about. Your brain must be sore from so much thinking. Back to work. DDD
  10. klmno

    klmno Active Member

    The mtg started at 10:00. The VM was left at 9:45 but I was in the detention center pottying at that time and the cell was in the car so they wouldn't have know what was going to happen with this mtg at that point. I didn't find the VM until getting home and checking the cell which was about 2:30 or so. I don't know if they are that clueless on what measuarble criteria means or what- I don't care if I can moce and get a new PO. LOL! The superintendent of the detention center came in and introduced himself to all of us at the mtg and mentioned housing 1 other boy there for reentry. I then told these counselors that that boy had been there just a few days longer than difficult child and already had a day pass approved. They asked what was the difference then for difficult child and I said "the PO". I think they got it.