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<blockquote data-quote="Copabanana" data-source="post: 748649" data-attributes="member: 18958"><p>Dear New Leaf</p><p></p><p>This man Rain is with sounds<em> CRAZY. </em>I think you are exactly right. I think that as long as he is a variable in Rain's story, a wide berth needs to be taken. Let the choices be Rain's, and the rest follows from that.</p><p></p><p>That's what I hear in your post. That these are Rain's choices. Everything we feel, we do, originates there. With them. They have begun this cascade. We are in the way. We get crushed or we move. Or we move them.</p><p></p><p>There is a reality to this story. Several crushing realities. The sepsis, the drugs, and the murderer. Your grief and fear only arise from those realities. They cannot reverse them. Your grief and fear are an effect.</p><p></p><p>In this last post you have reconnected with your intention and your responsibility. These are NOT effects. They are purposeful and powerful. You have found yourself again.</p><p></p><p>I think that for me this is a time of healing. I have found a way to keep my son peripheral to my mental space. Thoughts of him, his needs, his health, his safety are no longer colonizing me. And what has happened? I have an intense sadness. Vulnerability. Sometimes I think I used the vulnerability of my son as a way of defending against my own.</p><p></p><p>Not good.</p><p></p><p>I will try my best to play on the home court, which is me.</p><p></p><p>Right now, Rain seems very much in control of her life. She has made purposeful choices, based upon what she wants and who she is right now. I know that sounds wacky to write that. But what else can we think? She is a middle aged woman living the life she has chosen. Not one thing you have written leads to the belief she wants anything different. The only thing she does not want is the consequences of her choices. Same as my own son.</p><p></p><p>We need to play on our own field. Not theirs.</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="Copabanana, post: 748649, member: 18958"] Dear New Leaf This man Rain is with sounds[I] CRAZY. [/I]I think you are exactly right. I think that as long as he is a variable in Rain's story, a wide berth needs to be taken. Let the choices be Rain's, and the rest follows from that. That's what I hear in your post. That these are Rain's choices. Everything we feel, we do, originates there. With them. They have begun this cascade. We are in the way. We get crushed or we move. Or we move them. There is a reality to this story. Several crushing realities. The sepsis, the drugs, and the murderer. Your grief and fear only arise from those realities. They cannot reverse them. Your grief and fear are an effect. In this last post you have reconnected with your intention and your responsibility. These are NOT effects. They are purposeful and powerful. You have found yourself again. I think that for me this is a time of healing. I have found a way to keep my son peripheral to my mental space. Thoughts of him, his needs, his health, his safety are no longer colonizing me. And what has happened? I have an intense sadness. Vulnerability. Sometimes I think I used the vulnerability of my son as a way of defending against my own. Not good. I will try my best to play on the home court, which is me. Right now, Rain seems very much in control of her life. She has made purposeful choices, based upon what she wants and who she is right now. I know that sounds wacky to write that. But what else can we think? She is a middle aged woman living the life she has chosen. Not one thing you have written leads to the belief she wants anything different. The only thing she does not want is the consequences of her choices. Same as my own son. We need to play on our own field. Not theirs. [/QUOTE]
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