Forums
New posts
Search forums
What's new
New posts
New profile posts
Latest activity
Internet Search
Members
Current visitors
New profile posts
Search profile posts
Log in
Register
What's new
Search
Search
Search titles only
By:
New posts
Search forums
Menu
Log in
Register
Install the app
Install
Forums
Parent Support Forums
Substance Abuse
update..
JavaScript is disabled. For a better experience, please enable JavaScript in your browser before proceeding.
You are using an out of date browser. It may not display this or other websites correctly.
You should upgrade or use an
alternative browser
.
Reply to thread
Message
<blockquote data-quote="New Leaf" data-source="post: 724245" data-attributes="member: 19522"><p>Hi Los,</p><p>Oh boy, that’s disappointing to have agreements go sour. It’s been a rough weekend for you.</p><p></p><p>I am in Hawaii, it does get chilly and rainy here. I would definitely have a harder time if we lived where the cold is a factor. Are there shelters where you live? We have them here, but my daughters always say they are filthy. I think it is because they don’t want to follow the rules.</p><p> Goodness Los, you have been most generous. I couldn’t afford to do any of that. My boy is 16. I have him doing his laundry. Your son is taking you for granted.</p><p> He doesn’t want you to see his account. Our d cs want their cake and eat it too (US expression).</p><p></p><p>He wins. He does. He knows how you feel, that you don’t want him in the cold. He has his fines and rent paid. Not a worry for him. Ouch. Los. Just ouch. I am sorry for the hurt of it.</p><p>My girls would do the same. They don’t want to change, so I had to. It was hurting me to be so caught up in their comings and goings.</p><p> I understand feeling this way. It’s like quicksand. Stuck and sinking, slowly sinking in the muck of it.</p><p>For them it’s just another day.</p><p>When we help too much, they don’t feel consequences of their actions.</p><p>The hard part is that we conjure up all sorts of imagery of what would or could happen if we let go.</p><p>They don’t think about that stuff.</p><p> The what if’s.</p><p>They are too busy partying, looking for the next high.</p><p>That’s the focus.</p><p>Meantime, we are worrying, guts churning, trying everything to keep them from crashing.</p><p><em>But they already have crashed</em>.</p><p>We keep rescuing, and they don’t use that effort to change, they use it to stay the same.</p><p>You will figure out what you need to do Los.</p><p>I would be angry too.</p><p>Geez, he’s got it made, everything is paid for and he has laundry service.</p><p>You are making it way too easy for him.</p><p>Stepping back doesn’t mean you coldly drop him from your life.</p><p>Let him do stuff for himself. He needs to figure it out too.</p><p>Take care of you.</p><p> Shift your focus.</p><p>One small step at a time.</p><p>Keep posting, others will come along with advice and share their stories.</p><p>We are not experts here, just folks who have been through similar challenges. Take what advice works for you. No judgement here, we all have to go at our own pace.</p><p>Breathe Los, you are going to be okay. You will figure out a solution that works best for you. The answers don’t come all at once.</p><p> It is a process.</p><p>Start by being kind to yourself.</p><p>You matter.</p><p>(((Hugs)))</p><p>Leafy</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="New Leaf, post: 724245, member: 19522"] Hi Los, Oh boy, that’s disappointing to have agreements go sour. It’s been a rough weekend for you. I am in Hawaii, it does get chilly and rainy here. I would definitely have a harder time if we lived where the cold is a factor. Are there shelters where you live? We have them here, but my daughters always say they are filthy. I think it is because they don’t want to follow the rules. Goodness Los, you have been most generous. I couldn’t afford to do any of that. My boy is 16. I have him doing his laundry. Your son is taking you for granted. He doesn’t want you to see his account. Our d cs want their cake and eat it too (US expression). He wins. He does. He knows how you feel, that you don’t want him in the cold. He has his fines and rent paid. Not a worry for him. Ouch. Los. Just ouch. I am sorry for the hurt of it. My girls would do the same. They don’t want to change, so I had to. It was hurting me to be so caught up in their comings and goings. I understand feeling this way. It’s like quicksand. Stuck and sinking, slowly sinking in the muck of it. For them it’s just another day. When we help too much, they don’t feel consequences of their actions. The hard part is that we conjure up all sorts of imagery of what would or could happen if we let go. They don’t think about that stuff. The what if’s. They are too busy partying, looking for the next high. That’s the focus. Meantime, we are worrying, guts churning, trying everything to keep them from crashing. [I]But they already have crashed[/I]. We keep rescuing, and they don’t use that effort to change, they use it to stay the same. You will figure out what you need to do Los. I would be angry too. Geez, he’s got it made, everything is paid for and he has laundry service. You are making it way too easy for him. Stepping back doesn’t mean you coldly drop him from your life. Let him do stuff for himself. He needs to figure it out too. Take care of you. Shift your focus. One small step at a time. Keep posting, others will come along with advice and share their stories. We are not experts here, just folks who have been through similar challenges. Take what advice works for you. No judgement here, we all have to go at our own pace. Breathe Los, you are going to be okay. You will figure out a solution that works best for you. The answers don’t come all at once. It is a process. Start by being kind to yourself. You matter. (((Hugs))) Leafy [/QUOTE]
Insert quotes…
Verification
Post reply
Forums
Parent Support Forums
Substance Abuse
update..
Top