Forums
New posts
Search forums
What's new
New posts
New profile posts
Latest activity
Internet Search
Members
Current visitors
New profile posts
Search profile posts
Log in
Register
What's new
Search
Search
Search titles only
By:
New posts
Search forums
Menu
Log in
Register
Install the app
Install
Forums
Parent Support Forums
Parent Emeritus
Update
JavaScript is disabled. For a better experience, please enable JavaScript in your browser before proceeding.
You are using an out of date browser. It may not display this or other websites correctly.
You should upgrade or use an
alternative browser
.
Reply to thread
Message
<blockquote data-quote="Scent of Cedar *" data-source="post: 659791" data-attributes="member: 17461"><p>For now, for this time, this is best. You have read our stories, Albatross. While the kids are addicted or addled in some other way, they view us as the enemy. Until they have recovered, it is best for us to be separate from them. When they have only themselves to work against, they have only themselves to blame. In the long run, this is more helpful to them. They can see sooner why they are in their situations when we are not involved enough for them to attribute the bad things to the quality of our helping. That it wasn't enough, that the car wasn't a new one, that we did not buy that duplex. </p><p></p><p>I think you and your D H are doing the right thing.</p><p></p><p></p><p></p><p>That is the harder choice. Our dreams for our kids are on the line here too, when we do not allow ourselves to do the very things we dreamed we would make happen for our kids. Here again, I believe you and D H are correct.</p><p></p><p></p><p></p><p>Here again, Albatross, in reading our stories, those of us who have helped again and again have created monstrous children in the way they have learned that if the story is bad enough, we will help. Or if we are hurt beyond the point that we can remember how to be strong enough to keep saying no, that we will buckle. That theme is a common one, for those of us who have helped too much.</p><p></p><p>It sounds like your son is experiencing some of the consequences of having made the choices he has: His friends are further along their life paths. That is a good consequence. That will be a good motivator for him now, while he is still young and before self-destructive paths are set in stone.</p><p></p><p></p><p></p><p>I am thinking about Leonard Cohen's "Halleluiah". All the ways we learn what love is, and that it is so different a thing than we knew.</p><p></p><p></p><p></p><p>This is a good point.</p><p></p><p>I am going to remember this.</p><p></p><p>It was very nice to hear from you, Albatross. Sincere congrats on your new business; wishing you and D H every success.</p><p></p><p>:O)</p><p></p><p>Cedar</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="Scent of Cedar *, post: 659791, member: 17461"] For now, for this time, this is best. You have read our stories, Albatross. While the kids are addicted or addled in some other way, they view us as the enemy. Until they have recovered, it is best for us to be separate from them. When they have only themselves to work against, they have only themselves to blame. In the long run, this is more helpful to them. They can see sooner why they are in their situations when we are not involved enough for them to attribute the bad things to the quality of our helping. That it wasn't enough, that the car wasn't a new one, that we did not buy that duplex. I think you and your D H are doing the right thing. That is the harder choice. Our dreams for our kids are on the line here too, when we do not allow ourselves to do the very things we dreamed we would make happen for our kids. Here again, I believe you and D H are correct. Here again, Albatross, in reading our stories, those of us who have helped again and again have created monstrous children in the way they have learned that if the story is bad enough, we will help. Or if we are hurt beyond the point that we can remember how to be strong enough to keep saying no, that we will buckle. That theme is a common one, for those of us who have helped too much. It sounds like your son is experiencing some of the consequences of having made the choices he has: His friends are further along their life paths. That is a good consequence. That will be a good motivator for him now, while he is still young and before self-destructive paths are set in stone. I am thinking about Leonard Cohen's "Halleluiah". All the ways we learn what love is, and that it is so different a thing than we knew. This is a good point. I am going to remember this. It was very nice to hear from you, Albatross. Sincere congrats on your new business; wishing you and D H every success. :O) Cedar [/QUOTE]
Insert quotes…
Verification
Post reply
Forums
Parent Support Forums
Parent Emeritus
Update
Top