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<blockquote data-quote="Copabanana" data-source="post: 749291" data-attributes="member: 18958"><p>Dear New Leaf</p><p></p><p>I read the sense of powerlessness and fear in this post, generated by how little control you have over the circumstances that affect your life and the kids' lives and your lives together. How frustrating that the parents seem still to hold the trump card over these kids (lack of) care.</p><p></p><p>This is what I think: Child Protective Services can hold whatever goal they want with respect to these kids. Ultimately, they have no real autonomy or decision-making authority, while they do try to flex their muscles. They are guided by the courts. They have to jump through hoops.</p><p></p><p>There are certain realities here: One, the parents have a long and documented history of negligence, indifference and involvement with the authorities. Two, whether or not the father signed a document or not, I think that this has limited effect. This is one of the two people who have abandoned their children. How can any paper from him guide any decision-making here? Three, the living situation with the grandparents can hardly be legal. Unless the house has 10 bedrooms. That this number of people live there can be documented. That the kids had multiple "accidents" at the hands of the adults there is documented. The abusive and high-handed behavior of grandfather was observed and documented. Finally, the kids are of an age where what they say and want has great bearing on the courts. When I was that age the judge himself met with my sister and I in chambers and asked us directly what we wanted. And what we wanted, held sway. This happened with my sisters kids too. At the age of your grands, what they wanted with respect to custody, held sway.</p><p></p><p>Yes. There is not knowing. Yes. There are authorities who believe they have voice and control. Right now you are their best shot, whether or not that social worker checked you or not. You will have to live now in that space where it is not known what will come next. Which is really the truth about life whether or not we accept it.</p><p></p><p>And you are living in the space where the kids have to live too. It's hard to accept how little control they have about anything in their lives. How blessed it is that you have such great empathy and love for them. If you define your mission, as this, New Leaf, your love of them, you will feel again your power. That is what you control here, your love and commitment to these kids.</p><p></p><p>As far as that meeting, goes, <em>peace of cake</em>. I am visualizing you in that canoe, New Leaf. You described it on a thread and I don't forget it. Where you are in churning waters, that can (and do) go one way, or another, and the outcome is uncertain. And you stay present, and powerful and centered, at one with the sea, and the divine. That's where you will be at that meeting. Love.</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="Copabanana, post: 749291, member: 18958"] Dear New Leaf I read the sense of powerlessness and fear in this post, generated by how little control you have over the circumstances that affect your life and the kids' lives and your lives together. How frustrating that the parents seem still to hold the trump card over these kids (lack of) care. This is what I think: Child Protective Services can hold whatever goal they want with respect to these kids. Ultimately, they have no real autonomy or decision-making authority, while they do try to flex their muscles. They are guided by the courts. They have to jump through hoops. There are certain realities here: One, the parents have a long and documented history of negligence, indifference and involvement with the authorities. Two, whether or not the father signed a document or not, I think that this has limited effect. This is one of the two people who have abandoned their children. How can any paper from him guide any decision-making here? Three, the living situation with the grandparents can hardly be legal. Unless the house has 10 bedrooms. That this number of people live there can be documented. That the kids had multiple "accidents" at the hands of the adults there is documented. The abusive and high-handed behavior of grandfather was observed and documented. Finally, the kids are of an age where what they say and want has great bearing on the courts. When I was that age the judge himself met with my sister and I in chambers and asked us directly what we wanted. And what we wanted, held sway. This happened with my sisters kids too. At the age of your grands, what they wanted with respect to custody, held sway. Yes. There is not knowing. Yes. There are authorities who believe they have voice and control. Right now you are their best shot, whether or not that social worker checked you or not. You will have to live now in that space where it is not known what will come next. Which is really the truth about life whether or not we accept it. And you are living in the space where the kids have to live too. It's hard to accept how little control they have about anything in their lives. How blessed it is that you have such great empathy and love for them. If you define your mission, as this, New Leaf, your love of them, you will feel again your power. That is what you control here, your love and commitment to these kids. As far as that meeting, goes, [I]peace of cake[/I]. I am visualizing you in that canoe, New Leaf. You described it on a thread and I don't forget it. Where you are in churning waters, that can (and do) go one way, or another, and the outcome is uncertain. And you stay present, and powerful and centered, at one with the sea, and the divine. That's where you will be at that meeting. Love. [/QUOTE]
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