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<blockquote data-quote="tishthedish" data-source="post: 748722" data-attributes="member: 17103"><p>I heard a saying that sometimes the definition of heaven is backing away from hell. I came back here because I needed a booster shot of sense and I got that and more from all of you. Thank you and I'm sorry we're all in this situation.<img src="/community/styles/default/xenforo/smilies/emoticons/group-hug.gif" class="smilie" loading="lazy" alt=":group-hug:" title="group hug :group-hug:" data-shortname=":group-hug:" /></p><p></p><p>The pit is such an apt description. In all of the chaos that has ensued in my life over the years there are 2 things that I try to remember when dealing with my difficult children. The first is to stay away from the pit. Don't even look at the pit. <em><u>I think I have the ability to ascertain where the ground goes soft and it becomes dangerous, but I don't.</u></em> The edges crumble and before you know it you are on your way down. It is in my nature to trust, forgive, hope, love and mother. I thought it was all the best parts of me. In normal circumstances they would be, but this is anything but normal. We left normal in my childrens' jr. high years. Normal is a town in central Illinois. </p><p>The second thing is that if I am in the pit, don't go farther down. I can lose ground all by myself even without any contact with my kids. I bought one of those Legacy box things where you send in pictures and they digitize them for you. Holy hell, that trip down memory lane was fraught with melancholy and wistful tears. My parents, my late sister, my babies, me without the careworn look of "Auntie Em". I deal with a certain baseline of stress daily mostly due to clinical depression. If I linger on memories, hopeful outcomes, get over sentimental or think there is something <em>I</em> should do to improve the situation or move it along...watch out! The ground beneath my feet is crumbling and I better scramble back to safer ground. </p><p>I am just now learning this and trying to manage my emotions. My tendency is to isolate and get quieter and quieter. I think sometimes my husband just wants to come over and take my pulse. </p><p>I am still here and working toward building MY life. I do backslide. Nothing about this is easy. EVER.</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="tishthedish, post: 748722, member: 17103"] I heard a saying that sometimes the definition of heaven is backing away from hell. I came back here because I needed a booster shot of sense and I got that and more from all of you. Thank you and I'm sorry we're all in this situation.:group-hug: The pit is such an apt description. In all of the chaos that has ensued in my life over the years there are 2 things that I try to remember when dealing with my difficult children. The first is to stay away from the pit. Don't even look at the pit. [I][U]I think I have the ability to ascertain where the ground goes soft and it becomes dangerous, but I don't.[/U][/I] The edges crumble and before you know it you are on your way down. It is in my nature to trust, forgive, hope, love and mother. I thought it was all the best parts of me. In normal circumstances they would be, but this is anything but normal. We left normal in my childrens' jr. high years. Normal is a town in central Illinois. The second thing is that if I am in the pit, don't go farther down. I can lose ground all by myself even without any contact with my kids. I bought one of those Legacy box things where you send in pictures and they digitize them for you. Holy hell, that trip down memory lane was fraught with melancholy and wistful tears. My parents, my late sister, my babies, me without the careworn look of "Auntie Em". I deal with a certain baseline of stress daily mostly due to clinical depression. If I linger on memories, hopeful outcomes, get over sentimental or think there is something [I]I[/I] should do to improve the situation or move it along...watch out! The ground beneath my feet is crumbling and I better scramble back to safer ground. I am just now learning this and trying to manage my emotions. My tendency is to isolate and get quieter and quieter. I think sometimes my husband just wants to come over and take my pulse. I am still here and working toward building MY life. I do backslide. Nothing about this is easy. EVER. [/QUOTE]
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